I don’t have a lot going on right now so I have become my cat’s agent. It’s not what you think, I am not crazy or anything…it was his idea. He’s a very ambitious cat, a real go getter. It’s no wonder he’s famous here locally. And I guess it’s no wonder that his ambitions are leading him to bigger and better things.
He has spoken to me of his plans, well meowed them to me on many occasions, usually late at night after too much cat nip. He has dreams, that’s for sure but who doesn’t? I want to be a writer someday. My cat wants to be a star of stage and screen. I’m sure you have hopes and dreams too, so I know you understand that we sensitive artist types need to follow our dreams and thus I have not only encouraged him, I have become his agent.
A big part of this important and highly coveted job is the ability to think outside of the box, come up with excellent ideas and have the where-with-all to follow through. I pride myself on my common sense and intellect which I think makes me the perfect sort to promote an animal act.
9 Lives has Morris the cat who the company touts as the most famous cat in the world, that may be true for now but I think that Morris is all washed up, he’s out of date, I mean how old can a cat get? And those meow mix cats, all that constant mewing….cat’s don’t really do that.
What we need is a more realistic, more with-it , a now kind of cat. A cat for today. A spokescat that truly speaks to today’s generation.
That’s where Mario comes in. He and I both agree that he would be the purrfect choice to be the “The New Face of Friskies”
I know many of you have already been introduced to Mario, I also know a great many of you have joined his fan club and some of you have even attended a few of his lectures. So I don’t need to remind you of his magnetic presence, engaging personality, sharp wit and striking good looks. I mean who would be better for this?
“He certainly LOVES his Friskies and he eats quite a lot of it. That is why is he has a shiny and luxurious coat and such beautiful bright eyes.”
Now it’s up to me to convince The Friskies Corporation.
Realistically, I don’t see much of a problem there. That is more than apparent. Once the executives at Friskies meet with Mario they will be putty in his paws. He will be writing his own check and you can take that to the bank. He is bound for greatness and really there’s nothing stopping him….
…and this is only the beginning. First it will be commercials, then guest spots on popular TV shows, then maybe a little off Broadway and a few feature films and before you know it, he’ll be winning Oscars and I’ll be sitting at home like a bump on a log watching it all on the small screen and eating a frozen dinner all by myself while he lives the good life in Hollywood.
We’ve had long talks about this very thing. I am afraid the bright lights of “The Big City” will lure him away and change him forever. Maybe he’ll lose himself in a dark downward spiral of drugs and corruption. Maybe he’ll run with a fast crowd who’ll only want him for his fame and lifetime supply of Friskies (Seafood Sensations flavor, please)
He assures me this won’t happen and he does seem to have a good head on his shoulders, he is the smartest one in the house. I guess I can’t hold him back. I will miss the little guy but I know that someone who is that special cannot be kept back home on the farm….
…and so when I’m at home in a tattered old bathrobe watching The Oscars I’ll be cheering him on and I know you will too…he’s that kind of cat.
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