42 drafts…well 43 drafts sit here waiting in my to do box like faithful canine friends patiently awaiting my return. They sit in various forms of completion and come in all shapes and sizes; some are tiny puppies of a paragraph or two, others are stately Great Danes of considerable verbiage that lack a certain something, a doneness, something beyond simple edits and rewrites. I cannot truly write anything worthy before it’s time. The moment must be right.
And so as a result…
They are an ever-growing mass, these unfinished ones. They haunt the corners of this blog walking from room to room looking for something. Some whine for attention, others howl, most just sit there. As you have probably guessed, I have a case of chronic procrastination. I have always been this way; I start a multitude of creative projects only to have them linger in some state of incompletion. I am sort of infamous around here, at least at the little red house on 79th street, for having a million and one ideas that I never follow through on.
As time goes on this weighs on me more and more. These unfinished things represent this whole tendency of mine and along with my Asperger’s has served as my excuse for my holding myself back from participating in life. I’ve always been a terrific starter but a horrible finisher.
And there is such a multitude of business…my mind comes on like a radio with a half a dozen stations all competing for my attention. At times it can be hard to pick just one. One idea will give birth to the next. And one draft can easily grow into two or more. Many cousins akin to these drafts are finished posts which haunt the “pages” of this site.
I am a little person with big ideas. Lots of silly ones but others I think may be quite viable. My dream job would be to come up with great ideas for others to implement and charge them for it. I would keep busy in a glorious garden adjacent to a greenhouse with a big lemon tree in the center. Mario, my cat would be my assistant and we would think up great ideas all day while drinking coffee and having fun.
Seriously…
I am over 40, my kids are almost grown. Time is passing. And the time seems right to finish something I suppose. It has been three years since I began this blog; this “great” experiment. My 200 + published posts on this blog have shown me that I can finish something and something I can be proud of. I just have to buy into the hype I been selling: I need to believe and have faith and just do it…
Update: Well..I did it I summoned up the courage and submitted my first piece for publication. I don’t expect to hear anything, it would be a miracle if I did. I had an anxiety attack. I don’t know why.
It is a beginning…
~Nancy
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“Human life is but a series of footnotes to a vast obscure unfinished masterpiece”
― Vladimir Nabokov
*
Schubert: Unfinished Symphony No.8
Good you started…. take it easy….. no attacks needed over this…. hugs
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Thanks Ute. I really appreciate that. 🙂
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My drafts file has gotten so large, I need a draft drafts file. I totally relate.
…. and good luck with publication!
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I love that; a draft drafts file. I think i will start one. Thanks for wishing me luck. I need all the luck I can get.
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awwwww…. you’ll do great !!!!!!
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Congratulations, Nancy! I’m a terrific starter and a horrible finisher too, so I can relate. 😉
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Thanks Ruth. I’m glad i’m not the only one. 🙂
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The hardest part is the first step. I have many ideas, and I also procrastinate. The good habit is action, putting in the work to turn an idea into a reality. Fear of failure, perfectionism, causes anxiety and procrastination. I know that in order to become good at a skill, I will fail 99 times before I achieve my goal on the 100th attempt.
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Hi Alex, Very wise what you say and something I am finding to be true.
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Yahoo! wishing you much success! That first step is usually the hardest. I agree with Cathy. Hope you don’t stop at the one piece! 😀
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Hey Gunta, thanks for the enthusiastic support. I know that I must I keep on keeping on and not take rejection personally. It is a mountain yes but it can be climbed. 🙂
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Nancy you write from the heart. When you write I listen… Drop by and say hi!
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Hey Juan, thanks for the kind words. May I quote you in my upcoming yet to be written book? haha. 🙂 I will be by…
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Please do.. Cutting it all away really liberated me more than you can even imagine.. Living in a temp RV place in Santa Rosa….. Ahhhh
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I am very happy for you my friend.
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Awesome! Best of luck with the first draft. I hear you on the finishing project part. I struggle with it but am making slow nnot progress. The submission is such a great moment, hope they get back to you soon. 🙂
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Hey Niaaeryn, Thanks my friend, I will need all the luck I can get. 🙂 I’m glad I’m not alone with the finishing.
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Good luck with the submission . . . and just chuck those unfinished pieces onto the blog. You can even make the draft itself a part of the post, as in “This is what I am working on, but lost interest in . . . “
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Thanks Disperser, I haven’t given up on most of those pieces but I am thinking of doing some weeding and tossing a few in the trash.
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Brava! For submitting something for publication!! And when your children are off, you’ll have more time.
I can SO identify with you. All these ideas, all these starts. (Big box beside the desk. I’m afraid to count.) But since I’ve been retired, I HAVE been able to finish several things. I now have two books out. And I’m gathering together short stories for a collection. A few of them have been published. I’ll probably self-publish the collection through CreateSpace; it’s so much easier on the ego and the mind to just self publish. Best wishes!
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Well done, Nancy!!!! I am so proud of you for submitting a piece! Your drafts may not be canines awaiting attention. They may be the seeds that you must plant, out of which the finished pieces emerge. Not every seed produces a plant, and only a few seeds grow into the show-stopping tomato or flower. The point is that you are writing…(Have you every done the Myers-Briggs inventory? INFPs are knows for their stacks of unfinished projects. Our energy comes from starting and learning something new. Once we have it figured out, it’s on to the next new thing that is intriguing and different and engaging. Not a bad way to be in the world, just different from the goal-directed finisher types!)
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Hi Janet, My apologies on the lateness of my replies. There is no excuse really. I have been off in my own little world. Work has officially begun on my book. most of it is written in my head and it is “just” a matter of recording it….and rewriting and rewriting.
Yes I have taken the personality test and yes I am a INFP. Haha….amazing! You called it; I guess it takes one to know one. I am in fantastic company my friend.
I hope you are well. I will pop over to see you. I haven’t been visiting anyone. I am curious as to what you have been up to. 🙂
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Get those words in your head down on paper! The editing comes after the writing. Don’t EVEN try censoring and editing your words as you are putting them down. I am so please that you are committing yourself to this writing journey.
I’ve been in Paris for a week! Definitely one of those dream/bucket list trips. I fly to the south of France tomorrow for a week-long photography workshop. Hope my pics will be better at the end of it. Keep writing, my INFP friend!
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Well done! I wish you all the luck in the world Nancy! And hope you don’t stop at one piece but keep at it. You deserve to get published! 🙂 xx
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Hi Cathy. Thanks for wishing me luck, I need all the luck I can get. 🙂 Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your much appreciated comment. I have been on a “mental vacation” for a while. Just kind of being in the moment. (I think the heat is making me delirious, haha)
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