The New Adventures of MochaCat

 

 

Introducing Mocha

 

The hippest most right on cat in Portland. He’s dark, he’s smoooooth, he’s so cool.

We adopted him through an agency that helps find homes for homeless mom cats and their soon to be born kittens. They were great, they gave him all his shots and were very helpful in giving us care instructions.

 

What they didn’t say was that Mocha is no ordinary cat, not by any means.

Never have I seen a kitten jump so high, or run so fast. Never have I encountered such a keen intellect in a cat his age. He is only three months old but reads at a sixth grade level.

He is witty and charming but has a bit of a temper. And whatever you do, don’t trust him with your marbles as he is bound to steal them and put them in your shoes for you to discover later.

I don’t know who his mother was exactly. The adoption agency won’t tell me. I have a feeling she was born of noble blood and so was Mocha by the size of his ego and of his bank account. I didn’t know that kittens came with their own stock portfolio’s but apparently this one does. Once we took him home he immediately got on the phone and called his broker and then his accountant. I didn’t know cats had accountants.

I have a feeling that Mocha is money obsessed and it’s not good for him. He is a bit artificial and frankly snobby with the other cats that have come by and welcomed him to the neighborhood.

And he keeps buying things!  Like fancy pet furniture and cases of canned Mackerel. I don’t know where to put it all.

He goes down everyday to Starbucks and gets himself the Vente size Java Chip at Starbucks, he loves it there. And they love him!  They have named a drink after him, just shows how persuasive he is!

In fact he is paying me to write this fascinating and favorable post about him. Money does talk and since I am temporarily unemployed the money comes in handy. So watch for more stories about his antics. Maybe next time we can find out how he got such a silly name.

 

 

~nlm

 

Adventures in Mocha

 

Tuxedo Mocha Frappuccino

 

Mocha Quotes 

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.

Mark Helprin

The modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top

Sarah Vowell
Mocha Cheesecake Bites
Mocha Pancakes With Mocha Syrup

 

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The Wild Toads of Borneo

 

In the interest of science I am putting together a team of elite experts and chartering an expedition to the jungles of Borneo to seek the all illusive psychedelic toads that are rumored to live there.

A film crew will be documenting the events…

 

vintage-explorer-man

 

We will be led by Doctor Major Hector Cortez Santa Ana Rodriguez Rodriquez.  He is hands down the foremost expert on those trippy toads of legend.

He has sought these elusive toads for over seven years close and believes he is about to hit paydirt.

That is why we hired the film crew and that is why I personally loaned the Doctor Major 50 bucks of my own money for this very important and possibly dangerous scientific event.

 

 

The Doctor Major first became interested in the idea of Psychedelic Toads after reading a slender book smuggled to him by a fellow inmate at The Rocky Butte correctional facility in Portland Oregon in 1983. It was entitled Bufo alvarius, the Psychedelic Toad of the Sonoran Desert.

The Dr Major was instantly fascinated. The book explained how to find the toad in dark damp caves, how to extract the venom and how to prepare it for smoking.

Within thirty seconds, there will be an onset of almost overwhelming psychedelic effects. You will be completely absorbed in a complex chemical event characterized by an overload of thoughts and perception, brief collapse of the EGO, and loss of the space-time continuum. Relax, breathe regularly, and flow with the experience. After two to three minutes, the initial intensity fades to a pleasant LSD-like sensation in which visual illusions, hallucinations, and perceptual distortions are common. You may sense a distortion in your perceived body image or notice the world shrinking or expanding. You may notice that colors seem brighter and more beautiful than usual. And, most likely, you will experience a euphoric mood interspersed with bursts of unmotivated laughter.
Within 30 seconds, there will be an onset of almost overwhelming psychedelic effects. You will be completely absorbed in a complex chemical event characterized by an overload of thoughts and perception and loss of the space-time continuum. Relax, breathe regularly, and flow with the experience. After two to three days, the initial intensity fades to a pleasant LSD-like sensation in which visual illusions, hallucinations, and perceptual distortions are common.  You may notice that colors seem brighter and more beautiful. And, most likely, you will experience a euphoric mood interspersed with bursts of unmotivated laughter.
 art-man-mind-mindful-psychedelic

The Doctor Major was so fascinated by this idea that he after his release he went immediately to the Sonoran Desert in Arizona where he met two teenage boys at the 7 eleven in Gilbert. They were riding a mule and eating jelly donuts. They told him that the Sonoran toads were “dude, so totally last year” and if he really wanted to find “the real shit” he should go see the Toads of Borneo. Ever the optimist The Dr hopped the first barge to Borneo where he met a man, an old Indian who was drinking in the only decent bar in the town of Putatan near the edge of the jungle.  The man was wearing a loincloth and speaking in a language The Doctor Major could not understand but that or because of it the two immediately had an understanding that transcended all words and all logic whatsoever. They decided to join forces and descended into the dark jungle.


 

vintage-borneo-natives-men

 

There they spent seven grueling years fighting off bouts of malaria and godless heathen tribes who wanted to eat them. They searched deep caves and high into the mountains. The jungles beat the hell out if them but this made the Doctor Major even hungrier for a taste of the toads. The years had not been so kind to the old Indian who had died six years previously but this had gone unnoticed until recently by the Dr Major who had thought the Indian old and lazy and hadn’t noticed he was decomposing.

Obviously the Doctor Major was distraught. That is when he contacted me and told me his story. Of course I was compelled to help.

 

Obama Admin. Unveils New Policy Easing Medical Marijuana Prosecutions

 

Together we have raised almost 2,000 dollars through a series of Tupperware parties and by selling The Doctor Major’s high grade marijuana.

The day we put out the ads we were swamped with offers to go along. We have picked what we have deemed the best ones. 

 

gilligans-island

The mate is a mighty sailing man, The skipper seems brave and sure. He tells me it will only take three hours to get there, yes–a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

I will be writing an epic novel based on the adventures of the Doctor Major and his brave crew if they are successful and survive the journey. 

I, of course reluctantly have to stay behind due to my job as president of Shenanigans University. I will however be hiring an assistant who will be my eyes and ears on the mission. I will be accepting applications all week.

(Hint: I am NOT above bribery)  

 

Please send your resumes (and bribes) to my secretary. 

Thank you and good luck!!

 

~NLM

 

 

Reference and Related reading

 

toad-of-borneo-animal-frog

 

Bufo alvarius:
The Psychedelic Toad of the Sonoran Desert

Joy To The World – Three Dog Night (Youtube) 

Cats in Space

 

cat-my_god_it's_full_of_stars space cats funny

This is a scene from the upcoming musical remake of the Science Fiction classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. It features an all-star all cat cast and is directed by and stars my famous feline Mario.  I know what you are thinking: How can a cat direct a movie?  I thought that myself at first but when he explained to me that he had attended “directoring school”  in one of his previous nine lives and that he was, and I quote, “Golden”   I felt he may be onto something. I mean he isn’t famous for nothing.

 

I had the impression from him that this would be easy but it has been anything but easy.    Cats never do what you want them to do, even the so called “professionals”.  They are demanding and picky. The cast members would send me out for tuna sandwiches and almost every single time they were dissatisfied with the quality of the fish and would meow mercilessly until I returned to the restaurant and demanded better. Half the delis in town thought I was a nut.

tuna cat

These actor types, what prima donnas…and the director himself you ask?  What a hot head. He was driven by some sort of vision but what that vision was, I had no idea.

Mario had no sympathy for me and no time.  Whenever I tried to talk any reason with him he would suddenly get up from his easy chair and utter in his heavily accented husky voice: “This conversation can serve no purpose anymore, goodbye” and sashay out.

 

The power has gone to his head I tell you. ( He’s gone quite mad you know)  

cat dance 1

 

Mario would stay up late at night practicing his dance moves and sing old bawdy sailor tunes from his past life as a ship’s cat. My goodness, those songs can get raunchy. The neighbors complained. The police have been out several times due to the loud music and the gang of mewing groupie cats that sit outside on the front lawn at all hours stupefied on what I think was very potent catnip.

 

space cat face

Seriously I had my doubts. I mean the whole thing was filmed in our backyard and most of the sets were imaginary.  I was never allowed back there during filming. I would go to the side gate and leave the tuna sandwiches. I had no idea…but it just goes to show why my Mario is as famous as he is…

 

cat space burger

 

The advance reviews have been “stellar”. I don’t get it, but the critics loved it.  I hear it is a “tour de farce” and a “cinematic meowsterpiece”. I can’t believe it but my cat’s movie will premier at the Canne Film Festival.

It’s just goes to show that you never know and don’t doubt the dreamer until you see the fruition of a dream.

~NLM

 

Pink Floyd Echoes and 2001 A Space Odyssey 

(Pink Floyd Echoes synchronized with 2001 A Space Odyssey – Jupiter and Beyond The Infinite. 720p version.)

 

 

Fame is a harsh mistress, just ask my cat.

 

 

mario my famous cat face

“I’m already crazy. I’m a fearless person. I think it creeps up on you. I don’t think it can be stopped. If my destiny is to lose my mind because of fame, then that’s my destiny. But my passion still means more than anything.”
~Lady Gaga

 

My famous cat Mario is beside himself.  He fears his fame is fleeting and soon he’ll be forgotten. I was shocked. My cat never talks this way; he has been always a positive force, what happened to his great lion-like confidence?

Apparently he’d noticed his page-rankings were down. He had Googled himself multiple times over the past few weeks and had been disappointed by the results. I laughed and cited his numerous accomplishments, awards and medals.

In a light hissy tone he ranted on and on about link analysis algorithms and numerical weighting. He then he spewed out formulas and equations. Honestly I was lost there.

He complained that his new book “Napping for the Sophisticated”  hasn’t been selling and that he’s sick of “playing some fool human’s pet in tawdry pet food commercials.”  

Mario confided in me that his secret dream is to be the star of his own talk show. He wants to bring back the glamour and as he put it: “The Va va va voom of old downtown Burbank back into late night T.V. just like his idol Johnny Carson.  He said he needed to “create a stir online to garner support and create a buzz”.

I offered to write a blog post about him and he laughed at me with disdain for suggesting such a thing. He brought up the fact that my readers are few, a devoted few( thanks guys) but a few nonetheless.

 

 

mario sleep nap sun

He said we need to hire a production team to make an overly dramatic and wildly expensive but tasteful You tube video about his napping habits. He showed me this pic of him I took last summer. He called it “golden” and asked how could anyone human or cat “resist this cuteness?” 

He also wants a publicist “that knows what they’re doing” and a secretary to keep all his projects together for him. He demanded money to pay these “over-priced but well worth it professionals”.

He went so far as to suggest he could pull a wild stunt possibly involving himself and that other cat Spotsy who he calls White Fang in some sort of well-documented and digitally enhanced posturing incident where Mario wins a place atop all the furniture ( yeah right) while The Fang is delegated outside.

How did I get involved in this? ~Spotsy
How did I get involved in this?
~Spotsy

 

In a fit of  hysteria he told the tale about the cat down the street who flushed the toilet all day long while his human servants were off “working”. Eventually he become so famous for this one simple act a news crew showed up and filmed him.

“He now has his own pilot coming out this fall on NBC.”  Mario wailed in a mournful and pathetic mew.

Like I said, I had never seen Mario like this. My poor loving and faithful friend was reduced to a sad and desperate victim of that bitch goddess, fame.

 

Follow your bliss Mario, I said in no uncertain terms, he rolled his eyes knowing it was just me quoting Joseph Campbell again.  There is a reason I do this.  I  brought up the fact that his true love is music, which it is and that if he diligently and deliberately pursued this love, all that he desired will come to him. As some of you may or may not know,  Mario is a fabulous vocalist. He has the soul of Cat Stevens with all the pizzazz of a young Catty Purry. His lack of confidence holds him back, it’s something we share, that and pure laziness.

Your family loves you and that’s all that really matters Mario, I told him. Fame is supposed to be fleeting, love is not.

We spoke on throughout the afternoon. Mario entertained us with a medley of his favorite show tunes and we twittered away the rest of the day lost in a sweet and legal marijuana haze his musician friends contributed to the packed room of neighborhood cats and trippy neighborhood people.  We drank tea and enjoyed the music and that is what it’s all about.

😀  

~NLM

 

mario my famous cat sing song

 

 

 

mario my famous cat sings sing a song

 

“The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens — but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it’s love and love alone that really matters.”
~Tom Robbins

 

(UPDATE: Mario will soon be coming out with a new album. A bluesy reggae pop sound he’s been working on. I’ll keep you all posted)

 

Related Articles

The New Face of Friskies (strawberryindigo.wordpress.com) 

Cat Stevens – If you want to sing out

 

 

mario my famous cat in garden

 

Of Cats and Men

A wee tidbit from the other blog…pure silliness with some interesting “facts” mixed with the stuff I just blatantly made up. Enjoy!

Serendipity 13

old man with cat on leashTo me nothing is sexier than a man with a cat. Yes, you heard that right; I like guys who like cats.  These men are not afraid to show their kinder and gentler side. These are masculine men, rugged men, intelligent men with big muscles and facial hair. These brave men ignore the taunts and teases from other men, men who say that “real men” only have tough kick-ass pets like Pit Bulls, Snakes and Roosters with attitudes but not cute and cuddly cats, but these men, these “cat men” know the truth. That any real man worth his salt is compassionate and loving and likes a good petting every once in a while. So without any further ado I give you.

Of Cats and Men

vintage marlon brando and cat

Marlon Brando with His Cat at Home

The cat was an outstanding poet but lacked the fingers to type. Marlon provided those fingers and…

View original post 331 more words

Star Trek All-Star Extravaganza and Jamboree

space stars gif star trek

Boldly going where no blogger has gone before; into the depths and reaches of time, space and syndicated television greatness to celebrate nothing less than a cultural phenomenon.

Star Trek

I am not the only one who shares a fondness for the crew of the Starship Enterprise.  We are everywhere, we connoisseurs of the best Sci-Fi creation of all time.  Seldom does a television show make such a far-reaching and significant impact on popular culture. Cancelled in it’s third season, this low budget small screen affair returned and won over a devoted fan base and cult-like following in reruns followed by movies and spin-offs.

The show touched on many important issues of the day. Much of the themes it explored are still valid today.  Star Trek explored more than just a fictional universe. It explored the issues of the day during a  time of great social change. It had much to say and subtly it spoke volumes. Star Trek pushed the envelope a bit when it could. It showed a future world where we humans had grown up; in which the people of the Earth had seen beyond their differences and embraced unity in a Federation of Planets.  Money was obsolete and it seemed everyone was free and able to pursue their dreams by utilizing their unique talents thus contributing back to society in a positive way.

It was Utopian, it was visionary. It spoke to a generation and then to another and another….

The crew of the fictional Enterprise comprised of a well-rounded mix of humans with a smattering of beings from other worlds all living in harmony. Sure, there were dangers out there…but that is what made it fun and there was always a lesson…and it was fair. The star of the show was the ship: The Enterprise. To its captain she was everything. In that crazy made-up universe she carried her adoring crew to far off exotic planets where they’d experience adventures and save other humanoids….spreading  justice all over the galaxy.

 Another world saved at the last minute, a sigh of relief and a little joke and on to more adventures ahead…warp factor 1.

 There are likely a million people out there who probably know more about the show than I.  It has quite a number of devoted admirers, I am but one. One of the many amazing thing about Star Trek is the feeling of devotion and loyalty it evokes. Of the original series I have seen every episode, more than once. Each one is unique and comfortably the same. I still watch one from time to time and it’s like coming home; akin to steeping inside a toasty warm and wonderful memory that smells faintly of Mom’s roast beef, mashed potatoes and greatness.

and so without further ado I present SBI’s

star trek sulu with sword gif

 Star Trek All-Star Tribute Extravaganza and Jamboree

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Bringing you oddly shaped bits and pieces of pixel goodness, presented haphazardly and entirely for fun by me for whomever has the guts to continue on…..

**Note:  What follows is not earth shattering. It will not make you cry, ponder or reflect in anyway. You will not learn anything whatsoever, in fact you may lose brain cells along the way. This may  inspire you but not in any sort of meaningful way. What follows is a frivolous distraction filled with all kinds of cool GIF’s.  🙂  Okay. That being said let’s hop aboard!

THE NUMBERS

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79

Number of episodes in The Original Series before it was cancelled

(See list)

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FRESH QUOTES ala STAR TREK

Captain James T. Kirk--egotist in space

James T. Kirk: Genius doesn’t work on an assembly line basis. Did Einstein, Kazanga or Sitar of Vulcan produce new and revolutionary theories on a regular schedule? You can’t simply say, “Today I will be brilliant.”

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McCoy_experiencing_cordrazine_frenzy star trek

Dr. McCoy: Spock, I’ve found that evil usually triumphs…unless good is very, very careful

*

star trek nn

Leonard McCoy: The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy– emotionally healthy, that is.

Spock: That may be, Doctor. However, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you.

star trek scotty drink

*

James T. Kirk: Another technical journal, Scotty?

Montgomery Scott: Aye.

James T. Kirk: Don’t you ever relax?

Montgomery Scott: I am relaxing.
*

star trek kirk and keeler

Edith Keeler: One day soon, man is going to be able to harness incredible energies, maybe even the atom… energies that could ultimately hurl us to other worlds in… in some sort of spaceship. And the men that reach out into space will be able to find ways to feed the hungry millions of the world and to cure their diseases. They will be able to find a way to give each man hope and a common future. And those are the days worth living for.

star trek gif fascinating spock

Did You Know?

Star Trek Facts

  1. Lieutenant Uhura’s name means “freedom” in Swahili.
  2. At the same time the Star Trek series was beginning to create a loyal following, the Monkees were exploding onto TV sets. Consequently, Roddenberry created the character of Pavel Andreievich Chekhov as a close approximation of the Monkees’ lead singer, Davy Jones—with a Russian accent.
  3. Divorce Klingon style means slapping your spouse, reciting the words “N’Gos tlhogh cha!” (our marriage is done) and spitting in your spouse’s face.
  4. Klingons prefer to eat food that’s still alive. A favorite meal is gagh, a slimy serpent-worm dish, followed by warm blood wine.  (Yum)
  5. Vulcans have inner eyelids that protect their eyes from the intensity of the Vulcan sun. They can also survive several days without water, perhaps because they evolved on a hot, dry planet.
  6. Even though they’d prefer not to mate, Vulcan’s are compelled to reproduce by a ritual called Pon Farr. Once every seven years, they are consumed by Plak-tow, or blood fever, in which they become  savage and may even fight to the death.
  7. Vulcans were once an extremely violent and emotional people until Surak developed a new philosophy of logic, which spawned the Vulcan time of Awakening. Those opposed to Vulcan logic left the planet and founded colonies elsewhere, most notably the Romulan Empire.
  8. The character Spock was at first rejected by network officials who feared his vaguely “Satanic” appearance (with pointed ears and eyebrows) might prove upsetting to some viewers.  Spock, however, went on to become one of the most popular characters on the show. Spock, in fact, became a sex symbol of sorts–something no one connected with the show had expected. Leonard Nimoy notes that the question of Spock’s extraordinary sex appeal emerged:
    “almost any time I talked to someone in the press…I never give it a thought….to try to deal with the question of Mr. Spock as a sex symbol is silly.

star trek spock gif happy

Speaking of a certain Mr. Spock…

Yes, I have mentioned in a past post a girlhood crush I may have had on the Vulcan. I do tend to fall for the conflicted and emotional  types…but I have since moved on. He is aware of this and we are “just friends”. That being said I would like to address some rumors that have been bandying about regarding the candid photo shot by a member of the paparazzi at an exclusive Portland mall. Yes. It is I and Spock, but despite what the tabloids say we are Not, I repeat Not running off to Risa together.

Spock and Nancy

My heart belongs to someone else but THAT is another story…
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So what are your favorite Star Trek memories?  Do you have a favorite episode or favorite character? Do you even like Star Trek at all and are wondering why I keep going on and on about it? These are the questions, if you choose to answer….regardless, this post will now self-destruct in five seconds…haha. Just kidding…seriously…

Have an amazing day full of fun space adventures….or chocolate, either one but have a great day!

Strawberryindigo.

gif star trek enterp

Odds and ends and little snippets

Top 10 ‘Star Trek’ Technologies That Actually Came True (howstuffworks.com)

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Star Trek: The Original Series (wikipedia)

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Star Trek Quotes  (wikiquote)  An excellent resource.

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To Boldly Go Crazy: The Weird Fan Art Adventures of the Starship Enterprise

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YouTube

Where No Man Has Gone Before Star Trek: The Original Series (Every episode)

Lucy in the sky with diamonds by Bill Shatner   (Psychedelic)

Mr Tambourine Man by Bill Shatner (Very Very Shatner)

Spock Singing Bitter Dregs

Star-Trek-TOS-cast-star-trek-the-original-series-

Trivial nonsense regarding high finance

Here we are in a dusty under used cherry paneled office with skylights. I am looking around for something in here and I really don’t know what it will be until I find it. MM hands me a book just out of the blue.

dictionary

It is a small concise edition of the very famous and widely popular Dictionary of Finance and Investment Terms by John Downes and Jordan Elliot Goodman. YES! That one. This book holds really no sentimental value to me, it is just here, a rarely used item from my distant past but yet this book compels me to open it and open it now..I know you are compelled too and want me to open it and I do and…immediately a feeling overcomes me: I feel funny; not unwell funny but haha funny and decide to make fun of this funny book that helps funny people in a hilarious world indeed.

Random can be fun as well so I decide to take random words out of this book and write a story using each and every word. This can sometimes get the creative juices flowing and what better book, what better time? It is a Saturday and I am the process of doing absolutely nothing; this is one of my favorites things not to do!

Pop!
Pop!

The first word is boring and typical but in the skilled hands of a good writer could be twisted and used to immense success; that is your standard RATE OF INFLATION. This is just what it states…the rate at which something inflates, as in…The Economy…some people’s egos or the number of weeds in my garden. I remember inflation from my youth…too much of it is like cholesterol,  it clogs the arteries…this is NOT fun.

dictionary English-hedgerow-augmented-reality-plate

…so onward to the next word, HEDGE.  It  makes me think of The British and World War II for some reason. Hedgerows are nice aren’t they? Perhaps I could write a story about a big fat flower bush. I really don’t have enough words for any viable ideas so I press on and open the book to a new and random page…oh lovely page 378…and the word is SHARK REPELLENT! Oh what luck! This is a good word. Shark repellent in the finance business is a measure taken by a corporation to discourage unwanted takeover attempts, never to be outdone by The SHARK WATCHER (it is on the same page and I saw it and had to use it. THAT is the name of , of course, a firm specializing in the early detection of takeover activities…sounds like a war and a war of the worst kind; war with sharks in it!

Great White Shark Opening Mouth

I am not making this up…the next word is ASSET COVERAGE. There could be a lot to say here.  I suppose you should use your imaginations on that…suffice to say…it’s something we all have to do from time to time and in the world of finance it has to do with preferred stock and equity positions.

I know you are thinking where is she going with this? I am wondering that myself, I suppose we will all have to wait and see what happens next.

My imagination starts to swirl with various ridiculous images and colors..a totally natural high brought about by the ambrosia of words mixed with the intrigue of high finance. My fingers tremble with excitement…could possibly be next?!

And then suddenly the room starts to spin and I black out– apparently the experience was just too much for me and I woke up several hours later with a slamming headache…   😉

Apparently my bubble burst and invariably whatever goes up…must come down . It’s just like that with that damn market...

 What a ride. I don’t have to tell you that I am laying off that stuff for a while….

Have a fantastic day!

Strawberryindigo.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” 
― Oscar Wilde

quote inspirational imagesCA8Q1BFG

Tulips and Sexy Speculative Bubbles (picturesinlivingcolor.wordpress.com)

MONEY by Pink Floyd (YouTube)

Stock Market Bubble  (theglobeandmail.com)