Trick or Treat Me

I am at the grocery store and no one knows I’m here. I am about to confess my secret shame; I’m here to buy replacement Halloween candy. Somehow the bags of candy I bought for the trick-or-treaters has disappeared.

The bored woman at the cash register gives me and my purchases a knowing glance. I know she knows and she knows I know she knows but doesn’t care that I do know.  I grab my bags and get out of there.  I’m not proud of myself but…

Who can stand up to all this candy temptation at this time of year? Every time I go shopping lately to get “healthy” food for my family I am bombarded, bombarded I say, by store aisles all overflowing with bag upon bag of delightful Halloween candy–fetchingly decorated in the festive brown, black and orange of the season. I can’t be the only one who has found this whole situation a tad bit tempting, well…a lot tempting!

I suppose I could go out and buy all the bags of candy I wanted and eat it all in the parking lot of the store before I get home–as fun as that sounds–it wouldn’t be the same.

Okay.  I admit it. I am jealous of the whole thing. I am a big kid and I miss being one especially on this, my most favorite day of the year.  I love the whole idea of Halloween. I love the scariness about it, the ghosts and the vampires and monsters. I love the drama, the dressing up, the festiveness and most of all I love the candy!

I wish I could and I have yearnings to dress up in some wildly colorful costume,  definitely something with wings and cruise the neighborhood going door to door just like the other kiddies on Halloween night scoring free goodies and treats; delightful little bite sized bits of sweetness.  Why should the fact that I am a 44-year-old woman stop me really?

You never know,  I still look young…perhaps if I wore a mask and walked slumped over…I might pull it off? Why just the other day a drunk guy mistook me for a high school student…from about 50 feet away (it’s my shoes)

I wonder what people’s reactions would be to seeing a chocolate-crazed middle-aged woman in a fairy costume trying to pass herself off as a child to get candy on Halloween? Would they say “go home old woman”?  Would they laugh? Would they call the police?  More importantly would they give me candy?  And if so, how much and what kind?

I mean, so what?  So I want to get dressed up in some ridiculous get-up and go to strange people’s doors and get candy. I want to do this on Halloween; on this Halloween and all the other holidays for that matter.  Whew…I said it. Now you know.

I told you I wasn’t proud.  But it is what it is. I never really grew up and I really like Halloween. Of course, I’ve had my fantasies about this very thing while being a mom taking my kids out for years, having to stand at the foot of my neighbor’s front steps with a flashlight looking pathetic in the dark waiting to be asked if I want some candy too.  Or offered shots of Espresso and homemade donuts in some nice person’s warm and homey kitchen.

What about the adults on Halloween, what happens to them?  I know that many spend this fantastic holiday at various parties in skimpy costumes getting wasted.  I’ve done that, but these days throwing on a pair of butterfly wings and donning a purple wig while I gorge myself till I’m sick on candy really appeals to me–Right on!!!

Who wants to join me? The more the merrier….I know most of you do not live in my city but wouldn’t it be worth the trip?  Seeing me and weird Portland all while getting free candy…I’d let you treat me to a Chai Latte afterward.

Well that’s the way I roll friends. Will I really take the plunge and risk making a total fool of myself for some cheap thrills and candy? Or will I chicken out and return to the store for more bags of Recess Cups? Only time will tell…

 

Strawberryindigo.

Me in years past
Me in years past

I think if human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. Wouldn’t life be more interesting that way? And now that I think about it, why the heck don’t they? Who made the rule that everybody has to dress like sheep 364 days of the year? Think of all the people you’d meet if they were in costume every day. People would be so much easier to talk to – like talking to dogs. ”
― Douglas Coupland

 

halloween candy pile