Welcome to MY LIFE IN COLOR
Hello. My name is Nancy and I blog under the name of Strawberryindigo.
I am a writer deep down to the very essence of my being. Words are the air that I breathe. I have spent much of my life locked inside myself. I kept my thoughts and feelings buried behind a high wall of my own creation. I was frightened of everything, especially people. I was alone and felt I had nowhere to turn. Words became my best friends; my only true friends. The people I knew thought they knew the real me but that was only a facade. I hid myself well, Observing from the shadows. I felt so different, so odd. I would have this fantasy that I was an alien being who had been deposited here by accident and someday my people would return for me. I felt so deeply. I still do. I would cry so easily…on the inside. I learned very early to keep this locked deep inside of me; this empathy for the world. It would hurt. I would feel pain; an emptiness that would ache and I would yearn for someone who was like me to share my thoughts and feelings with. I would sit alone in my room and write and write. I never shared any of these writings with anyone. I wouldn’t dare. Then they would know my secret that I wasn’t really one of them.
I hid myself well. I grew up fast; numbing myself in a blur of drugs and alcohol, but the pain was still there just underneath the surface. There were times that I wanted to die, but life went on. I had two beautiful young children by then and knew if anything I had to live for them. But I still wouldn’t allow anyone in my heart and my soul. This continued through my twenties and thirties. It wasn’t until my daughter, then in the 5th grade, was diagnosed with Asperger’s, a form of high functioning autism that the pieces of the puzzle started to fill in for me. At first I denied it. How could she have Asperger’s, she is just like me and that is when it hit. I too was Asperger’s and I found that although I was and still am unique that I wasn’t alone…that I didn’t have to be. My life changed then.
I started to communicate online in a chat room for others on the spectrum. I found a group of people with so many similarities that was shook me to my core. Most of these people were younger than me and I found myself taking on the role of counselor to these young adults. I discovered that by helping others I was essentially healing myself. The ache of my loneliness ceased the moment I said to someone else: “You are not alone, I am here for you”. I found that I was braver and more outspoken than I thought I could ever be.I decided to start blogging and My Life in Color began. I meant the blog to be about my life on the spectrum, a sort of inside view of life on the inside, but just as before I found that even in the Asperger’s community, I was still an oddity and I sought my own way.
I decided to reach out to others in all walks of life around the globe. In the blogging community I was welcomed with open arms. My quirks and eccentricities, my colorful whimsicalness and my deep and strong feelings were viewed as assets not as strangeness. I was accepted and I bloomed and continue to thrive in this warm and welcoming atmosphere. I feel this is why I was put on this Earth: To reach out to those in need of reaching out to; the misunderstood and the alone, the quiet, the unique and yes…the odd…to everyone. I believe that all life is sacred, and we all need love. People, animals, and our beautiful planet Earth and I have put it upon myself to be an advocate for these ideals.I have become braver and braver over the two years I have been blogging. I have learned so much from you; the wonderful people I have been in contact with. I have made friends all over the globe and I am constantly inspired by these communications. I know that I am not alone and that I never will be again and that is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. It is a dream of mine that I am finally pursuing. I enjoy writing, it makes me happy. I would like to share this happiness with you. I believe I have a unique perspective on life that will be revealed as you read on. I have much to say; I can be opinionated and feisty and a bit over the top sometimes but I am honest and I care. I am inspired by our colorful planet full of life and all its beautiful forms. I believe that optimism is contagious and that nothing is impossible.
I am interested in interesting people and meaningful and intelligent conversation. I value all opinions and I like to explore all sides of an issue.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.
I believe that by reaching out to others you are never alone. Feel free to comment on anything you see on this site. I welcome it.
I can be contacted privately at my email: firstname.lastname@example.org
PEACE and LOVE,
These are a few of my favorite things
Keep coming back. I am always in flux and so is this website. There will new content on a constant basis.
You never know what you’ll get…