Trick or Treat Me

I am at the grocery store and no one knows I’m here. I am about to confess my secret shame; I’m here to buy replacement Halloween candy. Somehow the bags of candy I bought for the trick-or-treaters has disappeared.

The bored woman at the cash register gives me and my purchases a knowing glance. I know she knows and she knows I know she knows but doesn’t care that I do know.  I grab my bags and get out of there.  I’m not proud of myself but…

Who can stand up to all this candy temptation at this time of year? Every time I go shopping lately to get “healthy” food for my family I am bombarded, bombarded I say, by store aisles all overflowing with bag upon bag of delightful Halloween candy–fetchingly decorated in the festive brown, black and orange of the season. I can’t be the only one who has found this whole situation a tad bit tempting, well…a lot tempting!

I suppose I could go out and buy all the bags of candy I wanted and eat it all in the parking lot of the store before I get home–as fun as that sounds–it wouldn’t be the same.

Okay.  I admit it. I am jealous of the whole thing. I am a big kid and I miss being one especially on this, my most favorite day of the year.  I love the whole idea of Halloween. I love the scariness about it, the ghosts and the vampires and monsters. I love the drama, the dressing up, the festiveness and most of all I love the candy!

I wish I could and I have yearnings to dress up in some wildly colorful costume,  definitely something with wings and cruise the neighborhood going door to door just like the other kiddies on Halloween night scoring free goodies and treats; delightful little bite sized bits of sweetness.  Why should the fact that I am a 44-year-old woman stop me really?

You never know,  I still look young…perhaps if I wore a mask and walked slumped over…I might pull it off? Why just the other day a drunk guy mistook me for a high school student…from about 50 feet away (it’s my shoes)

I wonder what people’s reactions would be to seeing a chocolate-crazed middle-aged woman in a fairy costume trying to pass herself off as a child to get candy on Halloween? Would they say “go home old woman”?  Would they laugh? Would they call the police?  More importantly would they give me candy?  And if so, how much and what kind?

I mean, so what?  So I want to get dressed up in some ridiculous get-up and go to strange people’s doors and get candy. I want to do this on Halloween; on this Halloween and all the other holidays for that matter.  Whew…I said it. Now you know.

I told you I wasn’t proud.  But it is what it is. I never really grew up and I really like Halloween. Of course, I’ve had my fantasies about this very thing while being a mom taking my kids out for years, having to stand at the foot of my neighbor’s front steps with a flashlight looking pathetic in the dark waiting to be asked if I want some candy too.  Or offered shots of Espresso and homemade donuts in some nice person’s warm and homey kitchen.

What about the adults on Halloween, what happens to them?  I know that many spend this fantastic holiday at various parties in skimpy costumes getting wasted.  I’ve done that, but these days throwing on a pair of butterfly wings and donning a purple wig while I gorge myself till I’m sick on candy really appeals to me–Right on!!!

Who wants to join me? The more the merrier….I know most of you do not live in my city but wouldn’t it be worth the trip?  Seeing me and weird Portland all while getting free candy…I’d let you treat me to a Chai Latte afterward.

Well that’s the way I roll friends. Will I really take the plunge and risk making a total fool of myself for some cheap thrills and candy? Or will I chicken out and return to the store for more bags of Recess Cups? Only time will tell…

 

Strawberryindigo.

Me in years past
Me in years past

I think if human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. Wouldn’t life be more interesting that way? And now that I think about it, why the heck don’t they? Who made the rule that everybody has to dress like sheep 364 days of the year? Think of all the people you’d meet if they were in costume every day. People would be so much easier to talk to – like talking to dogs. ”
― Douglas Coupland

 

halloween candy pile

Author: Natalia Ravenswiid

Pen Name of nmw

35 thoughts on “Trick or Treat Me”

  1. If you have fun and it does not cause trouble to anyone. I think as long as you are polite and genuine with your body language and voice, I do not see any one would mind. You may start the a new tradition. Instead of standing way back with your children, you also dress up and stand along side with them saying “trick or treat”. Have fun!

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  2. Halloween is also my favorite Holiday… In fact, I love it so much I got married on Halloween! So for years we’ve celebrated our anniversary by passing out whatever candy we haven’t eaten ourselves, and then stealing our daughters’ candy in the name of their health. Ha! This year, our “children” are grown and gone, and we are actually going OUT on Halloween. So, there will be NO candy in the house. I’m a little bit afraid I might go through withdrawals, but I’m sure the date Prince Charming has planned will be worth it. :>

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  3. Just wear your daughters boots…. that should do it! As for the candy. I’ve been on the road and haven’t managed to buy the loot for the neighborhood. Great way to avoid temptation, but I’d best not forget!!! 😦

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  4. Oh how I’d love to join you! I’ve never experienced trick or treating… so we could just tell everyone you’re helping out a European friend’s research on American customs! LOL! (PS I’ve always wanted to be “Wonderwoman”… do they make those costumes in extra large sizes?!)

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    1. Oh Cathy, that would be soooooo much fun! I think you would make a superb Wonderwoman! If you came all the way here Cathy, I’d do it! I’d do it on Christmas Eve–now that would be fun too! Christmas is so festive. You can be Wonderwoman and I’d be a psychedelic Butterfly princess! Let me know when your flight arrives… 😉

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  5. You are a cutey and you look great in that Zorro costume! I like dressing up and contrary to the ugly zombie trend, this year I will be dressed as Glinda, The Good Witch. My hair has been turning gray and I found an adorable white, blue and silver colored princess dress at Value Village. My friend gave me a lovely fake silver and diamonds tiara to wear. I have silver plastic boots for my feet and all I need now is to make a wand.

    Dorthy lands in Munchkin land

    Where I live there is no door to door trick or treat visiting. Subdivisions are far apart, there is no street lighting, and the topography is challenging even in day light hours (hairpin turns, blind spots, huge inclines & drops). But Halloween is huge here as there’s a 50 year long tradition of community parties that rock.

    I make candy and fudge for what we refer to as “The Kid’s Halloween Party”. But if one takes a close look at the amounts of goodies I make and how far ahead of time I make them then one gets the real picture. Hubby and I eat a lot of it before the big night when all ages get together to party and watch the fireworks.

    P.S. My hubby is being secretive about what he will be wearing and speculating is driving me crazy.

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  6. You and me both. The peppermint party’s vanish. I blame mice. Then the little Snicker square wrappers start showing up between the cushions of the couch. Stupid mice! Finally you figure no one will miss the Carmel Apple suckers.. I have such a mice infestation. On Halloween the lousy candy is left. Oh or bagging up baggies of popcorn.. There is always some one that does that.. Are they living in the 1920’s?

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    1. Oh Juan, You are so wise. I think I have a mouse infestation as well…oh my! 😉 I think I will have these visitors for at least till a week after Halloween.
      and the popcorn thing..I don’t know–I hate the people with the pencils and no candy or any foodstuff whatsoever–Pencils?! What kid would want a damn pencil? It’s an insult. The poor kiddies might get a case of low blood sugar from lack of candy and stab each other with the pencils.
      What a bizarre world we live in…at least it is not boring. 🙂

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