Jumping off cliffs

It is now that I sit here tapping away. It is way past midnight. I am snuggled up in my fuzzy purple blanket, drinking strong hot coffee and living in the moment like a breeze. For me this is one of the bestest and funnest things to do;  in words I dance in this moment. At times not knowing exactly which word will be…next…it is a journey of sorts and I tend to end up in places I never expect.

My mind is the octopus. The ship is logic. Let's see who wins out?

My mind is the octopus. The ship is logic. Let’s see who wins out?

My mind is like a hungry octopus, its tentacles awry, making a wild grab for this and that. Storms form. Clouds rush in only to be ushered out by shards of brilliant sunshine.  I am here amid swirling thoughts and ideas that play themselves out atop a blank page… it is here floating on this stream of consciousness where I feel fulfilled and engaged…so alive…huddled over a keyboard like a maniac, tapping away into the night…

“A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”

― Franz Kafka

There are many reasons why I write; the most obvious being that I generally go crazy if I don’t. It is an essential outlet to me. If I were the only person on this planet I would still write it…even if there was no one to read it.  There are feelings I have that would never see the light of day if I didn’t get them out in a such a way. In a way, writing is my friend….and at times in my life, my only one. It is a big part of me. I have allowed it become a big part of my identity.

Writing has become an open window to the world

I started this blog over two years ago with an idea. Simply put; I planned to be myself and write whatever I felt passionate about and see what happened.  Now 190 posts later I am a different person than when I started. I feel as if I have gone on a long journey and I’ve seen and learned much. I’ve met some amazing people along the way; others who share this wanderlust of the mind and spirit.

I am happy when I am writing and I enjoy the results. What blows me away is how others enjoy the results as well. I am the happiest when  I  hear that something I wrote brought a smile to someone’s face. There are worse things. And as dreams go; being a writer isn’t all that impractical, is it?

I feel fulfilled and enlightened and I feel my journey has only just begun…

The Grotto in Portland Oregon. Credit: SBI

The Grotto in Portland Oregon. Credit: SBI

There are so many more reasons not to do something than to do it.   All action brings risk but then so does inaction. Much of the time it is this inaction and the result of such that can be the most damaging and corrosive. Fear can cause one to freeze like a deer in the headlines and do nothing. I have been guilty of having this response for most of my life.

I can’t say that I’m not conflicted. There is the artist part of me that feels and yearns and all that. It is that side of me I have chosen to let dominate, at least for now. Then there’s the other side. The one that doubts, the one that looks over my shoulder at the cold cruel world , the one that sees the bottom line. The part of me that pays attention and knows how difficult it can be to make a living being a writer. It reminds me that in no uncertain terms; if one wants a job writing, one must make writing a job and go to work.

I admit it.  I am hesitant to want to make something I love so much into work….and really…to be honest, I’m scared.

I suppose a lot of it is the fear of rejection. Do I have what it takes to be rejected over and over? Writing is very personal for me. I put my heart and soul into everything. It is much more than just a simple act to me. It is something  akin to extraction. The possibility of a million rejections and then subsequent “failures” truly hits home here. In writing that’s where my safety lies. This is my safe spot that I protect. My soft underbelly.  Much of my new-found self-worth is found here in this freedom of expression. Perhaps it is here I will find my answer as well.

I am reaching a point to where my fear of inaction is greater than my fear of action…

There is this voice inside me.  It started as a whisper that’s grown to an insistent tap on the shoulder,  it borders on the desperate, begging and teetering on the edge of a scream…

There is never a better time than now…do it!

Jump off cliffs

One of my favorite writers, Ray Bradbury once said,

“You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”

Life is full of risks. without risk there can be no reward. Without jumping off cliffs, how are we ever to learn to fly?

I made a promise to myself that I would start submitting writing pieces in 2013, I have yet to do this. Now I’ll have to. Keep you posted. Wish me luck.

 

Strawberryindigo.

blue butterfly

“Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound.” 
― William Goldman

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38 thoughts on “Jumping off cliffs

  1. I am happy to hear that the need to go public with your writing is outpacing the fear of submitting stuff for publication. Your writing deserves a wider audience. You know from all of us blog subscribers that your writing is real and strong and touches people in both heart and mind. Rejection letters are hard to get and not feel rejected as a person as well. But all they really mean is that one person at one particular time wasn’t grabbed by what you wrote. So make 2014 be the year that you send your words out to the world! And promise to frame your first rejection letter – you will have entered a whole new chapter of the writer’s world!

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  2. You have such an amazing gift for writing. Wonderfully placed words like a painted picture, I enjoyed this entire post from top to bottom, keep jumping off those cliffs, you will strengthen those wings 🙂

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  3. Admirable Article. Really very much interesting, informative and well drafted.
    “Writing has become an open window to the world” well said.

    Life should be an adventure, to be savored from beginning to end. It is a game of constantly changing odds, constantly developing challenges, constantly opening opportunities.

    To win it, you have to play it. Sitting on the sidelines won’t do. Even after you have achieved all you ever hoped to achieve, please do//need not stop writing.

    You possess talented way of drafting I believe.

    All the Best.

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  4. Oh I do wish you luck Nancy – lots of it! Just go for it and maybe you’ll be surprised at the outcome. I love your writing, and believe you can do something great with it, so just keep at it and start submitting! 😀

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    • Hey Gunta, We’ll have a blast at The Grotto. We’d show those “Grottoians” how to have a good time. I know you are a trouble maker Gunta, so I hope you don’t get us kicked out the botanical garden and religious shrine. 😉 haha–just kidding… really, I can only imagine the pics you’d take there…

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  5. Woot! Go for it Strawberryindigo! I have been struggling with writing lately too, the fear and the lack of time lately. Loved the quotes you picked too: Kafka, Bradbury, and Goldman…Kafka had a point and Bradbury just makes one want to be more brave, take risk, do it.
    Well said and best of luck. Your writing has been something I look forward to reading–submit! Carpe Diem 🙂

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  6. Just do it. Most of the time, it will not be accepted. But I’ve started submitting things again and have submitted two stories this month. Just don’t worry if they don’t win a contest or aren’t accepted in the magazine. Just keep on submitting.

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