The Comfort Zone

 

gif water flow

 

Change comes in starts and fits; it ebbs and flows along the river of life–always moving, flowing along…each moment bleeding into the next . The seasons change. Exuberant Spring quickly turns to lush Summer and then is gradually replaced by the deepening beauty of Autumn. I feel every part of it; this cycle of life.  It seemed there was a time not very long ago when life was eternally young. I was always in a hurry to get on with things. It was always “what’s next?”.  It wasn’t until I grew a bit older and became a mother; when I was able to see life vicariously through a pair of newer but different eyes, that’s when I realized the significance of these small seemingly insignificant moments.

Being a parent changed me like nothing else. The experience has shown me the importance of being there for someone. It has shown me the strength of love and the power of devotion. Motherhood made me strong where once I was weak. It was on a Winters day back in 1994 when I gave birth to my son, that was the day I began to become who I am today.

Where once I was a rebellious teen I become a resilient adult. I have never lost the ideals of youth. Sure, I have tempered my dreams with reality but I’ve never given them up and I never will. To stop dreaming is to stop living. And I plan to go on living for a long time.

fantasy bed forest nap Photo by Ditte Isager

I suppose one could call it hibernating; what I’ve been doing. I’ve stayed away from blogging and writing in general. I have been engaged in the “Art of Living”.  The day to day. The grind. The moment. I have taken a side job selling men’s clothes in an well-known upscale department store for the upcoming Holiday season. I’ve never done retail before and  am finding the change refreshing. It’s nice to get out of a lonely two-person office and out into the world of rampant consumerism.

Gone is the long commute of last year and replaced by a short 15 minute drive. Yay!  Time is too valuable to waste on a insane commute of 3 hours a day. My pay is less but I am much happier. For so many reasons I am much happier.

I am finally facing myself; my demons, my weaknesses, whatever you call them. I am finally getting my birdbrain out of the sand and I’m opening my eyes and looking around.  I am forcing myself to peek out from my hazy pools of imaginative avoidance, past the fairies and unicorns and the happy talking trees to the playing field below; the hard turf and rugged terrain of reality.

 

 Yikes!  But I am seeing the challenge and rising to it.

 

 

autumn mountains cloud sky by Lars

I gallop along; riding far beyond my enchanted kingdom into the dreaded realm that ‘s called “out of my comfort zone”. I’ve been visiting this place quite regularly and every time I do  I grow stronger and stronger.  It’s amazing what a little white-knuckled courage will do.  I have found through trial and mostly error that life forces one to foray beyond this zone. I would rather choose the circumstance instead of the wilds of fate deciding for me. This is the downfall of the procrastinator–something I know too well.

On my dresser sits a 3×5 card. On it I have written a quote by Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor and philosopher who opted to write his book “Meditations”  entirely in Greek and for his eyes only. It’s funny how at times the words you need to hear most come at exactly the right time you need to hear them., even when they were written two thousand years ago. Knowledge is timeless. But we mortals are not.

 

Remember how long you have been putting this off, how many times you have been given a period of grace by the gods and not used it. It is high time now for you to understand the universe of whom you constitute an emanation and that there is a limit circumscribed to your time–if you do not use it to clear away your clouds, it will be gone, and you will be gone and the opportunity will not return.”~Marcus Aurelius

 

 

These words and others have changed me bit by bit. My current course has altered and is flowing to what are  hopefully greener pastures. This growing up stuff hurts but it’s worth it.   Don’t get me wrong; the fanciful Nancy. The whimsical silly person who has fun wherever she goes lives on. The bubbly person that I have allowed to gradually blossom currently still runs the show.  I am still cultivating “magic” and throwing it up in the air like all that pixie dust. I, in fact, endeavor to increase the dosage.  The world needs it and frankly so do I.

 

sara and nancy halloween 2
My daughter Sara and I spreading some Halloween “magic”

 

sara halloween scary face

 

nancy butterfly halloween profile pic

 

I have taken it as my mission to appreciate not only every moment but every interaction with every soul I meet.  This sounds daunting and will require going out of my comfort zone more and more but as I do this comfort area will get larger and larger until it encircles the world…well, in theory anyway.  I will try. I will fall down and I will get back up, that’s all any of us can do anyway.

We have a new edition to the family. Spotsy came to us by a quirk of fate, by design or whatever.  He needed a home and we needed an extra cat so it all works out.  My daughter has taken it upon herself to see to his upbringing and Mario and I still have time for our long and reflective discussions.

Spotsy
Spotsy

 

I’ve started a new blog! Ta-da!  It’s all SBI but newer and edgier and more compact. It’s silly trippy fun. No long-winded dour reality here. It’s all for fun and it can be found here.

sbi serendipity

 

Go check it out and sign up for a dose of the lighter side of SBI fresh in your inbox. 

😀

I am looking forward to catching up with you so don’t be suprised to see me pop up over at your place. I have missed my blogging friends and I am glad to be back.

Nancy

bill the cat

 

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Moments

 

 

 One moment bleeds into the next
Moment
Bringing with it nothing
Leaving behind nothing
Only existing inside this one fragment in time
Try to hold it in your grasp and its gone
With a whisper

 

woman with sun shadow

 

Life is made of moments, each one slipping into the next in an endless cascade that ripples like a wide sea. Currents toss us this way and that, we are passengers on a great journey, a journey through time and space; through the moments that make up our existence.

Our lives are framed by these fragments of time. We are shaped but what occurs in each frame in succession, each effecting the next and so on unto infinity or…?  What we do today creates our tomorrow. So much can happen in the span of a scant moment; each one leads us to the next and before you know it, time has passed. There have been instances in my life when one moment mattered so much. It’s funny; seldom do you have the luxury of knowing which of these moments will be that one until it is right on top of you.

We’ve all had those pivotal moments in our lives. In my experience they seem to occur in slow motion, every action elongated, every nuance multiplied. There is no time to think in these moments, seemingly so.  I suppose instinct comes into play here, our body has an intelligence all its own and can react before we can….our heart knows…

I  think for the most part at least part of us knows the answer on how to react or not react to life’s little surprises. There is a trust involved and sometimes we don’t trust ourselves when we should.  At least that is what I do. For all my advice and proselytizing regarding listening to one’s inner voice, I have myself at times ignored it and carried on like my conscience was silent… as if my psyche wasn’t speaking to me; whispering glorious and not so glorious truths in those quiet moments of reflection.

There have been times I have buried revelations behind a thick wall of willing indecision, trying to put off the inevitable…there have been plenty of moments lost to fear of misstep, misfortune or just plain falling flat on my face.

And so I hide from these important moments which require the important decisions. Maybe that means I hide from life too. Perhaps I pick the safest moments; the ones that require the least risk.

 

I know what I would say about that…

These are moments I will never get back. I only have so many.  It may be time to take my advice and not just listen but act.

Points to ponder as the moments pass…

Have an excellent day!

Nancy

 

 

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” 
― Paulo Coelho 

 

beach-couple-sea-walking-sunset-love

 

 

Like a wanton criminal seize the moment. Take it. Make it yours to the fullest. Don’t look back. Yesterday is over and tomorrow has not yet begun, there is no guarantee there will be a tomorrow–neither exist.  There is only now.

 

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