The Great Unfinished

 

 

 

awesome_vintage_photos_with_animals_ girl dog

 

 

42 drafts…well 43 drafts sit here waiting in my to do box like faithful canine friends patiently awaiting my return.  They sit in various forms of completion and come in all shapes and sizes; some are tiny puppies of a paragraph or two, others are stately Great Danes of considerable verbiage that lack a certain something, a doneness, something beyond simple edits and rewrites.  I cannot truly write anything worthy before it’s time. The moment must be right.

And so as a result…

They are an ever-growing mass,  these unfinished ones. They haunt the corners of this blog walking from room to room looking for something. Some whine for attention, others howl,  most  just sit there.  As you have probably guessed, I have a case of chronic procrastination. I have always been this way;  I start a multitude of  creative projects only to have them linger in some state of  incompletion.  I am sort of infamous around here, at least at the little red house on 79th street, for having a million and one ideas that I never follow through on.

As time goes on this weighs on me more and more. These unfinished things represent this whole tendency of mine and along with my Asperger’s has served as my excuse for my holding myself back from participating in life. I’ve always been a terrific starter but a horrible finisher.
And there is such a multitude of business…my mind comes on like a radio with a half a dozen stations all competing for my attention. At times it can be hard to pick just one. One idea will give birth to the next. And one draft can easily grow into two or more. Many cousins akin to these drafts are finished posts which haunt the “pages” of this site.

I am a little person with big ideas. Lots of silly ones but others I think may be quite viable. My dream job would be to come up with great ideas for others to implement and charge them for it.     I would keep busy in a glorious garden adjacent to a greenhouse with a big lemon tree in the center. Mario, my cat would be my assistant and we would think up great ideas all day while drinking coffee and having fun.

Seriously…

I am over 40, my kids are almost grown. Time is passing. And the time seems right to finish something I suppose.  It has been three years since I began this blog; this “great” experiment. My 200 + published posts on this blog have shown me that I can finish something and something I can be proud of. I just have to buy into the hype I been selling: I need to believe and have faith and just do it…

 

cat face

Update: Well..I did it I summoned up the courage and submitted my first  piece for publication. I don’t expect to hear anything, it would be a miracle if I did.  I had an anxiety attack. I don’t know why.

 

It is a beginning…

~Nancy

 

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“Human life is but a series of footnotes to a vast obscure unfinished masterpiece”
Vladimir Nabokov

 

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Schubert: Unfinished Symphony No.8

 

Aspire to Inspire

ASPIRE:  To seek to attain or accomplish a particular goal.

Middle English, from Middle French or Latin; Middle Frenchaspirer, from Latin aspirare, literally, to breathe upon, fromad- + spirare to breathe.

To aspire is to dare. To dare to want more. 

Aspire is the desire to propel oneself skyward. It is born in the heart like a flame that burns hot with the passion of want. Dreams fuel aspiration. Passion drives it and hard work makes it so.  With care and feeding  aspirations can grow wings and set flight to all points amazing…

 

Mount-Haleakala-Hawaii

 

We are what we aspire to. Our dreams define us.

I have a dream; one I never knew I had until fairly recently. I found it huddled under a pile of forgotten hopes that I had neglected to remember I’d left it in the back of my closet.  I could exaggerate and press upon you this jive about a noble truth that propels me. I might confess a deficiency I have and this need to make up for what I’ve felt I have lacked in my life. The truth is I did not purposely seek this road.  In the beginning all I sought was my own salvation.

I had walked in darkness for many years and yearned to find my way back into the light. I knew fulfillment and happiness lives there but in the dark it’s difficult to see.  It’s lonely out there, at least it seems so…but I learned something important. I realized I wasn’t alone and there are others out there in the dark reaching for the light just the same as I… and not knowing where to find it. This simple truth eluded me for years. It is my truth but not mine alone….

By helping others we help ourselves.

It is tempting to take credit; to say that my stirrings to inspire are purely unselfish but the truth is; I aspire to inspire because it feels so damn good..besides I really don’t know any other way.

I have found that people who have struggled, who have fought something bigger than themselves…who have had life hurt them have a yearning to light the way for others, to say: “I’ve been where you are now and there is a light at the end of the tunnel…I know because I can see it.” 

peace friendship-63743_640

 

We all need help from time to time…

I believe greatness abounds. There is greatness in you and there is greatness in me but the greatest greatness lies in we. Our fullest potential is alive and well and it is just within our grasp. Sometimes all we need is a pat on the back, a smile and a reassuring voice.  Everybody needs this..no one is above it. It is basic. It is human and it is beautiful.

 

We are the content creators; the writers, the artists, the dreamers. We are a unique breed who yearn to inspirit and inflame others with that magic spark that burns so bright in our hearts and souls.

 

quote happy women

 

This wonderful planet of ours is teeming with inspiration. One just needs to know where to look and one need not look far. I have found much inspiration in the words of many of you in this wonderful creative community of ours.  Through your posts and comments I have learned so much!  Time and time again I’ve experienced firsthand that no matter how different we may seem on the outside, we are alike on the inside. We all need insight and inspiration from time to time and I have surely gotten this from you. Thank you for sharing your world with me.

 

 

Wishing you an inspired day

Nancy

woman sitting on rock sunset shadow contemplation

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” 
― Louisa May Alcott

Hopped Up on Writing

I have been invited by my good blogging buddy Cathy to participate in something called a blog hop. At first I thought it was some sort of dance. I have since learned it involves answering some tough hard-hitting questions about writing in a thoughtful, and meaningful way and then passing on the challenge…I mean “invitation” to the next worthy writer who I assume will hop his or her on way to the next contestant.   The topic is “Why I write”
Cathy is one of my most favorite people in the entire blogosphere. I have been following her since the beginning.  She writes in such a way that conveys friendliness and warmth.  Her site is beautiful. Her photos are lovely and her recipes are yummy.  I wished she didn’t live so far away because I would love to visit her. Besides having a great blog she is such a great person.
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Cathy from Words and herbs

So hop on by to  Words and Herbs and visit Cathy and you will see why I like her so much.

Also see how Cathy answered her questions: Blog Hopping: Why I Write

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the-star-sun
Before I get started with my questions I would like to introduce you to Steven Webb. He writes a wonderful blog called The Moving Road. Steven is a wonderful heartfelt writer who has a powerful message of encouragement all his own.  I believe he and I share a concern for others and a yearning to inspire people and say “Yes you can!”  You can also find Steven on Twitter and Facebook.  Go to his site and check him out and find out just how multi talented he is.   Once he answers the five questions and publishes his post I will put a link to it HERE.
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Steven Webb blog hop

I blog and tweet about the good stuff, helping people see things differently and overcome their own adversity. Join me on this journey” – Steven Webb

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And the funny thing is…
It just so happens that I had just finished being interviewed by Oprah for her magazine. Funny enough she asked me these very same questions (AMAZING!  I know) and so out of the kindness of her heart and she is kind that Oprah. She has allowed me to feature the interview in its entirety for you here today.
That sounds far fetched. Are you making this up girl?
That sounds far fetched. Are you making this up girl?
The Five Questions
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What am  I working on?  Besides the zillion and one drafts in my inbox?  My crazy mind has now engaged itself in the production of a feature length extravaganza in the form of a real life book. (yay!)  An escapist fantasy adventure that is now unfolding itself in bits and pieces into my eclectic imagination. The more I think of it the more it becomes real. At this point it’s practically creating itself; I close my eyes and watch it form.  I have pretty much erected the framework and now I need to fill in the details–the more I write  the more it needs to be written and the more I need to write it.
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How does my writing differ from others in it’s genre?  
I don’t have a genre at all in that I probably differ from most writers. Of the two hundred plus blog posts I have written no two are quite the same. I flutter and flitter around subjects and genres, styles and moods. Words are my paints in every glorious color of the rainbow, my brush slides and glides across the canvas,  and from it springs wide landscapes and broad vistas, from the tiny and seemingly insignificant to the giant elephant in the room. I try to capture that all-elusive truth with honest humor and silliness tinged with an underlying something that sneaks up and causes the reader to think or feel. That is what I aim to do anyway. I believe that any writer who wants to engage the reader must write from the bottom of their heart and the deepest reaches of their soul. Never hold back your truth.
Write what you LOVE, what you care about.
Write what you LOVE, what you care about.
I write what’s in my heart, what I care about. I write whatever is floating around in my silly imagination.  Slivers and shards of life maneuver and twist themselves into my writing. I wear my heart on my sleeve and on my blog as well.
The thinking of deep thoughts
The thinking of deep thoughts
How does my writing process work? Most of it is spent thinking and not writing at all.  Ideas form in my mind and emotions swirl around them. I take notes in one or more of the very many spiral notebooks I have littered all over.  From that I will compose on the computer allowing the words to come out. If I have the luxury of peace and quiet the words usually just flow out like water. It is at times the easiest thing in the world for me to do.  I wish life were that easy…(sigh)
From there I edit it and tighten it up, smooth it out.  MM helps with the punctuation, which I am lousy at. He encourages me to tighten up my long winded run-on sentences which I sometimes do. Then I publish it and forget all about it…then it’s on to the next one!
Of course the book will be different. Much more rewrite and polish. And the publishing part will be more involved than simply clicking “publish”. I’m going to take what I do best and work with what I have and that’s all any of us can do.
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I’d write anyway. Even if there was no one to read it. That is how nuts I am.
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Have a great day and remember to visit my friends Cathy and Steven.
♥ Nancy

 

strawberries-are-pollinated-by-bees

A Non Writing Writer

 

“A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”
~Franz Kafka

 

spider scream

 

How can I call myself a writer? I ask myself as I skip past my blog (this one) and head straight on to Facebook for a healthy helping of scrabble, inspirational gobbledygook, silliness and chat.  This has become a pattern as of late; a pastime I engage in to distract myself from the reality that I am a writer that is not writing.

I am stuck. Jumbled is the best way I can describe it.  A million thoughts vie for my attention; some are glorious, some are grand, some are damn insecure and most are unfinished. Just like my writing–just like me.

Time is a funny thing; when I was younger it seemed to be there was so much of it.  I couldn’t wait for it to pass so I could do this or that. There was an abundance of time and I could afford to waste it. So I did….and then life gets in the way…funny again how  THAT happens and so here we are and here I am in my mid forties and what have I done?  Not a whole hell of a lot…

 

…for myself anyway…for my dreams and my hopes. There was always someone first. This is not unusual. It is the reality of being a parent; sometimes your dreams have to rest on the back burner for a while. I understand that and I embraced the hell out of it, spending many years as a stay-at-home mom. You never ever get that time back and I am glad I was able to do it but this has set me back career-wise quite a bit.

 

I always thought in the back of my mind that writing would “save” me someday; from the reality…the drudgery of every day life…writing has always been my salvation.

I have spent countless hours alone; just me with pen and paper. I would pour my heart and soul out and never dare show anyone what I had  written. Writing was my only confidant, my only true friend. Every hurt…and every joy and everything in between was  recorded in one way or another.

I have grown dependent on this mode of expression to get my feelings out. It is like breathing to me and when I don’t write I slowly suffocate…

Once in a while I get blocked. We all do. Many, I think run out of ideas on what to write, this has never been a problem for me… quite the opposite.  I can think of a million things to write. My brain is like a radio receiver and most of the time I can pick up one station at a time and focus. This is the perfect spot for me; I am in “the zone” and at my most  happiest.
On rare occasions it’s as if all the stations are on at the same time. I can’t focus on just one.  I’ve learned not to worry at this point. I’ve been here before and I have learned just to walk away and do something else.

The words cannot be forced and neither can my passion. I have to be passionate about whatever I write or really what is the point? I am finding out. I must be true to myself and my convictions. I cannot sugarcoat my feelings or concentrate my focus on silly feel-good trite. I must speak my mind and not worry about upsetting someone.

I have been guilty of all of the above…and life is too damn short for this.

 

It is almost midnight. The back door is open and a cool breeze wafts in ever so slightly, my tea is warm and I am smiling–life is pretty good.
I don’t need all the answers. I don’t need to be perfect and I don’t think anyone expects me to be. So I’m going to focus on being me a little more and not being someone else. This Strawberryindigo thing…I don’t know. I may drop the silly name and be….me; Nancy.

I can’t force this, I think I will take life as it comes for a while and see where that leads me…

 

 

 

audrey-hepburn

Where is that? I don’t know but I do know I must keep on writing. It’s like riding a bike and here I am back on the bike baby pedaling like crazy.

I have missed you all here in the blogosphere. I feel like a kid who has been out of school for an extended absence and now I am back. I am out on the playground and it feels good to be here!

 

Nancy

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“Writers are desperate people and when they stop being desperate they stop being writers.” 
~Charles Bukowski

 

 

 

PS:  Whoever sent me the Kafka quote. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.  I want you to know that it is one of my favorites and so are you!

 

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Related YouTube

 

DEMONS by Imagine Dragons

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Liberace Typewriter Song

 

Fresh Quotes: LOVE RUMI

His words were simple and earthy. Words that came straight to the point, jutting out at odd angles, all the while meandering along the sandy bank, flowing along with the gentle stream.  Words that  reflected a quiet beauty; a oneness with nature conveyed in tiny jagged pieces that formed an exquisite mosaic of thought and feeling.

He wrote of love in such a simple and honest way and his words have inspired countless romantics on their quest to find their other half.

The general theme of Rumi’s thought, like that of other mystic and Sufi poets of Persian literature, is essentially that of the concept of tawhid — union with his beloved (the primal root) from which/whom he has been cut off and become aloof — and his longing and desire to restore it.

All the quotes that follow are his…

light-beings-norman-free rumi

Daylight, full of small dancing particles. Can you see them when I whisper in your ear? 

red candle

“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?” 

Tranquility field

 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field.

I’ll meet you there

When the soul lies down in that grass

The world is too full to talk about

soulmate love

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”

Love-eye-to-eye

“The most alive moment comes when those who love each other meet each other’s eyes and in what flows between them.”

love sun 888

In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”

 

w-sensual-Soft-kissing-Couples-Love-kisses-heartz_large

Lovers find secret places inside this violent world where they make transactions with beauty.

Reason says nonsense.

I have walked and measured the walls here, there are no places like that.

Love says, there are.

love snails art

“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.”

Always-Have-A-Dream-In-Your-Heart

Here’s to green fields and sunshine, blue skies ,timeless poetry and infinite LOVE ♥

Happy February

May this romantic month bring you your heart’s desire.

Strawberryindigo

mawlana_rumi

Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī , also known as Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī  and more popularly in the English-speaking world simply as Rumi (September 30, 1207 – December 17 1273) was a 13th-century Persian poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic.  Rumi’s importance is considered to transcend national and ethnic borders. His poems have been widely translated into many of the world’s languages and transposed into various formats. In 2007, he was described as the “most popular poet in America.

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  RUMI ( wikipedia.org)

Related YOU TUBE

My heart – Rumi

I Knew I Loved You ~ Savage Garden

ADELE – ‘Make You Feel My Love’

Entangled Hearts Red White Blended Background

 

The Key to Happiness

I am glad to be here; to have a go at it. I am thankful for my body. For eyes that see blue skies and my daughter’s beautiful face. For ears that hear birdsong, soulful breathtaking music and the simple but profound words; ” I love you.” For hands that write poems and plant seeds and make cheesecake. For a brain to take it all in.

love-kiss-silhouette-photography-background-hd-of-love

I am thankful for friends and family…for LOVE ♥

For peace and understanding, patience and tolerance and for generous hearts and kind souls.

I am thankful for good people who do great things, for smiles and ice cream…for chocolate.

I am thankful for our fantastic planet. For apple trees and hummingbirds and summertime. For cats and mocha lattes with extra whipped cream. I am thankful for the scent of roses and a newly mowed lawn, for thunderstorms and fireplaces.  For kisses and sandy beaches…for oceans and sunsets.

beautiful heart_latte_art by wikipedia

I am thankful for happy thoughts and good intentions, for opportunity and hope. For dreams and the tenacity to live them out.

I am thankful to be able to share all these happy things with such wonderful people…like YOU…

smile

I am thankful I have another day of life in which to appreciate and to know that this is

THE KEY TO HAPPINESS

There have been times in my life I found myself waiting to be happy; waiting for this or that to happen. I’ve found that I don’t need a turkey to tell me to be grateful and everything doesn’t have to be perfect. There is so much in this incredible world to be thankful for…and I am thankful for that.

Earth large

What are You thankful for?  Let me know?

Strawberryindigo.

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“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” 

― Maya Angelou

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Thank You by Led Zeppelin (YouTube)

Thank You by Dido (YouTube)

Jumping off cliffs

It is now that I sit here tapping away. It is way past midnight. I am snuggled up in my fuzzy purple blanket, drinking strong hot coffee and living in the moment like a breeze. For me this is one of the bestest and funnest things to do;  in words I dance in this moment. At times not knowing exactly which word will be…next…it is a journey of sorts and I tend to end up in places I never expect.

My mind is the octopus. The ship is logic. Let's see who wins out?
My mind is the octopus. The ship is logic. Let’s see who wins out?

My mind is like a hungry octopus, its tentacles awry, making a wild grab for this and that. Storms form. Clouds rush in only to be ushered out by shards of brilliant sunshine.  I am here amid swirling thoughts and ideas that play themselves out atop a blank page… it is here floating on this stream of consciousness where I feel fulfilled and engaged…so alive…huddled over a keyboard like a maniac, tapping away into the night…

“A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”

― Franz Kafka

There are many reasons why I write; the most obvious being that I generally go crazy if I don’t. It is an essential outlet to me. If I were the only person on this planet I would still write it…even if there was no one to read it.  There are feelings I have that would never see the light of day if I didn’t get them out in a such a way. In a way, writing is my friend….and at times in my life, my only one. It is a big part of me. I have allowed it become a big part of my identity.

Writing has become an open window to the world

I started this blog over two years ago with an idea. Simply put; I planned to be myself and write whatever I felt passionate about and see what happened.  Now 190 posts later I am a different person than when I started. I feel as if I have gone on a long journey and I’ve seen and learned much. I’ve met some amazing people along the way; others who share this wanderlust of the mind and spirit.

I am happy when I am writing and I enjoy the results. What blows me away is how others enjoy the results as well. I am the happiest when  I  hear that something I wrote brought a smile to someone’s face. There are worse things. And as dreams go; being a writer isn’t all that impractical, is it?

I feel fulfilled and enlightened and I feel my journey has only just begun…

The Grotto in Portland Oregon. Credit: SBI
The Grotto in Portland Oregon. Credit: SBI

There are so many more reasons not to do something than to do it.   All action brings risk but then so does inaction. Much of the time it is this inaction and the result of such that can be the most damaging and corrosive. Fear can cause one to freeze like a deer in the headlines and do nothing. I have been guilty of having this response for most of my life.

I can’t say that I’m not conflicted. There is the artist part of me that feels and yearns and all that. It is that side of me I have chosen to let dominate, at least for now. Then there’s the other side. The one that doubts, the one that looks over my shoulder at the cold cruel world , the one that sees the bottom line. The part of me that pays attention and knows how difficult it can be to make a living being a writer. It reminds me that in no uncertain terms; if one wants a job writing, one must make writing a job and go to work.

I admit it.  I am hesitant to want to make something I love so much into work….and really…to be honest, I’m scared.

I suppose a lot of it is the fear of rejection. Do I have what it takes to be rejected over and over? Writing is very personal for me. I put my heart and soul into everything. It is much more than just a simple act to me. It is something  akin to extraction. The possibility of a million rejections and then subsequent “failures” truly hits home here. In writing that’s where my safety lies. This is my safe spot that I protect. My soft underbelly.  Much of my new-found self-worth is found here in this freedom of expression. Perhaps it is here I will find my answer as well.

I am reaching a point to where my fear of inaction is greater than my fear of action…

There is this voice inside me.  It started as a whisper that’s grown to an insistent tap on the shoulder,  it borders on the desperate, begging and teetering on the edge of a scream…

There is never a better time than now…do it!

Jump off cliffs

One of my favorite writers, Ray Bradbury once said,

“You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”

Life is full of risks. without risk there can be no reward. Without jumping off cliffs, how are we ever to learn to fly?

I made a promise to myself that I would start submitting writing pieces in 2013, I have yet to do this. Now I’ll have to. Keep you posted. Wish me luck.

 

Strawberryindigo.

blue butterfly

“Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound.” 
― William Goldman

Trivial nonsense regarding high finance

Here we are in a dusty under used cherry paneled office with skylights. I am looking around for something in here and I really don’t know what it will be until I find it. MM hands me a book just out of the blue.

dictionary

It is a small concise edition of the very famous and widely popular Dictionary of Finance and Investment Terms by John Downes and Jordan Elliot Goodman. YES! That one. This book holds really no sentimental value to me, it is just here, a rarely used item from my distant past but yet this book compels me to open it and open it now..I know you are compelled too and want me to open it and I do and…immediately a feeling overcomes me: I feel funny; not unwell funny but haha funny and decide to make fun of this funny book that helps funny people in a hilarious world indeed.

Random can be fun as well so I decide to take random words out of this book and write a story using each and every word. This can sometimes get the creative juices flowing and what better book, what better time? It is a Saturday and I am the process of doing absolutely nothing; this is one of my favorites things not to do!

Pop!
Pop!

The first word is boring and typical but in the skilled hands of a good writer could be twisted and used to immense success; that is your standard RATE OF INFLATION. This is just what it states…the rate at which something inflates, as in…The Economy…some people’s egos or the number of weeds in my garden. I remember inflation from my youth…too much of it is like cholesterol,  it clogs the arteries…this is NOT fun.

dictionary English-hedgerow-augmented-reality-plate

…so onward to the next word, HEDGE.  It  makes me think of The British and World War II for some reason. Hedgerows are nice aren’t they? Perhaps I could write a story about a big fat flower bush. I really don’t have enough words for any viable ideas so I press on and open the book to a new and random page…oh lovely page 378…and the word is SHARK REPELLENT! Oh what luck! This is a good word. Shark repellent in the finance business is a measure taken by a corporation to discourage unwanted takeover attempts, never to be outdone by The SHARK WATCHER (it is on the same page and I saw it and had to use it. THAT is the name of , of course, a firm specializing in the early detection of takeover activities…sounds like a war and a war of the worst kind; war with sharks in it!

Great White Shark Opening Mouth

I am not making this up…the next word is ASSET COVERAGE. There could be a lot to say here.  I suppose you should use your imaginations on that…suffice to say…it’s something we all have to do from time to time and in the world of finance it has to do with preferred stock and equity positions.

I know you are thinking where is she going with this? I am wondering that myself, I suppose we will all have to wait and see what happens next.

My imagination starts to swirl with various ridiculous images and colors..a totally natural high brought about by the ambrosia of words mixed with the intrigue of high finance. My fingers tremble with excitement…could possibly be next?!

And then suddenly the room starts to spin and I black out– apparently the experience was just too much for me and I woke up several hours later with a slamming headache…   😉

Apparently my bubble burst and invariably whatever goes up…must come down . It’s just like that with that damn market...

 What a ride. I don’t have to tell you that I am laying off that stuff for a while….

Have a fantastic day!

Strawberryindigo.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” 
― Oscar Wilde

quote inspirational imagesCA8Q1BFG

Tulips and Sexy Speculative Bubbles (picturesinlivingcolor.wordpress.com)

MONEY by Pink Floyd (YouTube)

Stock Market Bubble  (theglobeandmail.com)

The Mad Artist

You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

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What is it that takes over one’s mind and compels them to create? Is it sickness? Or madness? What is it that runs through the long corridors of souls and haunts hearts with this need to make something where once there was nothing; be it a blank page or a white canvas…or a pile of wood…empty bandwidth or file space or…. just empty silence? Whatever the emptiness, it is the artist that yearns to fill it.

How does one fill emptiness ? I suppose there are as many different ways to create as there are individual artists. The nature of creativity is that it is centered in the new and the untried. There is always a risk to creation. It takes a lot of backbone to present ones work to be judged by the eyes of others, to be put up on display in front of the crowd…. it’s a gusty thing to do.

Art is definitely meant to be appreciated and the role of appreciator can be just as important as the artist. Art can be a group experience–community wide.  Art encourages more art…which is a beautiful thing.

L I F E   is   A R T

Art comes in endless various forms..shapes and hues.  It is a rich phenomena, experience, wonder…whatever you call it it..it is sheer delight. Art can awaken and excite the senses.

It can be exhilarating, scintillating, sensual even, but also fun and whimsical…it can also be deep and rich and sometimes sad..it is emotional and it is real. You can feel it. It is that feeling that makes it great art in whatever form.

Artists, good ones, anyway…infuse an essence of themselves into their creation; a small taste of their inner soul…the really good ones make you feel what they feel.

 

monarch-butterfly

Life is color…

It is vivid-intense, sometimes stark and sad, but a great bright and spirited thing with wings.

~N.L McKinley

sbi eyes new sepia

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” 

― Ray Bradbury

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It’s a mad compulsion, speaking here from experience. Writing is infused into me…I need to write, it is a thirst that is never quite quenched. As a shy child I spent many hours alone. Writing was my only outlet. I would pour out my feelings to paper, writing as fast as I could. I would keep everything I wrote and I never showed anyone.  Whenever I was happy or sad or confused my thoughts would go straight to paper.  I was never much for talking. I kept my feelings deeply contained inside me.

I still do write everything out. I have made the mistake in the past of publishing things perhaps I shouldn’t have. I am a sensitive sort and at times I cannot move past something without writing it out.

I can become quite testy when I don’t have a chance to write. I become like a caged animal; I pace, looking out the window. I get anxious and tense.  It is not fun to be around me at those times. I must admit I do have my dark moods but once I get at them by writing I am as free as a bird–totally unencumbered and at ease with the world.

It’s like I am a junkie who has just had a fix. I am never as happy as when I am in the middle of it all; writing away…fingers tapping, when I reach an especially engaging patch my fingers get faster and faster, the tapping gets harder and louder. When I am going at full tilt it is total ecstasy!

That is my personal madness and I claim it as my own. Are you a bit mad? Do you engage in a creative endeavor that demands your engagement? Tell me about your madness and we can compare notes.

Have a fantastic day full of loveliness,

Strawberryindigo.

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“You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine

Vladimir Nabokov

van gogh self-portrait-with-bandaged-ear-1889-1.jpg!Blog

Famous Artists a to z

(biography.com)

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 A brief history of mental illness in art (scientificamerican.com)

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Artist Paints by Snorting Colors Then Crying Them Onto a Canvas (newsfeed.time.com)

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Shameless Self-promoting by Me

eyes-sbi

“All writers are lunatics!”

~Cornelia Funke

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This may come as a surprise to some of you by what I write here but in real life I am a quiet and reserved person. For much of my life I have been accused of being shy.   I do prefer to stay in the background, carefully observing my surroundings. I am not much of a talker, definitely not a speaker of any sort.  I am however a writer and at times writers need to be loudmouths to ever be heard.  Networking and making connections is essential. This has been bothering me. I would prefer to stay in the background writing away, visiting with my blog and Facebook friends, never venturing outside my comfort zone, but venture I must and so here it is.

I have been invited to write as a guest on another blog called Share Your Articles. It is managed by a new friend of mine. We seem to see eye to eye on such things as self promotion and I have taken him up on his offer. I will be contributing a new and unique article from time to time depending on how much time I have.  My priority remains with you; in this blog, My Life in Color.  I will continue to pour my heart out here…haha lucky you!

I have checked it out and there are many other competent writers there and I recommend them highly. You can find a link to the site here. I hope to see you there. Please come out and support your friendly neighborhood blogger; namely me.  I would truly appreciate it.

My first article is called New Eyes. It is a hopeful one and I am on my best behavior, at least I will be for now… (wink-wink)

 

While I am on the subject of self-promotion; I would like to tell you about my 100% All Organic Strawberryindigo page on Facebook. I know many of you are not on Facebook but give it a try. We could chat there. I write some odds and ends, little bits, quotes and  I post interesting articles and links to subjects pertaining to the environment, gardening, social issues and fun stuff too. I am still me being myself over there and my heart is definitely on my sleeve. It is a bit more relaxed and I certainly let my hair down. Please stop by and pay me a visit if you are so inclined. Feel free to post something of your own. I am pretty much on my own over there, it is sort of cavernous and a tad lonely. I would love to hear what you think of it.

Before I sign off take a gander at my new revved up About the Author page. It was about time. It had remained unchanged since the beginning and needed updating. As you might have noticed I have also updated my Gravatar. It is me, older, more wrinkled but happier.

Well enough about me…how are you? How is everything going? Please let me know. I also wanted to add that I have a new email and if you want to contact me privately for whatever reason; drop me a line at Strawberryindigo@gmail.com.

Thanks for listening, 

Strawberryindigo.

strawberry smile

 

 

9-29-13

UPDATE:  I will no  longer be writing for that other site.  The person who runs the site became very intrusive in my online life (sort of a creepy internet stalker) and so I thought it best to erase my presence there.  I am a trusting sort I suppose, but I will not allow this experience to change that.

What follows is NEW EYES

 

facebook engancha
facebook engancha (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

New Eyes

 

It was one of those bright mornings that come after a night of hard rain. Drops of moisture decorate the scarlet-colored Maple leaves on the tree outside my window, shining like diamonds in the first few rays of the new day’s sun. I have always loved mornings such as these.  The streets have been washed clean by the rain; everything is so fresh and new. The chickadees outside my window sing an expectant song tinged with sweet exuberance.

It is just another morning just like many others. The newspaper arrives just as it always does with a dull thud at the front door. My morning coffee is the same brand I’ve been drinking for months but somehow it tastes better on this day.

Today will be a most wondrous day” I tell myself out loud. I am surprised at hearing my voice speaking to myself this way. My voice sounds hopeful, younger somehow, sweeter.

 

I gaze into the mirror; the very same reflection returns my gaze. The same rounded face with the same sleepy half-lidded stare stares right back, but somehow my too- brown brown eyes look unusually brighter, almost optimistic. I smile and am rewarded with another smile that appears almost beaming.

 

It is as if I am seeing the world with new eyes. New eyes flecked with glimmering green; new eyes that see promise in a seemingly just typical day.

Perhaps this day is not so typical in a string of so many so typical days. Perhaps something special will happen today. Perhaps it is more than just the sunshine or the birds that are making me feel this way.  Perhaps it is my new eyes.

Could it be these new eyes are seeing the endless possibilities that lie open before me? Could it be it is these new eyes that see that the long road of life’s difficulties could be opportunities in disguise?…or maybe it’s the way I’ve been looking at things without ever truly seeing, perhaps my new-found hope came from my inside and these new eyes are just the old ones peering at life from a different angle; from a new direction. Perhaps this wondrous day that lies before me is just like the string of others that came before it?

Perhaps it isn’t new eyes I have, just a new way of seeing.

 

Peace and Love to You,

Strawberryindigo.

***Links and Stuff***

New Eyes (The first post by me on Share Your Articles)

Share Your Articles (The blog)

100% All Organic Strawberryindigo  (My Facebook page)

About the Author (that’s me)

Seven Truths of Random

The all-knowing eye that knows all
The all-knowing eye that knows all

Today I was swimming in the creative juices of my fellow bloggers (please don’t picture this) in the deep end of my reader pool when I ran across the daily post’s daily prompt. I usually skip this as I am usually full of ideas, but this one called to me.  It suggested I write down ten words off the top of my head, pick three, make that my title and write about it.

What an excellent and intriguing exercise.” I said out loud to myself. ( I talk to myself a lot, think of THAT what you will)  but anyway, to go back to what I was saying: I thought what a great, um… I mean… ‘What an excellent and intriguing exercise.” And do I ever need exercise. I admit that my writing muscles have grown somewhat flabby lately, perhaps it’s the heat.  I don’t know but this idea by the fantastic people over there at the Daily Post got me going. I immediately made out my list of ten words off the top of my head.

  1. Random
  2. Mind
  3. Spirit
  4. Body
  5. Money
  6. Choice
  7. Seven
  8. Truths
  9. Time
  10. Destination
The thinking of deep thoughts
The thinking of deep thoughts

As you can see I have a lot on my mind.  Oh what a wealth of interesting subjects to write on I said to myself.  (See how deep I am.)   I was set to write all kinds of deep stuff.  Fantastic thoughts and wonderful ideas swirled in my mind. So many that I became dizzy just thinking about them. “This is exciting!” I said to myself ( I told you I talk to myself a lot.) This is a chance to show everyone how really hip and happening I am. How I’m so smart and oh so deep.  I gazed fondly at my ten words….

Which three to pick?  I knew right away random would be one of them…I mean random is so well…random.

I have been reading this book on innovation; “Where Good Ideas Come From.” The author brings up the valid point that many good ideas come not from one individual mind dreaming up them up, sitting alone in a room and thinking-thinking-thinking…many if not most good ideas come from a collective of minds.  A community. This brings to mind the community of bloggers here at WordPress and beyond.

This is an enriching  place, this blogoverse. I will read some posts and get instantly inspired. I have had the luck, foresight or both to have run into some pretty smart bloggers out there with much to say and I have learned much from you. Today was no exception….and so as I was saying ( sorry, if I am rambling) I was immersed in this fun “problem” of picking just three words to write a mind-blowing and oh so deep post about.

What’s next?  Random, mind and spirit popped up and instantly got me thinking…..hmmmm…sounds like Astral traveling; which could be an inexpensive way for a poor wannabe writer such as myself  to see the world and bring along some of my favorite blogging buddies. Oh what a time we’d have!  Skimming across The Atlantic..shooting to the Milky Way and beyond.  I couldn’t wait to pack my bags when it hit me—no chocolate! I forgot to include chocolate on my list—how stupid and so not like me.

Yum
Yum

So this chocolate thing got me distracted I must admit. I was forced, I say forced to focus my mind with a largish bowl of creamy and no doubt, fatty chocolate ice cream… this seemed to calm me and my mind was then free to stumble about to places it should not go when I put together another triad of words: body, money and choice. Since this blog is PG rated I knew this would not do. I immediately put together three other words: truth, time and destination. This made of think of writing an action packed story about time travel!  Whoo-ho! This is it! This is how I can show off my creative talents! I sharpened the imaginary pencil that writes in my mind and got to work only to realize that all the Science Fiction I’ve read in my life had come back to haunt me. I didn’t want anyone to accuse me of subconscious plagiarism as I discovered I was writing out the plot of  H.G. Wells‘ “The Time Machine.” So another three words would have to do.

I started to wonder about myself and my sanity at this point. The good people at The Daily Post need me to come up with something great and witty and deep..did I mention deep before? Did I mention how wonderful and smart the people are over there at the Daily Post? (this is me sucking up by the way) Did I mention that in the almost two years that I have been putting out this blog that I have yet to be Freshly Pressed? (hint-hint)

And so back to the wondering…I am wondering what to do and then it hits me; the three words; random, seven and truth—The Seven Truths of Random,.  How exciting and intriguing and…oh so deep. What a perfect title!

Instantly I remembered a quote:

  “Life is random and fucked-up and arbitrary, until you find someone who can make sense of it all for you— if only temporarily.”

~Matthew Quick

"Undress Parade"

and then I remembered that I’m PG rated, and I have chosen not to use words like “fucked-up”  oops. sorry….but the meaning is meaningful; many of us are looking for meaning. I know I am. For someone to tell us the truth and not just seven random ones but all of them.  I thought I alone cannot but perhaps together we can. Sorry, this is where I admit that I don’t have seven truths for you, not even random ones but I do have something…a fantastic array of creative friends (that’s you guys by the way) that will never cease to inspire.  THAT is the truth and nothing but…and by the way, thanks for that!

Strawberryindigo.

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Daily Prompt-Haphazard (dailypost.wordpress.com)

Daily Prompt: Three-Tenths (angloswiss-chronicles.com)

Daily Prompt: Three-Tenths (theidol1.wordpress.com)

Daily Prompt: Three-Tenths (lifetheuniversenddepression.wordpress.com)

Haphazard (ambitiousdrifter.wordpress.com)

FUN STUFF to Ponder

  How to Perform Astral Projection (wikihow.com)

The Time Machine 1960 excerpt of film (YouTube)

How to Time Travel (science.howstuffworks.com)

 Astral Traveler by YES (YouTube)

English: Artist's conception of the spiral str...
English: Artist’s conception of the spiral structure of the Milky Way with two major stellar arms and a central bar. “Using infrared images from NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope, scientists have discovered that the Milky Way’s elegant spiral structure is dominated by just two arms wrapping off the ends of a central bar of stars. Previously, our galaxy was thought to possess four major arms.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fresh Quotes: June: WRITERS

writers Aurora public domain photograph

“Writers are completely out of touch with reality.”

Joss Whedon

writers typewriter vintage

Writers

What could I possibly write about writers that hasn’t already been written. Writers are famous/infamous for many reasons, most of them true. Many of we scribblers are a little cracked  but rest assured…I’ve heard from many reliable sources that it’s the cracked ones that let the light into this world.

Writers have lots of interesting bits inside them; odds and ends and little pieces of themselves that under the right circumstances will spill out unto a bright white sheet of paper, like drops of blood on a canvas.

It takes a certain amount of courage to put your words and thoughts out there for others to judge or criticise. It puts one in a vulnerable situation. It takes a certain force of personality, a confidence and sheer niavety with a touch of egotism to put one’s heart and soul out there…innnermost thoughts and beliefs ripe for dissection.

It is a thirst, a need to express oneself. To send the little bits of ourselves off to have lives of their own, floating around in the collective consciousness where we all share everything. To reach out to others with words..conveying hopes, dreams and ideas…

The need to be heard.  It is a compulsion. A strong maybe not so logical compulsion but it is powerful….and words are inspiring…this month’s set of quotes are devoted to some of my favorite people: Writers.

It is a blessing, a curse or the best thing ever to be a writer….perhaps it is all three!

This month’s edition

WRITERS

…here they are…and pictures too…

Happy June!

~Strawberrryindigo.

nuclear explosion

“The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.”

Albert Camus

Cloud with silver lining

A writer – and, I believe, generally all persons – must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.”

Jorge Luis Borges

small things walk alone on beach at sunset

Writers may be disreputable, incorrigible, early to decay or late to bloom but they dare to go it alone.

John Updike

NosferatuShadow

“A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.”

― Franz Kafka

night-view by SBI

“At night, when the objective world has slunk back into its cavern and left dreamers to their own, there come inspirations and capabilities impossible at any less magical and quiet hour. No one knows whether or not he is a writer unless he has tried writing at night.”

― H.P. Lovecraft

magic_mushrooms_by_tomlenz</

“You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.”

― Neil Gaiman

writers monkeyuntitled

Everybody is writing, writing, writing-worst of all writing poetry. I’d be better if the whole tribe of the scribblers-every damned one of us-were sent off somewhere with tool chests to do some honest work.”

~Walt Whitman

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*Sometimes writers need help too. Thanks for that!  YOU know who YOU are…

~SBI

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Quotes From Franz Kafka (consilientinterest.com)

Hemingway On Training For Aspiring Writers (thenewwritersjourney.wordpress.com)

On Writing – Having someone that will call you on your bullsh.(swampofboredom.com)

Inspire Me

funny-cat-sleeping-wallpaper

Sometimes inspiration comes on like the flu; suddenly and seemingly from nowhere…you are overtaken by something and at first you don’t know quite what it is and then it hits you…whack and it’s there and it seems like it will never leave and then quietly it all dissipates into the thin air and you are left spent but happy.

Other times inspiration needs to be hunted down, beaten over the head with a club and dragged by its hair back to your cave where you can wear it down…but it seems to want to escape but then on rare occasions usually during the time of the full moon it decides it likes you and stays awhile…but just like anything; inspiration, it comes, it goes, like ebbs and flows.

Inspiration…where is it when you need it?…and where can I get some?

cat anger simmering

I admit it; I’m in a rut. I have a case of the blahs and I don’t care who knows it. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. (that was last year) It’s not so bad, really.

There is an art to being in a rut…a rut I think is an essential part of the life experience…being in a rut is kind of like purgatory, your neither here or there and it doesn’t feel very good at the time but it does provide an enlightening view…

Appreciation can be heightened by the deprivation of inspiration and being in a rut can serve as a springboard to the new and the untried wonderful possibilities that are out there just waiting for us.

At least I hope so…

Perhaps it’s the rain…it could be the lack of time or sleep? It could just be me….but really that doesn’t matter I have a date with a springboard.

Perhaps it’s my impatience with myself, knowing I probably won’t live forever…I cannot wait around for the tide to turn.

What I’m trying to say is that this is one of the times I’m planning getting me a club and hunting down some of that inspiration.

So where does one look for this elusive inspiration? OR

Does the act of looking for inspiration cause it to disappear?

My stay in cubicleland is getting to me…the three gray walls and I and a computer and a phone…this is not the stuff that dreams are made of.

comedy drunk_cat_passed_out1

It feels like feisty and fun SBI is hiding somewhere in the recesses of my mind probably drinking a Margarita and having a smashing time while boring old Nancy has taken control of the wheel…Yuck!

See how serious this is?!

Lately as I am tapping away at my little white laptop the words come but in drip drops, no flood, certainly no passion or fire…I write away and after about 400 or 500 words I just sort of fizzle out and get to the point in the post where I am supposed to be getting to the point but I find by the time I get there, I have none; no point that is.

Cat_chess_2

The unpublished fragments, in various stages of completion sit in the drafts section, there are more of them than I thought..they all lack the same thing; Inspiration and a point and there’s 32 of them. 32? really?

Perhaps I should go root around in there and see what I can come up with…wish me luck…and while I’m going through my old post bits like old socks in the sock drawer could you do me a favor?

Could you hand me a slice of inspiration or tell me where you got yours? You wear it well my friends and I’m at a loss.

What or who inspires you? What fills you full of creative energies and puts forth new and exciting ideas in your mind? Is it a sight? An action? A person? A feeling? Does music inspire you? Or love?

Let me know and we can compare notes…

~SBI

cat hugs