Taking back my Mojo

 

Oh how I stumble and bumble, oh how clumsy I have become. Once I glided upon air like a bird in flight. Now I stagger across a concrete landscape like a glazed-over drunk in need a cup of strong coffee to wake me the hell up.
Once the thoughts flowed out like chocolate cake batter; smooth, concise, beautiful. Words would combine to make a confection of sorts, an image, an idea, a feeling that would be felt by the reader. It was a gift I possessed or at least I though I did once…

Being a loner who was good with words I felt at home with them and would be able to convey whatever I wanted, It was so natural, so easy. I took this for granted I knew no other way …now I struggle for the right words , the right combination of them. It is frustrating, there is much locked up behind me ,  behind the facade; the face(s) I show to the world. I ache to use words again how I used to, I ache to be able to walk along the beach and listen to the ocean, taking in everything in that moment and giving it back to the world…in words..in images…making art of life and inspiring others to do the same…

This is not what I do know and I don’t dare call myself a writer, writers write, I talk about writing. This makes me a talker.

So here I am writing my first post in a zillion years, Stumbling over every word. Pissed at myself for allowing the excuse of not having enough time to take away from myself one of the greatest pleasures I have ever known.

Although I have lost ground in skill and effectiveness and definitely in refinement I have gained  a courage I did not know before. I’m not only able to grow a beautiful garden I am tough enough to protect it with my shovel and I will.

I have learned that one can stay too much in the middle and that my fear of offending someones effected my writing. It effected my creativity and it effected my effectiveness. While I could say something very nicely it did not make what I was saying very important. In that I have changed because I believe there are things we should stand up for in this crazy world. I am finished being afraid. I will speak my truth , how I see it and to hell with anyone who wants to attack me for it.

And with that I will bid my adieu for now, I think I have broken through, thanks for listening.

Nancy

aka

Strawberryindigo.

Taking back my Mojo. #Strawberryindigo

 

Author: Strawberryindigo

A starry-eyed dreamer and adventurer of the imagination. I am a feisty Aspie exploding with colorfully creative energies.

21 thoughts on “Taking back my Mojo”

  1. I am new to you blog. I like your way with words — for example, “Once the thoughts flowed out like chocolate cake batter; smooth, concise, beautiful.” This is delicious writing! I look forward to more…

    Like

  2. When you say “thanks for listening” I just want to say “thanks for writing.” As another lapsed blogger/writer/putter-together-of-words who thought I couldn’t make the keyboard clickety-clack very often lately, I know it’s important to take a break. Maybe the courage you have gained in your time away is exactly what your time away was meant for.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. To all us lapsed writers out there, all I can say is “just do it’ or is that Nike?
      Seriously I kept talking how I had no time, I still don’t but I am making time. Glad to be somewhat of an inspiration. I am out of practice; the words don’t flow as they used to. This is scaring me into action. I don’t want to lose something I once had, even if the act of my writing goes nowhere it makes me happy to do it and blogging is something I have really missed.
      Thanks for stopping by and commenting Jim , this makes me happy too and encourages me to keep at it.

      Liked by 2 people

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