The Hide Inside

“You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.”
Haruki Murakami

I have wondered how it is to try to understand me when I sometimes do not understand myself. I have put up a barrier between me and the rest of the world. I can and do retreat into the small quiet place inside where no one can get to. I would hide there as a child whenever the world became too big, too bright, too loud. I would retreat there whenever my heart would break at the smallest of upsets, when I could not understand that there were things I just couldn’t understand. Whenever I realized no one understood me, I would go there. When I would do or say the wrong thing, this became my protection, my wall, my shell, my sanctuary. I have never let anyone in.

To be honest, there are times when I like it in there.

In my adult life, during the 17 years that I lived with an emotional abuser. I would go to that place inside myself. In my imagination I created a nice place in the sun on a sandy beach that I had frequented in real life as a teen. I would sit back and watch the river flow, listen to the birds and bury my toes in the warm sand.

This sustained me during the times I could not defend myself because I was not strong enough to even realize I was worthy of defense.

I seldom go there now; that protected place as my life has changed, I left the abuser and definitely I have grown stronger but that barrier remains, the bubble that protects, the facade that makes me seem just like everyone else.

It is only through words on this screen that I type to you through my keyboard that I am able to say this much. My brain is somehow connected better this way than verbally. The words flow right from the source, actually speaking words is not my best thing, but I try.

It has taken me forty odd years to find someone I feel a deep enough connection to not only want to share myself and my inner world with.It is a thirst long overdue sating.

I try to imagine the way I must come across to him. I don’t think he realizes how different I am with him than with other people. I know he knows that I can shut down, he has seen the blank look come across my face, he has watched me instantly withdraw, he has felt my body become limp. He has seen my at my worst, he has seen what I have been able to hide from others, he has seen the exhausted me that can’t speak, he has seen the burned out me that jumps at the slightest sound. He has never judged me or made me feel bad about who I am. He has held me tight and loved the pain away. He has loved me and has tried to understand more than anyone including my own Mother. I still can’t let him in fully and I still can’t tell him in words what I am writing here about I feel. This is a curse and a blessing to me.

It is said that Asperger’s is developmental and I do continue to develop everyday. I have worked on myself my entire life. Writing this blog has certainly helped me in an abundance of ways. I hope to inspire others in this way; you matter–you are loved –you are not alone–although you are special and unique there are others who feel like you–and you can change your life.

♥SBI

Just like you

 

I haven’t written much about being on the Autism Spectrum.  I’ve delegated that “discovered” part of me to the background, contained here and there in hints and asides and tiny blurbs on social media. Few people in my daily life actually know much about me at all.  I let very few into my world.

One could say that I have “passed” as an N.T. or Neurotypical; those who are deemed “normal” by society. I have been able to pass under the radar probably due to my generation and that I am female. There are many of us out there. We without an official diagnosis.  We that have practiced being just like we thought everyone expected us to be.

It’s not easy and I have fallen short. I have wondered why I have tried so hard to fit in. It is lonely enough being one’s unique and misunderstood self but another degree of lonely trying to be someone you are not.

I have been blogging for a few years and I have preached about loving yourself and being yourself and all the beautiful magic in that. I have dispensed this sugary drink without sipping it myself. I am guilty of being something I hate, which is a hypocrite.

I have hidden to the world, even my own Mother that I am on the Autism Spectrum.

I keep my tiny victories to myself; hoarding them to savor for rainy days.  I assume the world at large will not understand me. I hold a demeanor of reserve, a protective coating I have strengthened and shined it and relied upon it most of my life. It keeps the world out. It keeps me safe but in that safety, I have lost so much.

And time goes by and so I really haven’t done all these incredible things with my life. It seems that the basics have been difficult, if not almost impossible enough.

I am starting to see that I may not have all the answers and that I may need help and that often the best way to help oneself is to help others.

Maybe there truly can be a reason why I am the way I am. For the most part it is a gift; this way I experience life, from the smallest of things I experience pure joy and alternatively I can feel a deep sorrow. I hear a delicate song in the wind but the loud noises of the world make me feel pain.

I sometimes feel like a butterfly fluttering about a beautiful field of flowers, subject to the elements that tatters my wings, but yet I keep flying. In that tiny victory I have found I am stronger and more resilient than I thought I could be. Perhaps I am here with my gift for words to tell other butterflies that you too are stronger than you think you are, and yes you can because I am doing it now. Watch me fly and watch us fly together.

I am taking advantage of some rare free time that has blown my way by the mysterious winds of fate. I have been finding caches of goodness scattered here and there. It seems the bank of karma has seen it fit to shower a little sunshine on me.
I am resting and revitalizing and spending precious time with my loved ones, doing fun things
and doing nothing at all (which is underrated in my opinion)
It is too easy to get caught up in he day to day…
I am grateful to have this time to think, to write and to plan for the future.

~nlm

Related and not so related articles

 

The costs of camouflaging autism   

(Spectrumnews.org)

Why It’s Hard To Keep A Job When You Have Asperger’s  

(psychcentral.com)

Someone Saved My Life Tonight – Elton John   

(Youtube.com)

 

Photograph: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

It’s Your Trip

 

 

You are Magic

Never put limitations on what you can do, on what you can be. Society likes to put labels and limits on us; unspoken rules that can be and are being broken everyday. There has never been another you. Only you can contribute your own special magic to the world and this is your time.

Fear holds us back from being our true selves.  Fear of change, fear of making a mistake, fear of pain, fear of rejection, fear of nothingness…

There are many fears but they all prey on us in the same way. It is only by acknowledging them and shedding light on them that we can begin to attain mastery over them and thus ourselves.

There is a voice inside you that knows the way. It comes in whispers and innuendos illuminating the path with overlooked randomness and by intuition. Your heart knows the way. What the mind sees as a mountain, the soul knows is irrelevant.

We are all just beams of light. We shoot across the sky and play among the stars. Because it is all play. This. That. Everything. In whatever we do, we have chosen this particular ride, whether we remember it or not.

You are in complete control and you can wake up anytime you want.

You can listen to the voice inside you that whispers, that sings, that hums and sometimes screams. You can listen to this voice or you can go back to sleep and dream.

It’s up to you. It’s your trip.

 

~nlm

 

“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” 
― Alan W. Watts

 

 

The Serendipity Effect

 serendipity


 


rainbow art

Some say it finds you! 

Fortunate happenstance perhaps…good things coming by chance..happy accidents…

What is serendipity and where can I get some of that potent elixir?

 Serendipity is the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

 

Life is a fast paced, whirlwind of a trip with plot twists and turns, unexpected snippets of senselessness tempered with semi-predictable outcomes. I say semi-predictable because I am of the philosophy that we make our own destiny and that destiny certainly make us. We can prepare for and harness both what we can and cannot control to our best advantage.

 

It was Norman Vincent Peale who inspired us all in his wildly popular “The Power of Positive Thinking”

I have read this classic at least a decade ago. And it inspired me. Many truths are contained within the pages of books. Peale explains in this book that our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate.” I have taken this advice to heart…or mind, so to speak.  What we see and what we believe creates our reality.  Appreciation is key and what we think about what we already have taints whatever we encounter.  I never was always so positive as I am now. I’ve spent a great part of my life as a sarcastic cynic who believed that if I never believed in anything or anyone that I would never be let down.  I was ever wary, I had “seen it all”  I expected the negative and had no problem finding it.

I realized that if I wanted to change my life I would have to change myself and my outlook.  And I  decided to believe in all this, what I thought at the time was crazy mumbo jumbo because I really had nothing to lose.

 

We can recite platitudes, embracing their meaning but not truly believing in them. A lot of this stuff makes for excellent sound bites. We can sound cool and enlightened to our friends.  I known people like this who seemed to have something to prove by reciting every guru and free thinking wise person from Buddha to John Lennon.  Words can inspire but it’s what we do with that inspiration..

Serendipity is such a word.  It is inspiring, yes….

cat lady sunflowers friends pet
“Serendipity: Such a beautiful word describing the occurrence of events by chance. I like to think it’s the energy you put out into the world and the world returning your energy with love.” ― Steven Aitchison

 

I realize what I am saying may be construed as sounding too Pollyannaish  or too easy.  Real life is not like that. I know firsthand how damn ironically unfair it can be. I have found myself many times awestruck at life’s ironic unfairness. I could venture to say that a sense of humor helps but sometimes in life nothing seems to work and all the good thoughts and positive actions in the world cannot change that…

Ever have one of those days that start out horrid and end up atrocious?  No matter how well  intentioned and positive you are, you can’t win them all, no one can. That seems like a worthless platitude that doesn’t make anyone feel better. Truly it is only ourselves that can allow us to feel better.

 

Through our actions and reactions to events and nonevents we scatter seeds. Some get rooted deep in the ground long forgotten and some of those can seemingly out of nowhere erupt out of the ground and grow into something wonderful. It comes as such a surprise one can almost trip over it’s fantasticalness.
Serendipity isn’t what we find. It is not simply some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We can engineer serendipity by making something out of what we find, knowing this and then expecting to find it in the first place.

I could venture to say that positive thinking borders on the magical but it is not magic.

 

 

sun flower field sun happy nature

I think we can and do encourage serendipity by the choices we make, by our attitudes and by the way we treat others.  Put good out there in the world and with patience it will come back on you. Never stop believing, never stop putting your best possible foot forward.

I have seen people with good intentions try positive thinking and abandon it far too early expecting instant results. It doesn’t work that way.

Life runs in cycles, it ebbs and flows, no matter positive you are bad shit is going to happen to you. Conversely, so is the good shit, the trick is to learn from the bad and don’t take the good for granted…or too seriously. Goods things often take more than the power of positive thinking, no matter how powerful. Hard work,  perseverance and time with a pinch of luck makes the cake and when that’s topped with creamy optimism, the combination tastes like sweet success.

 

~NLM

people happy enthusiatic color confetti women

 

 

 

Serendipitous Quotes

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“Cultivate the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities.”
Gina Greenlee

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“Success is three parts hard work and one part serendipity; this serendipity is a direct result of the other three parts of hard work.”
Ken Poirot

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“The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.”
― Norman Vincent PealeThe Power of Positive Thinking

*

Related articles

SERENDIPITY was coined by Horace Walpole in 1754, inspired by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a fairy tale in which the heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”
SERENDIPITY was coined by Horace Walpole in 1754, inspired by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a fairy tale in which the heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

 

Engineering Serendipity  (Nytimes.com)

10 Awesome Accidental Discoveries (popularmechanics.com)

George Harrison – What is Life 

 

The Making of MAGIC

 

 

There’s much to be said for the way we look at things. Our vision is tempered by what we expect to see. Look for ugliness and you’ll find it, the same goes for beauty for both can be found in everything. It is the way we look at things which control what we see and how we see it.

We create our own reality. I know how that sounds; like some metaphysical mumbo~jumbo that seems profound and  wise but an idea that some of us may find difficult to grasp, myself included. Real life is the reality we live with every day. It can be cold and hard and can smack one right in the face.

If I had control of all reality…seriously…I would eradicate war, hunger and poverty, mean people and bad hair days too..all that stuff. Most of us would but that does not make it so. We can see the state of the world.  Who wants that? It’s so overwhelming and beyond anyone’s power and control but we can control some things.

And that is where the magic comes in…

 

Zenith_by_MescalineBanana art psych
“Zenith” By MescalineBanana

Yes…back on the magic. I realize you are sophisticated and have a certain sense of the world that is pretty much on target. I like to think of myself as an open-minded sort who is tempered with a fair amount of skepticism. I want to believe in Santa Claus and in unicorns and elves and giant talking trees. Do I really, truly believe? Perhaps not, but am I certain? Can I be 100%certain of anything?

 

unicorn random

 Any 

.

Any minute now my knight in shining armor will pop up riding a unicorn and whisk me away from my life of drudgery.

😀

Not likely…but I do contend there is magic. This I know for sure.

Magic exists! I know for I have seen it. It is all around us.

gratitude-zen-life-coaching hands magic

“It’s all a matter of paying attention, being awake in the present moment, and not expecting a huge payoff. The magic in this world seems to work in whispers and small kindnesses.”
Charles de Lint

 ♥

 LOVE is magic…so is gratitude.

Attitude is everything: We choose how we feel; happiness is a choice and so is dissatisfaction. Pretty much we are as happy as we make up our minds to be.  I have found this to be true after much trial and error.  There was a point in my life a few years back when I very much needed this to be true…

..and so on blind faith born of desperation I believed. I willed myself to believe and I didn’t stop despite all my wishes not coming true.  I learned that my happiness cannot be based on outside forces. I had to stop reacting to life and start acting. My challenges gave me an insight I wouldn’t have had before; an appreciation for perseverance. A willingness to go the extra mile without a promise of reward, the strength to carry on despite it all….and through all this I believed.

 

gold sunset ocean sea light glitter

 

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and MAGIC in it.
W. H. Murray

.

I am learning that the most direct way we create our own reality is by our own actions.  Action powers everything we do, everything we create, we are responsible for the kind of world we live in–all of us.

We can have a world where magic exists, we just need to create it.

 

art psych girl bubbles universe

I found happiness in gratitude and in taking pleasure in tiny things. Oh what a joy this has given me! It is a gift granted to me by circumstance.

 

 hands and moon

 

We can embrace these wonderfully human and magical traits like love and compassion, generosity, altruism and understanding. We can reach out to each other in friendship, our minds and hearts open. We need to stop paying attention to what we are told to think and believe and learn to trust in our own hearts and our own souls again.

These are natural inclinations.  Bring these into your life and miracles happen…

Magic happens…and it’s contagious.

Have a magical day!

 ♥

Nancy

 

 

web-of-lifeA-550 fantasy art

“When you’re touched by magic, nothing’s ever quite the same again. What really makes me sad is all those people who never have the chance to know that touch. They’re too busy, or they just don’t hold with make-believe, so they shut the door without really knowing it was there to be opened in the first place.”
Charles de Lint

 

 

Magical Related Articles

You Create Your Own Reality: Here’s How

Somewhere Over the Rainbow – The Wizard of Oz by Judy Garland

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole

 

Balloon flights in Turkey optimism sunrise happy sky

Aspire to Inspire

ASPIRE:  To seek to attain or accomplish a particular goal.

Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle Frenchaspirer, from Latin aspirare, literally, to breathe upon, fromad- + spirare to breathe.

To aspire is to dare. To dare to want more. 

Aspire is the desire to propel oneself skyward. It is born in the heart like a flame that burns hot with the passion of want. Dreams fuel aspiration. Passion drives it and hard work makes it so.  With care and feeding  aspirations can grow wings and set flight to all points amazing…

 

Mount-Haleakala-Hawaii

 

We are what we aspire to. Our dreams define us.

I have a dream; one I never knew I had until fairly recently. I found it huddled under a pile of forgotten hopes that I had neglected to remember I’d left it in the back of my closet.  I could exaggerate and press upon you this jive about a noble truth that propels me. I might confess a deficiency I have and this need to make up for what I’ve felt I have lacked in my life. The truth is I did not purposely seek this road.  In the beginning all I sought was my own salvation.

I had walked in darkness for many years and yearned to find my way back into the light. I knew fulfillment and happiness lives there but in the dark it’s difficult to see.  It’s lonely out there, at least it seems so…but I learned something important. I realized I wasn’t alone and there are others out there in the dark reaching for the light just the same as I… and not knowing where to find it. This simple truth eluded me for years. It is my truth but not mine alone….

By helping others we help ourselves.

It is tempting to take credit; to say that my stirrings to inspire are purely unselfish but the truth is; I aspire to inspire because it feels so damn good..besides I really don’t know any other way.

I have found that people who have struggled, who have fought something bigger than themselves…who have had life hurt them have a yearning to light the way for others, to say: “I’ve been where you are now and there is a light at the end of the tunnel…I know because I can see it.” 

peace friendship-63743_640

 

We all need help from time to time…

I believe greatness abounds. There is greatness in you and there is greatness in me but the greatest greatness lies in we. Our fullest potential is alive and well and it is just within our grasp. Sometimes all we need is a pat on the back, a smile and a reassuring voice.  Everybody needs this..no one is above it. It is basic. It is human and it is beautiful.

 

We are the content creators; the writers, the artists, the dreamers. We are a unique breed who yearn to inspirit and inflame others with that magic spark that burns so bright in our hearts and souls.

 

quote happy women

 

This wonderful planet of ours is teeming with inspiration. One just needs to know where to look and one need not look far. I have found much inspiration in the words of many of you in this wonderful creative community of ours.  Through your posts and comments I have learned so much!  Time and time again I’ve experienced firsthand that no matter how different we may seem on the outside, we are alike on the inside. We all need insight and inspiration from time to time and I have surely gotten this from you. Thank you for sharing your world with me.

 

 

Wishing you an inspired day

Nancy

woman sitting on rock sunset shadow contemplation

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” 
― Louisa May Alcott

SHY

 

shy girl

 

“My feelings are too loud for words and too shy for the world.”

― Dejan Stojanovic

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I have always been shy. There has never been a time in my life when I wasn’t to some degree or another. It’s not just that I don’t know what to say or how to say it, I am afraid to say anything at all.

It is embarrassing and what’s even more embarrassing is that it is so evident. You can’t hide shyness, it is tough to cover. The shy person may look like everyone else on the outside but on the inside he or she doesn’t feel the same.

 

 

me at age 6 001 eyes

I remember when I first started kindergarten at age 4. It was my first exposure to a large group of other kids and it was very odd and surreal to me. Everyone seemed so at ease with being themselves. They could move around gracefully whereas I was clumsy. They knew what to say, I never did. I couldn’t understand how they could know what to say.

This was so evident from the very first day. I didn’t understand. It was as if these other kids had been told how to act or if they just knew instinctively.

In my whole school “career”  I never spoke up.  I never raised my hand or even  asked a question, not once. I would willingly take a lower grade in order to get out of public speaking.

All I could do was to try to blend into the background as best as I could. Most of the time it worked. At other times, it did not.  From time to time some idiot would make it a point of drawing attention to me and my shyness by making stupid and sarcastic comments about it always within earshot of a crowd . This was horrible and it only drew me more inward.

 

 

 

 

 

As an adult shyness has held me back from life. I remember so many instances when I felt I needed to speak up, to say something but so many times I never did.  I just let fate and circumstance dictate the direction of my life and to be brutally honest; I haven’t gone far.

Shyness has held me back in life. It has been an albatross around my neck and I want this to stop.

I am better today but it has taken a long time to get where I am now and I still have a long way to go…

quote lonesome in a crowd marilyn monroe

 

 

 

Shyness is a prison. It holds its captive in a state of the perpetual outsider even with one’s own family.  A shy person rarely makes friends with another, it is the other who must make friends first. For two mutual sufferers of this affliction to meet and later become friends is a very rare and beautiful occurrence indeed.

woman sitting on rock sunset shadow contemplation

 

Often shyness is mistaken for indifference, aloofness and downright coldness. I know when it is happening and I can feel it. There  seems to be a wall or some sort of  invisible barrier between myself and everyone else. It’s as if it is written on my face,  this social awkwardness. I suppose that is why I am telling you this painful embarrassing stuff about me.  There is always that one in the crowd, the one that stands a bit a part from everyone else, the one who is always left out of the loop, the one thought unapproachable and unfriendly, may be a warm soul who would love to make a friend but just doesn’t know how.   Shyness is not a choice. I do not choose to be this way. It has stunted my growth and my life and as I scramble to make up for lost time at 44 and I feel the need to call attention to the plight of the shy person.

So if you see one of us out there trying to blend into the background wearing an insecure scowl offer up a warm smile or a simple “hello”. This sort of thing spreads. Insecurity and shyness are often go hand and hand. If you see something wonderful in someone, tell them, perhaps they will recognize it too and eventually in time it will be they that say hello to you!

 

We all have own strengths and weaknesses, no one is perfect. It takes time to get to know someone but it is well worth that time. Shy, not shy…whatever. It is healthy to want to reach out, some of us just need a little help on what may come naturally to others. No one wants to be left out entirely.   We are all human with human needs and wants including friends.   That’s all. 

 

 

vintage-friends beach fun madness

 

 Have an excellent day!

Nancy 

 

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“If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell” -that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”
― Susan Cain

 

Related articles

 

Pink Floyd – Outside the Wall (With Lyrics) 
Social Anxiety Disorder & Social Phobia–Symptoms, Self-Help, and Treatment (helpguide.org)

Your mountain is waiting…

 

“You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So… get on your way!” 
~Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

 

 

There it is. It looms large over me blocking my path, blackening out the sun and staring me straight in the face. It is icy cold and hard as rock and its jagged peak lies someplace beyond the clouds where I cannot see.  It sits outside my door haunting me…taunting me..whispering  “I am the way, I am salvation. I am the path to be followed and through me lies freedom.”  I can’t ignore it. I have tried that.  I have made excuses, I have lied to myself…I have even denied it’s existence but it is there just as it’s always been.

It is that very thing I think I cannot do that I must do. The very thing that blocks me. It is my mountain and it is mine alone to climb. No matter what I do in life, no matter what other mountains I may climb it is this one and this one alone that is essential; for by scaling its peaks I conquer myself and that can be a very steep climb indeed.

We all have our mountains,  some people seem to immediately recognize them and with no apparent effort at all bound right over them.  Most find theirs in time and slowly ascend and through trial and error, a  little luck and determination make it over the hump and on their way without too many bruises.  And then there are others like myself who for whatever reason have yet to begin the climb.

I suppose I am writing this for you, for us…for we that linger near base camp…looking to the sky at that damned mountain. Make any excuse you want. I think it’s fear; fear of the unknown…fear of failure…fear of looking like an idiot…fear of being myself…fear of dreaming, of risking, of trying and failing…of wanting and not getting.  Fear of not being enough….or too much. I have been hiding so long from what I thought was the world but in fact I think I’ve been hiding all this time from me.

And that mountain is me. It is myself that I must conquer.  It is all my faults and mistakes….my vulnerabilities that I must own along with the rest and it is those sweet bits of goodness that make it all worthwhile.  Many many years from now when I am on my deathbed reflecting back on my life it will be atop that mountain, wind in my hair, sun on my face and I will look down on all that was and know I did my best. And that’s all any of us can do…Stuff to ponder…

 

  Have an excellent day my friends,

Nancy

quote zen Mount-Haleakala-Hawaii     

 

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” 
~Andy Rooney

 

Mountain Sounds

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Of Monsters And Men – Mountain Sound 

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Led Zeppelin – Misty Mountain Hop – Live Madison Square Garden

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BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAINS – Harry Mac McClintock – 1928

Moments

 

 

 One moment bleeds into the next
Moment
Bringing with it nothing
Leaving behind nothing
Only existing inside this one fragment in time
Try to hold it in your grasp and its gone
With a whisper

 

woman with sun shadow

 

Life is made of moments, each one slipping into the next in an endless cascade that ripples like a wide sea. Currents toss us this way and that, we are passengers on a great journey, a journey through time and space; through the moments that make up our existence.

Our lives are framed by these fragments of time. We are shaped but what occurs in each frame in succession, each effecting the next and so on unto infinity or…?  What we do today creates our tomorrow. So much can happen in the span of a scant moment; each one leads us to the next and before you know it, time has passed. There have been instances in my life when one moment mattered so much. It’s funny; seldom do you have the luxury of knowing which of these moments will be that one until it is right on top of you.

We’ve all had those pivotal moments in our lives. In my experience they seem to occur in slow motion, every action elongated, every nuance multiplied. There is no time to think in these moments, seemingly so.  I suppose instinct comes into play here, our body has an intelligence all its own and can react before we can….our heart knows…

I  think for the most part at least part of us knows the answer on how to react or not react to life’s little surprises. There is a trust involved and sometimes we don’t trust ourselves when we should.  At least that is what I do. For all my advice and proselytizing regarding listening to one’s inner voice, I have myself at times ignored it and carried on like my conscience was silent… as if my psyche wasn’t speaking to me; whispering glorious and not so glorious truths in those quiet moments of reflection.

There have been times I have buried revelations behind a thick wall of willing indecision, trying to put off the inevitable…there have been plenty of moments lost to fear of misstep, misfortune or just plain falling flat on my face.

And so I hide from these important moments which require the important decisions. Maybe that means I hide from life too. Perhaps I pick the safest moments; the ones that require the least risk.

 

I know what I would say about that…

These are moments I will never get back. I only have so many.  It may be time to take my advice and not just listen but act.

Points to ponder as the moments pass…

Have an excellent day!

Nancy

 

 

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” 
― Paulo Coelho 

 

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Like a wanton criminal seize the moment. Take it. Make it yours to the fullest. Don’t look back. Yesterday is over and tomorrow has not yet begun, there is no guarantee there will be a tomorrow–neither exist.  There is only now.

 

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Related You Tube

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Van Halen – Right Now 
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Eminem: Lose Yourself   

The importance of being dreamy

Dreams are nebulous. They are intangible. They lie in the murky depths of our subconscious where they travel between various layers, blinking in and out of reality. Like tiny universes, changing and growing, fading and dying only to be reborn. They entertain us at night and manifest themselves as successions of images, emotions, and sensations that occur in the mind during certain stages of sleep. Our dreams tell us much about ourselves. They speak of our true nature and are a source of inner wisdom. They possess some importance but it is the other sort of dreams that are by far the most significant and it these dreams that will have the most bearing on our current lives and our future.

sunsets ocean clouds horizon dark waves photography skyscapes 1680x1050 wallpaper_www.wallpaperfo.com_17

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” 
― Edgar Allan Poe

It is the dreams that haunt us in the daytime; our hopes and ambitions. our wants, needs and desires. These are the ones we can direct and it is these that can come true…but essentially the power of dreams do not lie in their fruition.

Having a dream is much more important than having a dream come true.

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To dream takes courage. It means listening to what our heart tell us is the truth. Our own personal truth. No one knows this but us and no one but ourselves know what we can do if given the chance to do it.

To dream is to risk.  And the road to the realization of a dream is often a long and strenuous one. There are twists and turns and pitfalls along the way. To dream is to dare. To dream is to dare to want more than what there is. It comes from a part inside that can not only see what is, but what can be.

Dreams allow us to become more than what we are, adding color and life to life. They come from our heart’s desire.  They can be whimsical and beautiful, they can be practical or imaginative. Seldom at the time of their creation do they seem realistic at all and history is full of success stories that began as mere pipe dreams.

A dream realized can occur in a flash of an instant; in one dramatic and fluid motion. Life-changing events often happen that way. It is tempting to see these breakthroughs as occurring spontaneously and naturally like rain.

Dreams do not just happen, they are made to happen.

To follow ones dream not only takes courage but tenacity, perseverance and plain hard work. We seldom see the effort that lies in the protected shadow of success, but more often that not…the only way to having a dream come true is to make it true by never giving up.

Never let negative forces tell you “No”.  Don’t allow the words of others cloud your blue skies. Only you know what your true potential is.  You are more substantial than you believe. You have the right to dream. Dreams make us great and all greatness begins with a dream.

Do you dare to dream?  If so what is your dream?  Let me know, you are fascinating and I’d love to hear it.

Strawberryindigo.

saturday SunshineClouds3 cows

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” 
― Louisa May Alcott

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 I Have a Dream by Martin Luther King (short version)  (YouTube)

Dream a little dream of me by Mama Cass Elliot (YouTube)

We are allowed to wish (cosmicastaway.wordpress.com)

I believe in my dreams (ideasforimagine.wordpress.com)

The Magic of Youth

This post is designed to make you feel younger and if you don’t feel younger after reading this I promise to refund every penny you paid to enter this lunatic asylum.

What is eternal youth and how do we attain it?  This thought brings to mind Ponce De Leon and his futile search for the fountain of youth. This poor fool wandered all over Florida hoping he’d find this all elusive thing. A billion dollar industry is based on it. In our youth obsessed culture many are looking for this very thing; this endless and eternal youth. Well my friends I know the secret and I will share it with you now. You will be astonished and amazed to hear that just like Dorothy and her Ruby Slippers, you have had the power to go home all along.

Just what does make one young? How does one do it?  For me with each passing birthday I get younger and younger. So much so I will need a babysitter soon (or at least a keeper) and so what if there are enough candles on my birthday cake to start a 5 alarm fire?  It’s chocolate dammit!

I have found that youth isn’t on the outside..it’s on the inside. Youth is the way we feel and the older we get the more important it is to be young.

Would you believe?...this man is 96 years young...how does he do it? He credits a daily cigar, a shot of whiskey each and every morning and simply put; a love of life!
Would you believe?…this man is 96 years young…how does he do it? He credits a daily cigar, a shot of whiskey each and every morning and simply put; a love of life!

It is the joy of living that makes us young my friends. It is that intangible something that is born in our hearts and lives inside our souls. Youth cannot be found in a bottle or a jar of face cream. Youth is the happiness we derive out of being alive.

Youth walks barefoot in the dewy morning grass. It is whimsy and breathless awe. It is hope and dreams and fanciful schemes.  Youth is an ice cream cone with two scoops. It is fun and laughter. It is sweet music and tasty treats. It is cozy friendship and drinking hot tea by the fire on a cold winter’s night. Youth is tinged with the green of trees and colorful leaves. It is a red rose with soft petals. Youth is anticipation and excitement and trying new things. Youth is looking forward to tomorrow. It is the companionship of a beloved pet. It is kindness and warmth.  Youth is a boisterous red balloon. It is sunshine and a newly moved lawn. It is a tall glass of lemonade that packs a punch. Youth is a wide and open smile. It is making silly faces in the mirror. Youth is allowing ourselves to be ourselves.

Youth is chocolate and kittens and a good book. Youth is holding hands under the pale moonlight. It is hugs and tender kisses. Youth is watching butterflies flutter by and laughing at life’s ironies. Youth is love; love for the sake of itself…love that extends out to the whole world. Youth is forever!

It is that simple. It is pure and it is yours for the small price of just believing in it.

Forget what these naysayers say; youth is not wasted on the young. Go forth my young friends. Enjoy it!

Strawberryindigo.

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We are Young by fun (YouTube)

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Instant Now

The time is NOW
The time is NOW

In this modern world of the instant everything, patience has become quite a commodity. Why wait for anything?  Anything and everything is instantly at your fingertips…the world is at your command…at least it seems that way in this hectic fast paced treadmill we run on.

Hungry for “food”? Zap your meal in the microwave. Hungry for “knowledge”? Look it up online (Wikipedia anyone?)  Hungry for “love”? You can get that too (find your match for “free”) We are all so hungry most of us are obese in the Western world. In the US everything is supersized; the roads, the buildings, the people, our egos…

There is no reason to wait for anything, which is just as well. There is no time in which to wait. No one wants to wait but a little waiting can be a good thing. Waiting builds patience and tolerance. Not having everything we want exactly when we want it, builds character. Idle time gives the mind the opportunity to roam about and explore. Time to oneself can lead to quiet reflection which may perhaps lead to thinking for oneself. This once basic aspect in all of humanity is not as prevalent. We are bombarded with distractions and instant satisfactions all from a limited amount of sources. It is easier and quicker of course more economical to go with the tried and true…life is going at light speed and if you don’t get it together you will quickly be left behind.
Don’t stop and think, hurry along…

keep going it's grand

Our society does not appreciate slowness, consideration or thoughtfulness.
As circumstances in my life have forced to me to acknowledge and appreciate the concept of free time all the more, I am realising how essential it is to the spirit and well-being to have time to just plain do nothing. This sort of time is a rare commodity for most of us. Somehow many of us must conjure up from seemingly nowhere this mystical magical “free time”…while mostly juggling one obligation for the next, each one taking a chunk of our time….until we run out…

Are we but a cog in the wheel of time?
Are we but a cog in the wheel of time?

No wonder we are in such a hurry….
I have watched one minute go by on the microwave. The perfect time for heating up tea or coffee and I’ve noticed as the pace of life speeds up, the longer and longer that short little minute seems.
A minute is a long time….
Ever been put on hold?  Wait in line? Wait at a long red light when you are running late for work?
Given the right perspective, the matter of a few seconds can feel like an eternity.

do it now

The Societal concept of patience is slowly eroding. It is a muscle that needs to be exercised. I think a little waiting is good for a person and a little idle time and dare I say boredom, is a concept that needs to be embraced as a positive rather than a negative. When the mind is allowed such time for exploration it can and will go places. These are the times that bring insight and clarification.

keep time cog_eye____by_blamemybrain-d5z3nw0

I ran across the following quote;

“Why is patience so important?”
“Because it makes us pay attention.”

Paulo Coelho

flowers pink roses in neighborhood

When was the last time you stopped to smell the roses?

Or went for an aimless walk? When was the last time you simply did nothing for no reason in particular?

There is something to be said for that…

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~SBI

Related You Tube

Modern Times starring Charlie Chaplin on You Tube

POTENTIAL

apple-with-leaf

The untried, the new and the different….

You may wake up in the morning with one mindset and by the time you get to bed that night you are entertaining a completely different one.   I wonder how often this happens in life. I’ve noticed in my scant 43 years that change can happen suddenly; just like that. Life is full of these out-of-the-blue blindsides that help shape what we will eventually become.

Every situation we encounter in life has potential. The existence of opportunity is dependent on having eyes that see it.

For most of my life I have played it safe…probably more out of fear than according to any strategy. I would react after the fact, comfortably, out of the fray, never really trying…taking the easy way…which is easy but extracts a hefty price. 

Many times unrecognized potential lies there neglected, waiting in some dark and  dusty corner…waiting for something…some event…some epiphany or an aha moment to bring this potential into the light to be noticed and brought to fruition.

because…

Time goes by and your orbit starts to decay, it’s easy not to notice this at first…it’s dreadfully slow. Akin to the seep of the air out of a balloon..all those lost possibilities…avenues never explored…opportunities left behind…potential never realized.

Everything and everyone has potential. We humans have major potential, we as individuals and we as a cohesive and fluid group.

Life is full of twists and turns, detours and bumps in the road. It is how we react to these conditions is what makes us drivers of our own destiny.

It is easy to fall into a rut…a pattern that is maybe not as productive or happy or creative or whatever…it could be said that ruts are full of potential. Perhaps we should not see them as lows but occasions for positive change..

We are always in a state of becoming…we are changing and growing.  Every day matters and so do you. You matter and you have potential.

This very day has it, this potential for greatness and the wonderful unknown. Today. This very minute. Seize it.

This day has been successfully seized by Strawberryindigo,

Wishing you a Happy Day….

day in the life cherry blossom and blue sky

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” 

―    Muhammad Ali

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