The BLOG

 

“As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I’m not sure that I’m going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says ‘you are nothing’, I will be a writer.”

― Hunter S. Thompson,

For every blogger, there is a seemingly “normal” looking person who lives, works and dreams out there in the “real” world. We who write and create and share exist mostly under assumed names beneath a cover of unknownness and anonymity. We come in all shapes and sizes, under a rainbow of colors and experiences, faiths and nationalities. We are a varied group indeed whose representatives span the globe bringing such diverse and wonderous ideas, thoughts, knowledge and wisdom.

We all have one aspect in common; the need/want desire..compulsion even, to share what we know, what we learn and what we experience with others. We yearn to reach out in friendship and understanding through a mutual curiosity of each other and the greater diversity of humankind. We are storytellers and poets, artists and dreamers. We are lovers of life and all its wonders…we are compelled to do this…and most of us do it for free.

I know how much work you put into your blog. It is obvious the time and attention that is put into such a production. There is a love here, at least a sort of affection and there is a degree of satisfaction in having completed another post and pressing “Publish”. I can imagine how it may feel after writing a whole book! Wow! It feels good to create, to put something out there into such a world that does exist beyond oneself.

It would be nice to get paid for this…I mean really nice and great and wonderful and all that, but I’d write anyway…money or not…

SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE

We are a curious lot, we bloggers…at least I can speak for myself.   I’m sure by now anyone who has been here before and will surely attest to the fact that I am different…and proud…and I do think many of us would admit to being at least a little  odd, a bit unusual,  more colorful or just plain strange.

I have found in communicating with a diverse group in this community of ours, that we tend to be thoughtful and intelligent…most of us seem to care about other people and the world around them. I have found most to be independently minded.

I feel like a have a secret identity. There is Nancy, the soft-spoken , shy and quiet type and there’s opinionated and preachy Strawberryindigo who is sometimes full of herself but sometimes discovers sweet little colorful burst of brilliance along the way. THAT one. We are one and the same but different. SBI is more outgoing and friendly…SBI is  more sure of herself…Nancy is a chicken. I sometimes think to myself…I wonder “what SBI would do in this situation?” Sometimes I’ll take the advice and at other times I don’t have the guts.

It’s a strange duality and I wonder how many of us think along the same lines. There is a degree of voluntary anonymity here and this is freeing…

I sometimes wonder how others deal with this duality in the real world. I was wondering if many of you tell others about your blog? My immediate family knows, some cousins and a few friends know but mostly I keep the whole thing to myself. I have told a couple  co workers, and a few chance acquaintances; I feel this probably wasn’t the best idea. It seemed to be more of a confession than a proud proclamation……the words would just tumble out of me…”I have a blog” out of the blue..  Most recipients of this vitally important news have gotten a look of indigestion tinged with subtle boredom flicker across their faces and that they are secretly hoping I won’t ask them to “see” it..

I don’t know…what do you say? How do you say it? I feel funny about it and so I haven’t told many people..

I think there are some preconceived notions some may have about bloggers, creative types and writers in general,.I’ve noticed that, and it’s probably my imagination, but some people hold back after they know you are a writer that..it’s as if they think I will write secrets and unflattering words about them in some tell all book I’ll write in the future. Even MM, my beloved and charming adventure companion has accused me of planning to commit such an act….

…no wonder he’s always on his best behavior…

Like I said there are certain little joys to this “busyness”….

.

From time to time I will see a seemingly normal looking person or people taking pictures of absolutely ordinary things; buildings, trees, reindeer signs,  beautiful chocolate desserts…and I smile wide knowing he or she is a comrade in arms.

I don’t feel so strange snapping close up shots of bumblebees on irises in the parking lot at work or whippping out the camera at the grocery store…I must admit that I do enjoy sprawling out on the neighbors lawn in order to get that perfect shot underneath the leafy tree branches…

I feel like I am a part of a greater whole….a larger community…made up of people who like to share of themselves and their lives even if that means taking pictures of food in a restaurant or down at the market or whatever and writing about it…to me this is fun stuff and I bet to many of you…

There is a certain peacefulness to the whole practice…snapping snipplets of life and then write a bit about it, put it online and it comes back to life; just like that…and then these little snippets, these pieces of life of hopes, dreams, thoughts and ideas that  in the past before this technology would have stayed hidden in the dark corners of obscurity…like shooting stars…these little snippets can be set free to wander the virtual global community….later to be picked up like a bottle on the beach by a random beachcomber perhaps on the other side of the world…

This is almost akin to magic and there are treasures out there if one just looks….

Have you ever noticed that bloggers like to write a lot about blogging and that other bloggers like to read about it?  What this accomplishes, I don’t know..perhaps it’s just nice to belong….

Wishing you well on this rainy end of an all too short weekend…

Strawberryindigo.

How does it feel to be one of these bloggerful people? 

  How have your experiences in this virtual world affected you?

Changed you? enhanced your life? or otherwise?

Let me know “How does it Feel to be a Blogger?”  

“Great writers are indecent people

they live unfairly

saving the best part for paper.

good human beings save the world

so that bastards like me can keep creating art,

become immortal.

if you read this after I am dead

it means I made it.”

― Charles Bukowski

 

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Scribbles from a little blue notebook… (strawberryindigo.wordpress.com)

Scribbles from a little blue notebook…

Lonely Field in Cyan- Credit: SBI

Songbirds sing a song tinged with sweet hope bidding a farewell to the dark of yesterday’s night. The sun has not yet risen but they know it will, as do I. The clouds are strewn in patches across the sky. The sky is dark blue interlaced with an even deeper indigo that outline the tall buildings which are spotted with light. It seems every third window is lit with a warm and welcoming light. Each one reminds me there is a devoted soul inside who is engaged in some early morning business. I hope they will stop if only for a moment to watch the sun rise…and rise it will, just as it always does. There is a certain comfort in that. A certain knowingness that no matter how life changes there will always be some things we can depend on.

Credit: SBI

I hear the train in the distance just as I always do. It’s arrival is marked with a melancholic anticipation. The bike riders show up at the last-minute, their blinking helmet lights announcing their arrival. It is always this way. I sip the last of my hot tea and steady myself before we board the train. It is already half filled with early morning commuters.  We are all silent. There are no smiles, no revelry. Some stare out the windows, some read paperbacks and a few others steadily tap away on laptops. Many start to drift off and some are asleep as we make our way into the long dark tunnel that starts my morning journey.

I take out my little blue notebook and start to scribble, recording my thoughts and dreams and hopes and schemes.  I stretch my mind and explore my imagination searching for something profound or funny, but today I find nothing. …just the remnant of a song I heard earlier and the lingering doubts I sometimes feel about myself. Writing eases the lonely hours, this act keeps me from feeling so alone. It will be this very thing that will save me…someday…this I must believe.

Credit: SBI

The sun rises as we make our way from station to station. Yes It did come, this glorious sun! This sun we knew would come. I think of the songbirds back at the station I left far behind and I think of what awaits me at my stop where I will get off.  I smile a little private smile knowing that someday this will be all worthwhile as long as I can just take it day by day…

Reporting from the “wilds” of Beaverton,

Strawberryindigo.

Credit: SBI

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NOBODY HOME by Pink Floyd

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TAG Tripper

TAG! You are IT!

Niaaeryn from Gateways and Musings, a compatriot in the adventures of blogging has engaged me in a virtual twist on a school yard favorite: Tag. This particular game involves no running for which I am grateful. It does however come with some rules which I may or may not adhere to. The rules are as follows:

**********************************************************************************************
1.Post the rules.
2.Post a photo of yourself.
3.Post eleven random facts about you.
4.Questions were created for you by the person who tagged you. Answer the questions.
5.Tag several people.
6.Create eleven new questions for those that you have tagged.
7.Go to their blog/twitter and let them know that they have been tagged.

***********************************************************************************************

I really like Niaaeryn. She is a wonderful person and her questions were so intriguing I felt I had to participate. Here is the post in which you can read all the “horrible” details as to how I was tagged.

Strawberryindigo in Spring

The questions that I answered:

1.How long have you been blogging? I have been blogging since August of 2011. It seems like only yesterday. I am constantly learning and I owe much of that new knowledge to my wonderful blogging friends who are wonderfully wise. I am so lucky!
2.What made you start blogging? I have spent much of my life misunderstood and basically alone in a crowd. I have made it no secret that I am Asperger’s. In real life I am a social misfit. It seems at times I have two left feet in that regard. I have always written since I was old enough to grip a pencil. It has always been my outlet. Until I started blogging I kept everything to myself as I was afraid of what others would think of my strange and colorful personality. Since that time I have really come out of my shell! I was welcomed with open arms by this community of bloggers. I feel I can truly be myself here.  I have  received support and friendship here. Blogging has saved me and I am committed to helping others and spreading the light I have received. As crazy as it sounds, I believe it is my calling to help others with my writing.
3.What essential item do you carry with you at all times? HAHA…I carry a camera, of course. I am always snapping shots wherever I go. I have learned to ignore the funny looks and I always notice I am not the only one doing this. Whenever I see someone taking “unusual” photos I know it’s a comrade in arms!
4.If you could meet a famous person, who would it be and why?  George Clooney. I refuse to say why and please don’t tell MM.

President Obama discusses Strawberryindigo with actor and activist George Clooney during a meeting at the White House

5.Who is your favorite author? It’s hard to pick just one. I suppose my favorite is Jared Diamond. I am a compulsive learner and I just can’t get enough of the guy. I wish he could produce more but in all fairness it would be impossible given the material. I would recommend his books to anyone who likes non-fiction that explains why we humans are the way we are. I have learned an immense amount from him and to me that means a lot.

6.If a chicken was crossing the road, would you ask it why it was crossing or would you just set back and watch it cross the road taking in the moment? Why did you choose as you did? I would definitely watch the chicken and take pictures with my handy-dandy camera. Then I would probably write about it and lament that I was too chicken to ask this chicken for an interview. (I am quite shy but I am working on that.)

The question is not “WHY?” it’s “WHY NOT?”

7.What was your favorite show when you were a kid? I would have to say the original Star Trek. I have seen every single one. I identify with Mr. Spock. We have much in common, that Vulcan and I.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER

8.What is your favorite thing to cook? I know this may horrify some of you but honestly, I like to cook anything with bacon and many of my self-made recipes include the saturated-fatty nitrate packed meat product.

9.What is your favorite genre of literature? Science Fiction is my favorite genre especially from the 50′s and 60′s.I have literally read hundreds of Sci-Fi books although I mostly stick to non-fiction now.

10.What is your favorite genre of writing? Creative non fiction which I attempt to mostly do.
11. If you had a million dollars—not strings and taxes were already taken out—what would you do?   I would probably take a portion of it and save it for the future, taking some of that and investing it in a diversified portfolio of fixed and variable mutual funds. ( I used to work in that industry, so I have some good ideas about that.) I would purchase a modest house. I don’t need much. Someplace with a big yard. I would go back to school and probably major in Journalism and minor in Botany..And after that I would get to the important stuff like starting some charities. I would definitely do something for autistic people, something that lets them express themselves with art. I would buy up some virgin land and not touch it; keeping it from development. I would also like to buy land in the city and make community gardens and/or farms so people, especially low-income people, could grow their own healthy food. I would support teaching young people about the land and nature and why our planet is so important. I guess I would have more causes than money at that point. That is why I’d write about what I was doing I encourage others to contribute.  (Obviously I have given this a lot of thought.)

Community-garden-thanks-to-green-guerillas

Whew….enough about me…I suppose I am breaking some rules here because by now I am so entirely sick of myself and you probably are too so I am skipping the whole random facts about me part. Use your wild imaginations here my friends….. Now it is my turn to ask some questions…

1. How did you come up with your blogging name?
2. if you could travel to an imaginary place what would it be?
3. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
4. Do you have a favorite posession? What is it and why is it dear to you?
5. What was your favorite subject in school?
6. What is your earliest memory?
7. Could you pass a FBI check?
8. Can you juggle or perform any sort of circus act?
9. What is your deepest fear?
10. What was your first job?
11. Do you hate answering stupid nosy questions?

I don’t want to put anyone on the spot; anyone and everyone who is reading this and who wants to participate, please do so.  I welcome it! You are so fascinating and I’d LOVE to know more about you. I guess I am asking you to tag yourself which could be quite a spectacle but being bloggers here maybe some of you may choose to make a spectacle of yourself. (I certainly encourage that sort of activity) Please be my guest and break the rules, I love rule breakers. If you choose to participate make it your own. Whoever does play, please provide a link to this post and I will include a link to yours. I will also promote your post on Twitter (you can opt out on that) and if enough people respond I will do an entire post praising your glories and what I know will make an interesting read.

So how about it? Anyone up for a game??

Let me know, I’ll be around.

Strawberryindigo.

CHECK THIS OUT!!!   THE TAGGED ONES–

(Thanks for playing along)

1. It Is Meme Time!!  By Karen H. (menopausediaries.wordpress.com)

2.Just Tagging Along   By Sparkyleegeek   (sparkyleegeek.wordpress.com)

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Day Tripper By The Beatles (You Tube)  For years I thought they were singing “Tag Tripper” hence the title of this post.  I’m such an idiot sometimes!

A Colorful Person: Andy Rooney

Old Whatshisname: that cranky guy.

I am starting a new monthly feature similar to Fresh Quotes. I will be publishing this right in the middle of each month and I thought The Ides of March would be the perfect time to introduce it.  I am calling it A Colorful Person for now. If I come up with a better name, which I hope I will, I will change it. Ideas anyone?  Every month I will feature a different person. Someone who has made the world a bit more colorful. Someone who I personally admire. Some of these people will be quite obvious, others not so much. Every one of them will be people who have shaped my thinking and helped make me the me I am today. (So you’ll know who to blame. haha)

This month’s Colorful Person is Andy Rooney; the cranky old guy who was a fixture on the TV show 60 Minutes for what seemed like 60 years. He passed away at the end of 2011 at the ripe old age of 92 and I miss him terribly especially on Sunday evenings.

He was at heart a writer who said what he meant and he meant what he said. I started watching his stories on 60 minutes as a child and I continued watching until his last in October of 2011. He was an influence on me as a writer and as a person. He was the cranky Grandfather I never had.  He had tons of common sense and I’d like to share some of his plain talk wisdom with you today.

~SBI

…..and so, Here’s Andy…

Say What?

“If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.”

♦

Credit: Scubamom

“I’ve  learned ….  That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.”

Credit: Public Domain

“People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.” 

Credit: Public Domain

“I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.” 

“Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone’s answering machine? ‘Hi, it’s a great day and I’m out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love. Beep.’ ‘Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic… speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.”
 ♦

Credit: Public Domain

“Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
♦

Credit: Public Domain

“The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.”
♦

“Writers don’t often say anything that readers don’t already know, unless its a news story. A writer’s greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.”

*All of the above quotes are credited to Andy Rooney

♦

Andy Rooney was born on January 14, 1919, in Albany, New York. During WWII, he wrote for the Army’s Stars and Stripes newspaper and was one of the first American journalists to visit and write about the German concentration camps. Rooney joined the staff of CBS’ 60 Minutes in 1968 and began his iconic “A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney” segment in 1978. Rooney’s final 60 Minutes essay aired in October, 2011. He died a month later at age 92.

Credit: Biography.com

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Doing the Environmental Drag

Credit: Public Domain

Lately I have been doing a fair amount of research for a few articles with environmental themes. And there is something that bothers me about the whole thing. As I was wading through all this technical minutiae, it struck me on how depressing the whole thing is.  There are reams upon reams of information on the environment out there; books, websites and blogs from our fellow bloggers and what has struck me like a wicked slap in the face is all this doom and gloom that permeates it all.

I am someone who cares about our world an awful lot. I know there are many of us who do.  I am quite passionate about the state of our planet and how we treat it.  I seldom can watch the news anymore. It gets me all riled up. I find myself yelling at the screen.  Environmental disasters such as oil spills and the like can set me on high simmer. So probably like many others; I have tuned out, I have admittedly buried my head in the sand. A person can only take so much bad news before they shut down.

I recently did a piece on saving the trees. It was mostly hopeful and upbeat. I included some ways on how we all can help our friends the trees. I did a lot of research on the subject and I must admit; it made me depressed.

Credit: Public Domain

I like to put a hopeful spin on my writing and in my life in general but at times I have to fight bouts of depression. I suppose many of us creative types do. I have borrowed a page from Winston Chruchill; calling it the black dog. This dog is never welcome but from time to time it sits on my front porch and howls a bit.  This clouds up my skies with gray and I try to distract myself, writing helps, working in the garden helps…helping others and trying to spread a little cheer around really helps.

Let me tell you, reading through endless reports on the state of our environment does not help. To be fair to my fellow writers out there. I know they work very hard, probably much harder than I. They are learned individuals where I am a self-taught layperson. From what I’ve been reading it is easy to see why your average person who probably cares a lot for the planet is turned off by all this stuff.

I think some writers like to show off their vocabulary and knowledge and perhaps like to play a bit on the sensationalism factor.  It is difficult at times to be a reader soaking this up.  There are gifted writers of non-fiction out there who makes learning a pleasure; conveying information seamlessly and seemingly effortlessly but those writers are not as common as I like them to be.

i find myself wading through this information just to get to the pertinent information. Like a bowl of oatmeal; it is good for me, but it’s bland. It just sits there like a tasteless lump and it difficult to digest.

I guess that is one of the reasons that I try to write like I do. I could use bigger words. I could try to impress you with my 20 plus years of acquired knowledge but how boring is that?   This brings me back to the environmental thing. I was reading some blogs by who I’m sure are very smart well-meaning people but…and I ‘m half joking when I say this….but it made me want to jump off the nearest bridge.

Credit: Public Domain

If we are going to save this planet we should know what’s going on. I realise just how important and serious it all is and I am no Pollyanna, although at times I may seem like one. I am a former pessimist turned optimistic realist, emphasis on the optimism.

I talked to MM about my troubles.  He is practical where I am not and he usually gives very sound advice.  He said: “You do it.”  “Do what’? I asked. “You should concentrate your writings on the environment, put a positive spin on it, but be real and get people to listen.” He replied calmly like it was the most simple thing in the world.

Credit: public domain

What he said made me think and I mulled it over awhile. It reminded me of my life at the moment. Over the past year or so, I’ve been hit with a lot of bad news that has caused me much distress.  At first it affected me physically, then emotionally and I fell into a cycle of depression followed by bouts of over-enthusiastic denial steeped in flowery words and platitudes. I believed somehow everything would turn out for the best and I am finding this cycle repeating itself with no clear resolution. I realise this is very much like the problem with our environment; we hear all this bad news and become overwhelmed. Some of us obsess on the bad news, some ignore it and a small portion of us totally deny it. None of this solves anything and here we are hanging on while what good we do have just slips through our fingers.

Credit: Public Domain

I think what is needed is to face our problems head on and acknowledge them no matter how ugly and then move on to positive ways to deal with them…always looking at the bright side because there is always a bright side. We need to focus on what is good and what others are doing that is making a difference…but the key here is action.

So in the future look for more environmental pieces from me focusing on the bright side and what we as average citizens can do to help.

On the Sunny side of the street but walking with purpose,

Strawberryindigo.

Credit: Public Domain

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The Neon Cheesy Dust of Self Importance

Say “CHEESE”

It all started with an idea. A grandiose crazy idea, some of which I am about to tell you, most of it I must keep to myself for now but suffice to say it will be my first big move into the fast paced grown-up world of freelance writing.

So I got this idea; a flash of brilliance that almost blinded my cat Mario. I was so excited by this that I started to jump up and down and instantly without thinking, I plunged my dainty hand straight into a bag of Doritos and started to consume it’s overly cheesy contents. I am a mom and I preach ad nauseam against this sort of activity but there I was munching away; my eyes ablaze waiting for MM to come through the door and then suddenly: there he was, and there I was, and then I just blurted it out: “I want you to be my manager.” I managed to stammer, eyes wide, mouth full of chips. “You’d do what you’re doing now except that you could call yourself my manager…of course, I couldn’t pay you” I added sheepishly.

As you may have guessed; he jumped at the chance!  So there we were jumping up and down like lunatics in the kitchen. By then Mario, my famous cat, had darted out of the room, but we didn’t care. We were hugging and I was getting neon cheesy dust on his back and I didn’t care and he didn’t know, but that’s OK–I do all the laundry. It was an amazing moment for both of us…

… It is also amazing how a person can pump themselves up with a basically unearned  and certainly at this moment in time, worthless highfalutin title. Just like that.  It is at these moments that I am proud to be an American!

And that reminds me…did you know that Americans are the most narcissistic people in the world? Well…I bet you knew that but did you know that I am NOT one of these narcissistic Americans?  HA!  I bet you didn’t know THAT! Yes, it’s true. I was a bit curious about the subject so I started reading a book on narcissism; its fascinating stuff. The book contains a short test which I took, and to my surprise and embarrassment; I scored pretty low…so low that I think I may suffer from low self-esteem with a shot of delusional over-thinking and obvious long-windedness. Apparently just thinking I may be narcissistic may disqualify me.  Well I guess I still have some work to do….

…but now I have a manager and a goal…it’s nothing to choke on your Dorito over, but it’s a start.

Wishing you a fantastic day full of big dreams and junky neon cheese!

Strawberryindigo.

• ◊  Related articles  ◊ •

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Narcissism Personality Disorder Traits (mayoclinic.com)

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A Heartfelt THANK YOU!

Christmas is almost upon us and I feel this is the perfect opportunity to extend a heartfelt thanks to everyone who has liked my work, especially those of you who have graced my blog with your intelligent comments. Your feedback has been invaluable to me.

I am blessed to have such an amazing array of regular visitors from all over the world. I have learned so much from your wisdom and thoughtfulness. You have welcomed me with open arms and open minds and I am so fortunate to know you.

When I started this blog back in August of 2011 I was desperate and alone; friendless and misunderstood, you befriended and understood me. I have learned I can be myself here. That is very precious to me as I am a sensitive soul who has hidden this aspect of myself for as long as I can remember.

I had just learned of my Asperger’s and that set the tumblers in motion that has brought me here today: pouring my soul out in words that I wouldn’t dare to say to myself or even acknowledge, let alone write down for the whole world to see.

Because I hid from the world, alone in the shadows, afraid of everything…even people. Yes, I admit it here and now to you that most of my entire life I have been afraid of people; afraid to show my strange self to anyone, not even those closest to me.

I spent a good many years in an alcoholic daze “brave-facing” the world with a drunken defiant smile all the while hiding myself behind a hard steel wall of my own creation. It wasn’t until I discovered my Asperger’s that it finally dawned that I didn’t have to be alone anymore. This started my writing, first on a small blog on an Asperger’s website then a few months later in this blog. I choose the name “My Life in Color” because at the time I thought that I would write solely about my life on the spectrum to give others a chance to perhaps understand someone like me because I wanted/needed desperately to be understood.  I was ashamed of this and embarrassed that I didn’t have any real friends just drinking buddies who never knew me because I never let them. I never let anyone know me, even my own family.

It was the fear I hid behind: The fear of rejection, of ridicule, of others knowing what was really going on inside of me; how different I was. I hardly ever spoke to anyone.  I just kept writing in my little notebooks and reading and learning. Words were my friends, you see and I knew somewhere deep down in my buried heart that words would someday save me–if I would only have to courage to let those words see the light of day.

But I lacked the confidence, until only recently I had no confidence at all or courage or anything of merit.  I just existed and waited for what…I didn’t know, but I do know now. I waited for this; for a chance to be myself: hidden behind a facade of a fake name and the belief that no one would be reading my stuff anyway. The first month or so no one did, not many anyway, but one by one you came and you told me good things about me. You told me I was a good writer. You encouraged me.  You understood me and you didn’t laugh at me or make me feel small. I don’t know why, but you kept coming and reading and commenting. Some of you for everything I wrote–everything.  You didn’t mind that it sometimes takes me many days to return your comments. You didn’t mind if I didn’t make it to your sites all the time.  You just kept returning and as the months came and went some of you called me friend and then after a while I had to courage to call you friend because I’ve learned about friendship from you and this is spilling out into my offline life. I have the courage now; the courage to look others in the eye and smile and say “I’m really glad to see you” and really mean it. This is because of you my friends.  You saw something in me that I could never see before and I cannot truly convey how much I appreciate this.

This is like magic to me and now because of you and your kindness and acceptance of me I can finally see beyond myself to you and to others.  I have found that I am not so different after all and there are many people in the world who too are alone, even in a crowd as I was. There are a great many people who just want to be understood and to hear someone say ” I care and you matter”

It means so much to me when you say I’ve brightened your day or made you think or smile or even laugh. I didn’t know I could be funny. I didn’t know I could be anything or anyone at all.

You my friends have given me this gift and what a precious one it is, more valuable than gold and it is a gift that keeps on giving because if there is anything I do in this life it will be paying this gift back to anyone and everyone that needs it….and there are so many and I think really, sometimes we all do.

This desire goes beyond my dream to become a writer someday, this silly pipe dream to become the next J.K Rowling. That is nothing. Money is nothing. Notoriety is nothing. I am not alone anymore and that is something and that is because of you!

You have saved me and that is why I am thanking you.

Thank you my friends and HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

♥ Nancy

Mario wishes you a happy holiday too!

Mugwumps and Lexicons

“I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you’ve probably misunderstood what I’ve said.”
Alan Greenspan

I have been endeavoring as of late to expand my vocabulary.  After writing over one hundred posts I am coming to a point in the road where I keep bumping into the same words over and over and I am discovering what my regular readers probably have already observed: my vocabulary is limited, quite limited and if I keep using the same words as “quite” and “great” all the time will never be great and that is quite true.

I find I have ideas that are of a certain nature or complexity to where it is difficult to convey them with my limitations. I liken this to an artist who paints with only a limited palate. The world is much too colorful to interpret with my measly set of 12 childhood watercolors.

I am mostly self-taught. I didn’t pay much attention in school the few times I went to class.  I graduated by being a really good test taker. I thought I was clever at the time. I know how much I missed out…

I’ve made up for my lack of formalized education with a lot of unformalized education. I have consumed many books on many subjects over a twenty year span, mostly non fiction with some Sci-Fi as a sort of side dressing. I think this has helped and hindered me as a writer. I have learned an array of knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. I have never been forced to pick just one field of study; I have gone merrily on my way with only my insatiable curiosity as a guide. I believe this gives me a unique overview that helps me see the bigger picture of everything and how it’s all connected.

However, non-fiction books can get pretty dry, their writers do not usually use extra words. Most are attempting to explain technical issues and many are learned people with umpteen degrees.  It is the rare gem of a writer that can convey reams of information with the style and grace of a talented wordsmith.

Although life has forced me to read a few of the “Classics”, I have generally avoided them like the plague.

The few literary influences I do have: Shakespeare, Seuss and Poe do make for an interesting mix but beyond my inventing of them, I need new words. I am bored with myself and need a shake up.

I’ve been reading word power books and the like, finding the odd tasty morsel here and there. I don’t have to tell any reader of the English language that there are a lot of odd words. I am earnest and I am learning. (I can feel my vocabulary swelling as I write this.)

I am no Logophobe and I am embracing my new-found Lexicology with an ebullience that is so ebullient that I am close to exploding with new words that I cannot wait to use!

Words such as mundungus, muzhik and mugwump!  And other beauties such as musth and moxibustion!  My mind is swimming with new shades and hues.

Just how I will fit bad-smelling tobacco, Russian peasants and a great man with a Chinese method of treating various conditions by burning an herbal mixture on parts of the body together with a male elephant or camel in a state of frenzy, is beyond me at the moment, but I’m sure it could make for some interesting but, perhaps confusing reading.

“Take two, they’re small…”

I would elucidate, however; it is not unambiguous to me. I beseech you, please do not cachinnate at my personage.

As long as everyone is on board with that…

This reminds me of a colorful character:  Federal Reserve Board chair Alan Greenspan and his famous, or should I say infamous “Greenspeak“ a carefully rehearsed cryptic language described as an “indecipherable, Delphic dialect” and ” a turgid dialect of English” that makes intentionally wordy, vague, and ambiguous statements.

“… And so you construct what we used to call Fed-speak….I would catch myself in the middle of a sentence. Then, instead of just stopping, I would continue on resolving the sentence in some obscure way which made it incomprehensible. But nobody was quite sure I wasn’t saying something profound when I wasn’t…”

♦

(Greenspan in an interview with BusinessWeek in August 2012)

I could stand to be a little more like Greenspan, that colorful “mugwump”. I would know ALL the words and I would use every one in my quest to become the most successful writer of all time. HAHA!

(Stand back! I am mad with power, Wordpower!)

or should I say: Videte et Ego sum demens cum potestate, Verbum potentia!)

(By the way…I have also found Google translate!)

Sometimes words can get in the way of what you’re trying to say. Words can be distracting and detracting. I suppose there’s a fine line, Just like everything else.  Oh well, such is life!

Ĝis poste!

Strawberryindigo.

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In Search of Good News

I have been finding myself in deep thought as of late. Time has slowed down for me and that has given ample time for refection. At first this made me depressed, as life has been throwing some major curveballs that have been hitting me right in the face. As I looked around I found more and more depressed people…angry people, the worn out and the frightened. This only confirmed my suspicions that the world is going to hell and really anyone can see that. Some even think the end is coming. It certainly does appear that way…while I don’t think the end is near, I do think it is changing…and fast.

I think it can be unsettling to people…the conditions of the world today; the world at large and the world right down the street. It is overwhelming and it overwhelms. I don’t need to list it all here, besides being a significant undertaking it just spreads the contagion.

Contagion

Yes, I do think it’s a contagion, this crazy despair. The media feeds it with sensationalism. I can’t blame them, that is what they do and I suppose they are doing a fair job of distracting us from what’s really important…and there is much to be distracted by.

I feel a prevading sense of desperation…and fear in the air. It seems people on the whole are less hopeful for the future. It takes effort not to get caught up in it.  Is this how it feels to live in a civilization that’s in decline?

This I cannot accept….I feel the helplessness, the creeping unease, the feeling that you are in a boat with a hole in it and you better start bailing before the water gets any higher.  There are a good many souls on this boat, this “ship of fools”. And while we point the finger at each other and squabble over nonsense, the ship is going down. We know it….we can feel it sinking…we can see the now blatant obvious signs.

I want to hide in my garden, among the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and think lovely thoughts…I want to write beautiful words and pour my soul out on paper but the unease grows.

I pace and look out the window and a million ideas run through my mind; the good….the bad …and everything in between …. I try to record them all but they spill out into a pile on the floor and it becomes hard to focus.

Until I write and write and write. This unease disappears and I feel that in my own miniscule little way I am doing something.

I have been talking to people, some very smart people and I have been given all sorts of advice but one piece has struck a chord in me. At first it seemed so simple but as my mind ruminated on it the more I came to understand the deeper aspects.

I complain about the media and spreading the contagion of negativity and sensationalism.  I lament: “Where is all the good news?” Surely there are people out there doing good things…somewhere.   I ask, and rather loudly: ”Why aren’t we hearing about good news?”  It can get depressing to hear all this doom and gloom…

And as I lament, a wise person mentions that in some small (very small) way that I, strawberryindigo, the blogger, am a part of this same media that I, Nancy, the person complains about and then she asks me:

 ”Where is your good news?”

This has permeated me ever since…

…And it was there  that I stopped. That was about 3 months ago. I stopped because I was literally stopped in my tracks. This revelation set me back and it was this that told me to abandon everything I had written and focus on some happiness instead. It is easy to share one’s despair but it takes work to share happiness especially when you are not happy yourself. The world is unhappy enough for me to add my misery so, I chose not to finish or publish the above words at that time.

…and really, I didn’t have an answer…I still don’t in all honesty…but I’m looking all the time and I’m finding that sometimes it’s not the world that’s the trouble, it’s the way I’m looking at it.  I lament: where is the good news? where can I find this mythical land of good news.. and then like a flash of lighting it hits me.

It’s been here all along.  The good news is everywhere. It is all around.  I just needed to open my eyes…

 I found the following quote:

“Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
Desmond Tutu

Inspiring words to be sure. Simple and true and sometimes forgotten. I guess I needed reminding…

Goodness can come in many shapes and sizes and good can come from the oddest of places. I am finding the more I look for it,  the more I see. 

What I am finding so amazing is that this goodness typically starts out small, so small and slight that most of the time it goes unnoticed. These seemingly small gestures we do for each other from time to time, tiny interactions between strangers… there’s magic in these tiny incidents. This grows and spreads like a contagion.  We hardly ever hear of these small incidents of good, they are not sensational or exciting. Mostly they are mundane and seemingly unimportant but they can be quite beautiful.

All are important and important enough, in my opinion to acknowledge and tell others about it. This is the stuff of inspiration, this is the good news that I seek.

From time to time I will be sharing pieces of good news; real life stories from inspirational people I meet or hear about. I will be sharing with you happenings and events, tiny miracles and good things as I try to do a little spreading of my own.

                                            

 I have come to appreciate simple acts of kindness more and more.  I have found that we all need some kindness now and then, and in places we’d never expect we’d be. I am impressed by this sort of thing and I believe it is good news that needs to be shared.

♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥      ♥

Have any good news to share? Please let me know, better yet write a post about it and let others know too. Let’s spread some good news!

Peace and Happiness to YOU

Strawberryindigo.

GREAT

GREAT WALL of China
Credit: pingnews

“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”

Lao Tzu

Have you ever been stuck on a word? Have you ever used one particular word so frequently that it caused you any worry? Have strangers mocked you using that word in a public place?  If you have answered any of these questions with the word Yes, you must be like me and I am not so alone in my cheap and tawdry word addiction.

I’ll admit it right here and now. I will shout it to the rooftops…” I am Strawberryindigo and I am a wordaholic–my tonic of choice, my vice, the object of my obsession: the word “GREAT”

HAHA…  It is probably of no surprise to you; my overuse and abuse of the word.   It litters my posts and certainly my comments. You are so very nice not to mention this. You may have asked yourself at one time or another…How many times can one person say “Great Post”?

I’ll admit and everyone knows that Great is a great word. (That is why it is called that, duh) If there is any word to over depend on it is this word, this great word. It is positive and it is versatile. To me it sounds strong and certain of it’s place in the whole scheme of things.

I can’t help but think  too much of a good thing (or great word can be just that: too much.

GREAT WHITE SHARK
Image by © David Fleetham/Visuals Unlimited/Corbis

I know what you’re thinking right now… How can I be so impossibly brave? I ask myself that too. Perhaps it is the writer in me yearning to break free of the confines of convention? Maybe I grow bored with my limited palate of words? It could be that if I am to be any kind of writer at all I must extend my vocabulary.  Great just isn’t cutting it.

So I am asking you a favor…Please if you see me or hear me use that word–you know the word–THAT word, let me know in no uncertain terms that I am being a weak overdependent hack. Tell me this, I deserve it. We will all be better off this way.

Besides…

GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS

There are so many words I can use instead: Words such as…

abundant, ample, big, big league, bulky, bull, colossal, considerable, decided, enormous, excessive, extended, extensive, extravagant, extreme, fat, gigantic, grievous, high, huge, humongous, husky, immense, inordinate, jumbo, lengthy, long, major league, mammoth, mondo, numerous, oversize, prodigious, prolonged, pronounced, protracted, strong, stupendous, terrible, titanic, towering, tremendous, vast, voluminousable, absolute, aces, adept, admirable, adroit, awesome, bad*, best, brutal, cold*, complete, consummate, crack*, downright, dynamite, egregious, exceptional, expert, fab, fantastic, fine, first-class*, first-rate, good, heavy*, hellacious, marvelous, masterly, number one, out of sight, out of this world, out-and-out, perfect, positive, proficient, super-duper, surpassing, terrific, total, tough, transcendent, tremendous, unmitigated, unqualified, utter, wonderful GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA

WISHING YOU AN UTTERLY SUPER-DUPER DOWNRIGHT EXCEPTIONAL DAY!!!

Strawberryindigo.

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The Writer’s Lament

Hey you writers out there, are you like me? Do you long for days of uninterrupted silence? Do you fantasize about having hours upon hours of free time devoted to your only real love: Writing?

I may be the only one who’s so obsessed…and I am obsessed. I can think of nothing better than to tap tap tap my life away if only I had the time and the silence.  Oh blessed silence…can I be the only one who craves this silence?

I don’t have to tell anyone how noisy our modern world is already and the distractions…there are so many distractions. I get started with my tapping and before you know it, life rears its inevitable head and drags me back to reality for in which there is limited room for anything remotely resembling tapping.

Here I am in a rare moment, I have all afternoon and I’m set to write about one of my favorite subjects; Being Different in -The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge and then a million things happen and there is no time.

I am a mom and I have all the responsibilities just like everyone else. I probably don’t have to tell you this; we are all busy with our lives.  Most of us don’t have much free time and there is always some minor crisis to keep me more than occupied.

I admit that at times I can be hard to live with.  I tend to be lost in thought about something or another and there tends to be a lot of something or another’s swimming around in my half-crazed brain.  l admit I get pent-up and rather testy when I can’t get the opportunity to write…and like a junkie who needs a fix, once I get what I crave, I’m happy again. I do admit it’s an affordable addiction and who knows, perhaps all this craziness will pay off in the end?

I’m sure most writers and artists in general are a little on the obsessive side.  I mean I could name names but why bother. We all know this is true…and really when I get to think about it….even you; if you are any kind of writer at all, I bet you are a bit crazy too just like the rest of us…and that you know that I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I guess I should be grateful. If I had it my way, I’d probably tap tap tap my way to oblivion…..I would be going a mile a minute..faster and faster and then suddenly I would just explode: KA-BOOM!

I could see the scene now…my spent carcass slumped over a burned-out laptop, dirty coffee cups and piles and piles of printed word surrounding me….What a mess…

OOPS….

I guess I exploded before I could write my entry for the Weekly Writing Challenge:

…and now for something completely different….  Hey! That’s DIFFERENT–I wrote about not writing what I was supposed to write about and then I exploded!That’s DIFFERENT!

Perhaps that will do…

MUCH HAPPINESS,

Strawberryindigo.

NOTE:

I have been off “adventuring”and have been limited on time, that is why I haven’t been posting much. I am not AWOL.  This is only temporary and I will be up and running at full speed in a couple of weeks.

I look forward to catching up with our visits after all this is over. I will be back full of wonderous tales about my “exotic” adventures.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Stylish Imitation: Seuss to Shakespeare

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong  end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”
Dr. Seuss

I think my love affair with books and the written word started from the moment I held my first book in my chubby little hands.  They say you never quite get over your first love and my first happened to be the words and through them the imagination of the one and the only, Dr Seuss.

Theodor Seuss Geisel or Dr. Seuss as he was known, authored 46 children’s books and it was he that influenced me more than any one other writer.

Of course he didn’t write “The Great American novel”.  Most people wouldn’t use Dr. Seuss and great in the same sentence, but to me he was great.

The good doctor inspired me through his fantastic imagination and entertaining wordplay to become a lifetime reader and writer.  It was Seuss who said it was O.K. to be different and that it’s fun to embrace our own unique selves. It was he that allowed me to give childlike whimsy importance in my life.

It took me many years to realise this. As children grow to adolescents they tend to put away childish things. I was in a hurry to grow up and so The Doctor and his wonderful world of books sat on the shelf gathering dust until I had my own children and through their eyes I rediscovered his books all over again.  It has been only recently that I’ve noticed how infused with Seuss I really am.

It is a strange thing to admit but I am what I am and I really don’t mind if my sentences go on and on with lyrical rhyme and a rat-ta-tat patter…or how at times I will make up a word on the spot just for tricks. I have been known to repeat a word over and over because I like the effect. I enjoy thumbing my nose at convention. I think convention can be the killer of creativity and I try to steer clear.

I enjoy the sound of words, they way some roll off the tongue can be a thing of beauty. Other words have a certain look to the letters; a dotting of an ”i” and the crossing of a “t” in just the right place can be visually appealing.  Words are like spices to me; an almost infinite selection of different flavors and tastes. Some words can be quite melodic and burst onto the page in an explosion of color.

  In the lines of my writing I see Dr. Seuss and a smidgen Poe; I’d like to think perhaps a tiny bit of Shakespeare with a twist of Lennon. There are many contributors and I have benefitted from them all. Books have given me the inspirational words of people such as Gandhi, The Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh.  Science fiction’s  Arthur C. Clarke, Piers Anthony and Philip K. Dick let me dream.  Jared Diamond, Brian Greene and Micheal Pollan have made me think.

I think I owe some sort of thanks to Seuss and others who have molded and shaped me as a writer and a person as well.  We are what we read and we read what we are. 

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is more you-er than you!”
Dr. Seuss

What book(s) or author(s) have inspired you?  How have they influenced and shaped you as a writer? I would love to hear about it, let’s chat…

Strawberryindigo.

 

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How cool is this!

Weekly Writing Challenge: A few of my favorite THINGS

“We see things not as they are.

We see things as we are.”

The Talmud

Old and Unwanted Things

Here I am at the local dump amongst old unwanted things. The place reeks of decay.  It is quite the surreal scene and there is much action going on. People dumping this thing and that. Workers busily compacting it all; pushing it aside for the next dumpload. I am here with my sister. We have reached that stage in life when you end up going through and cleaning out your parent’s stuff.  It is a strange and bittersweet task that most of us will experience in our lives at one time or another.

We have a truckload of old junky things from the garage, nothing too sentimental or important; those things will come later, for now it is this.  My sister is a wonder of a worker and she immediately gets busy throwing things onto our assigned section of a giant junk pile.

The Joy of Destroy

This is only my second time here but I have begun to enjoy it. Yes, it is loud and stinky and full of garbage that the birds fight over. It’s not those parts I enjoy. It’s the throwing out of things. It is a terrific stress reliever and its a lot of fun. I love to take an item; a thing…whatever it is; an old wooden chair, a mangled wicker basket, an ugly old lamp, whatever. I throw it in rather haphazardly with thump and a crash and sometimes a dull deep satisfying thud into a pile full of other people’s junk. I am not a violent person but I do admit this act of throwing things out is exhilarating and liberating too.  At times it can be fun to break things…the sound, the feeling, the energy emitting from the very act. Molecules crashing into each other. My whole body shakes as I release piles and piles of pent-up stress and anxiety.

It is a rather freeing experience. All our lives we are taught to value and treasure things. It’s a bad thing to break them. Things are valuable.  At one time someone paid good money for all this stuff; these very things that litter this gigantic open air warehouse which sits on the industrial end of the city. Now these things are unwanted junk and it feels good to destroy them.

I start to feel good. The sun is out. It is a nice day and I start to forget why I’m here.

Reflection

This is a freeing experience but it is also a reflective one; all the while that I’m releasing all this pent-up aggression I am also watching myself throw out pieces of my past: the old white chair that sat in my parents room. I used to like to sit there, sing songs and talk to my Mom about all kinds of things when I was small about 5 and 6. It reminds me of those times…there goes my Dad’s old metal desk with a massive ka-boom!  I remember the drawers being filled with pens and rubber bands. I remember him sitting there writing, stapling things. I recall the smell that his adding machine would give off when he used it. It seems like almost yesterday…there goes that ugly green lamp. It used to sit in the living room of the old house. I always hated that lamp, now I think I might miss it. It’s strange. All of a sudden I feel like taking it all back; the desk, the chair, the lamp.  “I can save these things. I can fix them.”  My thoughts race. I never put much stock in these things before but now, now as I watch these pieces of my past, these things and they are just things…as I watch myself throw them out one by one…I realise these are moments I’m tossing out, moments with loved ones that I’ll never get back.  Now quite unexpectedly these things; these old pieces of junk have gained significance to me.

I admit I was tempted to keep some of that old junk but I didn’t. I couldn’t but I did keep something; I noticed it when we first got here. I had almost stepped on it.  It is an odd thing to see at a place like this.  A photo of a smiling and happy family. I don’t know who they are but it strikes me as lonely thing…this orphaned photo. Someone’s memories laid out there. Left behind. For some reason it made me feel better to snap a photo of it. To me, it’s like in some small way these people, whoever they are won’t be completely forgotten.

My Favorite Things

Since that day I have taken inventory of all the things I treasure most in the world ( my favorite things) and I’ve discovered that not one of them hold any real monetary value. These things I hold so dear, are representations of moments but it goes beyond that; to me, it’s as if a tiny drop of essence of the owner is left behind in the object. I can almost feel it. At least it makes me feel good to think I can.

One of my most recent treasured objects is a Buddha statue. It was my Dad’s. It sits on my nightstand. Whenever I look at it with it’s happy smiling expression, I think of him and I smile back.That feeling is priceless and could never be replaced by a million things.

Strawberryindigo.

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