YOU are not alone and neither am I

 

shadow woman waiting dark

I have wasted too much of my life being afraid. Afraid of sharing my unique self with the world. Keeping my little jokes to myself for fear of someone not getting them, not getting me. Afraid to speak up, afraid to say anything at all. I blended into the background as best as I could. Trying not to be “discovered”.

I kept in my own little world for fear of living in the real world. And that is what that fear was doing to me; it was preventing me from living at all. I responded to events, I never initiated them. I never tried my best at anything for fear that my best wasn’t good enough.

Fear is isolating. It self perpetuates; feeding on doubts and insecurities. My fear kept me away from people, from getting to know anyone. Even my own family. I would don a placid and vaguely pleasant mask that I wore for the social events I couldn’t get out of.  I was labeled shy and thus ignored, and I liked that for a time… but as my life passed and I found it more and more difficult to convince myself that I enjoyed being alone in a crowd; never sharing my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my opinions. It never occurred to me that others could feel the same. I think loneliness has a way of making one think they are the only person in the world who has ever felt the way they do.

stars shadow lake night

Perhaps it was my loneliness which caused to to reach out.  I have discovered that loneliness is quite common, many of us are lonely. Some hide it well but it shows in the eyes. It shows in the constant seeking some people do; the restlessness, the looking for that something they can’t seem to find.

I have found that something and that is this glorious truth;  by reaching out to others, others reach out to you too. I have been encountering such beautiful souls…wonderful people who shine like the sun. Some of them don’t think they shine at all but they do and that light warms us all in this cold world.

We need more of this. This world is dark and cold and we need those special people out there, the quiet ones out there in the shadows, hiding…waiting perhaps for someone to notice them and beckon them out into the light. I understand you. I am one of you and you are not alone.

 

Contemplation

Part of me wants to shout out from the rooftops: I am here!  I exist!  I yearn to make a difference in the world!

(Another part of me wants to run and hide and blend into the background.)

This time I won’t allow it.  I will wear my heart on my sleeve and I won’t give a damn what some may think or say. I won’t let fear run my life, rule me. I won’t be afraid of opening my heart, my mind, of freeing my soul to something wonderful that I cannot yet see. I will free myself from fear…those of you who fear like me, you can too…

You can. Take my hand… We can come out into the light together and together we shine like a million suns…

 

shadow kids-in the sunset

 

Thanks for being there and listening. Thanks for reading my blog and for commenting. Thanks for accepting me as I am. My confidence grows daily.  It is through my writing and because of it that I can come out into the light and be the person I’m meant to be.  

 

~Nancy

*

The Beatles – Eleanor Rigby

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39 thoughts on “YOU are not alone and neither am I

  1. Brings tears to my eyes, and a “Me too.” I am socially awkward – either holding back uncomfortably or acting like an overgrown puppy. I am SO different from anyone in my family, I love them so much, but I have found they aren’t really interested in my inner thoughts. I keep it to a Facebook level of sharing, and they all live far away so when we do see each other it’s catching up on family events. That’s why I treasure the craft of writing – and this wonderfully supportive community. I can share who I am in my heart and some people even read what I write,lol.

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    • Hello Gerry,

      It’s good to know you can identify with this. It is because of people like you and me that I wrote it. Dumb me, took me so long…too long to realize one can change and break out of one’s shell. Writing this blog, now for 3 years has helped me beyond measure. This wonderfully supportive community made up of wonderful people like you have buoyed me and have given me confidence that I take out in the world beyond my writing.
      Thanks so much for such a heartfelt and honest comment. I am truly touched.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Posts I loved this week. | Taylor Grace

  3. I think loneliness also carries a stigma. Which is both unfortunate and strange, since I find it hard to believe that everyone hasn’t been lonely at some point in their lives. I have been there more than once; I am sure I will be there again.

    I am witnessing the courage + compassion + vulnerability + honesty in your post. It shines. You shine. Thank you for reaching out and for inviting others to join you. This was a lovely reminder that we are indeed never alone.

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    • Hello Elizabeth, Yes. Loneliness does have a stigma attached to it. It is as if it should be a shameful thing. The need for companionship is such an essential part of what it means to be human. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I am truly humbled and appreciative.

      Like

  4. Awesome post, Nancy! I’m finding the “time to my-“self” to be extremely beneficial in this season of growth and change for me. I do, deeply, understand the loneliness and fear though. Love this my friend!

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    • HI Rico, I think there is a difference between enjoying being alone and being lonely. I have been both so I understand the growth and change that can occur from that I think essential time with oneself. Thanks so much for your thoughtful insight my friend. I truly appreciate that, also for the posting on Facebook and Twitter. You are the best. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Cathy. You have been there since the beginning. You have liked and commented on every post. I can’t convey how much that means to me. You have such a warm caring and beautiful nature and I am so glad to know you. 😀 Thank YOU for being you.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Wonderfully written Nancy,you give a real insight into something i have had as well through my life and wondered why..is it only me who feels like that? A certain lady has made me see there is nothing to fear,and everything i thought that terrified me when i was younger..shyness,fear of talking to people, has faded now.The world is wonderful and mainly full of good people.who want Peace and love ,,that’s my motto 😉

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    • Hey Gunta. I would LOVE to meet up someday. I have a feeling that in the future I will have more opportunity to travel a bit and the first place I want to /need to go is the beautiful Oregon coast. We could tear up your town with craziness…or maybe have coffee, see the sights and talk-talk-talk. I think you’d be fun to hang with. 😀

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  6. What a brave and compelling declaration, Nancy! Witnessed and supported. One of the major gifts blogging gives us is the ability to reach deep inside, in our solitude, and speak our truth for others to hear and share. I think in general we writers are an introverted lot and the words that fail me at a party come pouring through my fingertips seeking companionship. Thanks for sharing and being here.

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    • Hello Revgerry, Thank you for your positive support. Blogging has been a gift to me. I have met people and formed friendships with others from all over the world. It has been such an enriching experience to share so much of ourselves in such a way.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I am very touched by your post!

    “I am never alone wherever I am. The air itself supplies me with a century of love. When I breathe in, I am breathing in the laughter, tears, victories, passions, thoughts, memories, existence, joys, moments, and the hues of the sunlight on many tones of skin; I am breathing in the same air that was exhaled by many before me. The air that bore them life. And so how can I ever say that I am alone?”

    Liked by 2 people

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