The other night I was talking with my son. He has just turned 18 and is thinking about what he wants to do with his life. He conveyed to me his doubts and fears; his concerns about how the world is. He told me he sees us humans as parasites and he voiced his concerns about how we are treating our planet and each other.
I listened and kept silent. I thought how much he sounded like myself in the past. A past not so long ago. These were things I thought before I decided to have children It was a choice I considered very carefully. There was a voice in my head that said; how dare I bring another person into this crowded planet? Who was I add another hungry mouth into this already hungry world.
Another side of me: The hopeful part, the ones with dreams, the one that believes in belief, said that it wasn’t up to me to decide. Who was I to discard a potential human life…even and especially, the life of my possible child.? Who was I to deny life to anyone? Who made me judge, jury and executioner? If this potential child only had a few years of life…even one year, one month, one second…who was I to deny that?
Who was I to deny his beautiful blue eyes just one sunset, one hug or one tip toe through the tulips. Perhaps this child would contribute to the world…perhaps in a way I’d never imagine; maybe this child would be needed. I thought all of this at the time, almost 20 years ago and all those thoughts and feelings came flooding back to me as I heard the words of my son. I understood his feelings exactly; he is an intelligent and thoughtful young man and he made some very valid points.
I saw the look of defeat in his eyes and a bit of anger too. I know that anger all too well. The world had already been “screwed up” before either one of us got here. It’s easy to feel hopeless and angry. I listened carefully to everything he had to say and then it was my turn…
Lately in my life I have found just the right thing to say but I don’t know actually what it will be until it comes out. This is quite new and I think it is all the writing I’ve been doing and I was very grateful for that because I found myself explaining to him much of what I just mentioned,about how I had thought carefully before deciding to have him and I told him how glad I am that he is here now.
I told him I agreed that the world is going to hell and how we’ve fouled up our seas and skies and land, and how all we humans seem to see is our differences…and how much we fight each other. I also told him how much hope I have for the future and how I believe that we have it in us to make this all right, and how we as a society can change things and how it all starts with one.
I told him how it starts with little changes and how it was up to him to be that change. It is up to him to make a difference in his little corner of the world. To find something near and dear to him and make a difference. I told him that I thought my writing was like that and if enough people make a small difference…how that could grow and spread.
I talked and talked; a lot I don’t remember, but I kept talking and as I did I saw the light in his eyes begin to brighten. He was listening and I could sense the lights turning on in his brain.
Then it was my turn again to listen: He told me of his interest in nature and teaching children about nature and sharing his love of it. He told me of his plans and as he did I could see his burden lifting and my heart soared as the corners of his mouth began to curl up into a wide smile.
I’ve never have been prouder of him as I was at that moment… it was very much like the moment when I first held his tiny body in my arms and gazed into his big blue trusting eyes of his; when I knew that I had made the right decision. I have brought another beautiful life into this world who will touch others with his beauty and how wonderful this all is!
We may be small and insignificant in this world and our actions may seem hopeless; a mere drop in the bucket, but I believe we together…drop by drop by drop, together we are a mighty ocean. Together we can do anything….even save the world! The first step is believing….. and it all starts with you…make your drop count.
Thanks for listening,
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.
I will be a hummingbird (youtube.com) Very inspirational! Please watch!
Saving the World (www.savingtheworld.net)
Saving the Planet (www.ideastosavetheplanet.org)