It all started with an idea. A grandiose crazy idea, some of which I am about to tell you, most of it I must keep to myself for now but suffice to say it will be my first big move into the fast paced grown-up world of freelance writing.
So I got this idea; a flash of brilliance that almost blinded my cat Mario. I was so excited by this that I started to jump up and down and instantly without thinking, I plunged my dainty hand straight into a bag of Doritos and started to consume it’s overly cheesy contents. I am a mom and I preach ad nauseam against this sort of activity but there I was munching away; my eyes ablaze waiting for MM to come through the door and then suddenly: there he was, and there I was, and then I just blurted it out: “I want you to be my manager.” I managed to stammer, eyes wide, mouth full of chips. “You’d do what you’re doing now except that you could call yourself my manager…of course, I couldn’t pay you” I added sheepishly.
As you may have guessed; he jumped at the chance! So there we were jumping up and down like lunatics in the kitchen. By then Mario, my famous cat, had darted out of the room, but we didn’t care. We were hugging and I was getting neon cheesy dust on his back and I didn’t care and he didn’t know, but that’s OK–I do all the laundry. It was an amazing moment for both of us…
… It is also amazing how a person can pump themselves up with a basically unearned and certainly at this moment in time, worthless highfalutin title. Just like that. It is at these moments that I am proud to be an American!
And that reminds me…did you know that Americans are the most narcissistic people in the world? Well…I bet you knew that but did you know that I am NOT one of these narcissistic Americans? HA! I bet you didn’t know THAT! Yes, it’s true. I was a bit curious about the subject so I started reading a book on narcissism; its fascinating stuff. The book contains a short test which I took, and to my surprise and embarrassment; I scored pretty low…so low that I think I may suffer from low self-esteem with a shot of delusional over-thinking and obvious long-windedness. Apparently just thinking I may be narcissistic may disqualify me. Well I guess I still have some work to do….
…but now I have a manager and a goal…it’s nothing to choke on your Dorito over, but it’s a start.
Wishing you a fantastic day full of big dreams and junky neon cheese!
• ◊ Related articles ◊ •
Narcissism Personality Disorder Traits (mayoclinic.com)
Narcissism Test (personality-testing.info)
How Narcissism Can Be Good for You (psychologytoday.com)
What’s Really In Nacho Cheese Doritos (eatthis.menshealth.com)