Songbirds sing a song tinged with sweet hope bidding a farewell to the dark of yesterday’s night. The sun has not yet risen but they know it will, as do I. The clouds are strewn in patches across the sky. The sky is dark blue interlaced with an even deeper indigo that outline the tall buildings which are spotted with light. It seems every third window is lit with a warm and welcoming light. Each one reminds me there is a devoted soul inside who is engaged in some early morning business. I hope they will stop if only for a moment to watch the sun rise…and rise it will, just as it always does. There is a certain comfort in that. A certain knowingness that no matter how life changes there will always be some things we can depend on.
I hear the train in the distance just as I always do. It’s arrival is marked with a melancholic anticipation. The bike riders show up at the last-minute, their blinking helmet lights announcing their arrival. It is always this way. I sip the last of my hot tea and steady myself before we board the train. It is already half filled with early morning commuters. We are all silent. There are no smiles, no revelry. Some stare out the windows, some read paperbacks and a few others steadily tap away on laptops. Many start to drift off and some are asleep as we make our way into the long dark tunnel that starts my morning journey.
I take out my little blue notebook and start to scribble, recording my thoughts and dreams and hopes and schemes. I stretch my mind and explore my imagination searching for something profound or funny, but today I find nothing. …just the remnant of a song I heard earlier and the lingering doubts I sometimes feel about myself. Writing eases the lonely hours, this act keeps me from feeling so alone. It will be this very thing that will save me…someday…this I must believe.
The sun rises as we make our way from station to station. Yes It did come, this glorious sun! This sun we knew would come. I think of the songbirds back at the station I left far behind and I think of what awaits me at my stop where I will get off. I smile a little private smile knowing that someday this will be all worthwhile as long as I can just take it day by day…
It is dark and cold. The moon is a perfect crescent just hanging there in the very early morning sky as a reminder that the night is not through with its hold. I am standing at the train station, my new mint green travel mug is in my hand warming it and filling me with hot Jasmine tea. I look around at my fellow commuters. It is Monday and their faces seem to reflect that. I see many yawns and tired eyes.
I am, on the other hand, grinning like a banshee. I couldn’t be more awake. I am on my way to my new job and it is the first day. I’m sure in time I will become as lackluster as these poor other souls here; shivering in the cold, dark and lonely train station at 6:13 a.m., but for now I am too excited and definately much too grateful to do anything but wear a smile as wide as the sky.
The job hunt took longer than I thought and I don’t have to tell anyone that times are harder than they used to be. I am looking forward to getting a reliable income. Despite my extra long commute, I can’t help but appreciate this opportunity that I have been given.
I’m sure that you remember me complaining about money being tight in the past but now things will ease up a bit. I couldn’t be happier about it. I think the economy is turning a slow and steady corner and my good fortune is a sign of that.
I am taking the train. In reality it’s called the MAX. It is a light rail that will transport me to a faraway land called Beaverton. I am leaving my comfort zone of good old Portland for the sprawl of suburbia.
The commute is long but it will give me a chance to think, scribble in my little blue notebook which I am doing now and catch up on my reading. I am glad that I had the opportunity of working at home in the past but I am also just as glad that I am able to work out of the home now. My children are growing up; they don’t need me as much and I need to get out into the real world. I’ve lived somewhat of a sheltered life and to be a decent writer one needs to be somewhat worldly….for now my expanded world includes Beaverton, but this is not forever. I am even more determined than ever to make a go of at as a professional writer.
I am probably telling you all of this because I won’t be able to visit you as much as I’d like, at least for now….I will be doing most of my visiting on the weekends and some nights and playing catch up as I’m sure many of you do already.
I think my frivolous activities such as tweeting and playing Scrabble online will have to be toned done a bit but I will make blogging a priority. My writing and contacts with you are important to me and that won’t change even if as I take on the wilds of Beaverton and slowly become a corporate killer….haha. really…I’m just a grunt in an office. The job that I really wanted at the nursery was not offered to me and I had to go back to what I am experienced in which is office work., oh well. I guess one must do what one must do.
I am fortunate enough to be able to work in a nice place that is in the middle of a natural like area with shrubs, trees and fields of green. Just the other day I spied a hummingbird on my break; so things could be worse. I am thinking of it as an adventure and I am very grateful for the opportunity.
I’m sure I will have much to share with you over the coming months…
Have an excellent day!
“In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality.”
“Perserverence is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.”