It all started with an idea. A grandiose crazy idea, some of which I am about to tell you, most of it I must keep to myself for now but suffice to say it will be my first big move into the fast paced grown-up world of freelance writing.
So I got this idea; a flash of brilliance that almost blinded my cat Mario. I was so excited by this that I started to jump up and down and instantly without thinking, I plunged my dainty hand straight into a bag of Doritos and started to consume it’s overly cheesy contents. I am a mom and I preach ad nauseam against this sort of activity but there I was munching away; my eyes ablaze waiting for MM to come through the door and then suddenly: there he was, and there I was, and then I just blurted it out: “I want you to be my manager.” I managed to stammer, eyes wide, mouth full of chips. “You’d do what you’re doing now except that you could call yourself my manager…of course, I couldn’t pay you” I added sheepishly.
As you may have guessed; he jumped at the chance! So there we were jumping up and down like lunatics in the kitchen. By then Mario, my famous cat, had darted out of the room, but we didn’t care. We were hugging and I was getting neon cheesy dust on his back and I didn’t care and he didn’t know, but that’s OK–I do all the laundry. It was an amazing moment for both of us…
… It is also amazing how a person can pump themselves up with a basically unearned and certainly at this moment in time, worthless highfalutin title. Just like that. It is at these moments that I am proud to be an American!
And that reminds me…did you know that Americans are the most narcissistic people in the world? Well…I bet you knew that but did you know that I am NOT one of these narcissistic Americans? HA! I bet you didn’t know THAT! Yes, it’s true. I was a bit curious about the subject so I started reading a book on narcissism; its fascinating stuff. The book contains a short test which I took, and to my surprise and embarrassment; I scored pretty low…so low that I think I may suffer from low self-esteem with a shot of delusional over-thinking and obvious long-windedness. Apparently just thinking I may be narcissistic may disqualify me. Well I guess I still have some work to do….
…but now I have a manager and a goal…it’s nothing to choke on your Dorito over, but it’s a start.
Wishing you a fantastic day full of big dreams and junky neon cheese!
Strawberryindigo.
• ◊ Related articles ◊ •
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Narcissism Personality Disorder Traits (mayoclinic.com)
Narcissism Test (personality-testing.info)
How Narcissism Can Be Good for You (psychologytoday.com)
What’s Really In Nacho Cheese Doritos (eatthis.menshealth.com)
great I love cheese… 🙂
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Me too!! 😀
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Hilarious!! (The bit about the shirt and Doritos!) Congratulations!!!! I’ve also experienced that by calling myself a photographer and blogger the first time! It’s empowering! xo
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Oh and I took the test. 21 out of 40! Ouch. I am higher than 80% of the takers. And way higher than celebrities.
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Hi Spiritual! You have a very healthy self esteem and you are honest with yourself and others…very admirable, my friend. 🙂
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Thanks! 🙂
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Hey Spiritual: Thanks! It is empowering and liberating. We are on it! BTW you are a fantastic photographer! 😀
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Thank you, Strawberry!
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Delightful, simply delightful.
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Thanks so much Caimbeul, glad to see you back! 😀
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I have to try the narcissism test… 😉
I got only 3, isn’t it bad..? 😉
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We have a lot in common dear Drake…I too scored a 3…perhaps we can compliment each other back and forth until we make each other sick…or Narcisstic, whichever comes first. 😉 BTW You are looking good today–like a famous star of stage and screen, ever been in any movies?
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What fun! A new goal, a new manager AND cheesy Doritos! (I LOOOOVE the cheesy ones!) 😉
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Hey Cathy: It was quite the day…but I need to go to the store for more Doritos! I am finding we are not the only ones who love those cheesy triangles of pleasure… 😉
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Hooray for Doritos!!! I’m not American, nor do I have any idea what led up to your posting, and it’s entirely possible that I am narcissistic (I mean, who knows, right?) but I really, really needed this smile, today. Grad school is bad for my productivity… at least at writing and cleaning. In the eating of Doritos, my performance is exemplary. You’ve inspired me to do a bit more of both, today 🙂
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Hi Desi: I’ve read that Narcisstic people will never admit it, so you’re safe…you probably have a normal, healthy self-esteem which I aspire to. I’m glad this post made you smile…that makes me smile. Too bad there isn’t a course in junk food eating, THAT would be popular. Good luck with school and thanks for dropping by, you are welcome anytime! 🙂
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I would absolutely ace a course on Junk Food Eating. Seriously, A-pluses across the board! =D
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Imagine the homework involved! HAHA! Yes! I think I’d do well in that too. We would be the stars of the class! 😀
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Fantastic post! Can’t wait for the next installment. As for the Doritos….. Wavy Lays tend to top the Does for me, but they probably come in second (I think the orange fingers are such a pain cleaning off the keyboard!) 😉
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Hey Gunta: Thanks I had fun with it. Wavy Lays huh? …hmmm…all that crunchy, salty, fatty goodness..those are good too, do you dip? I am becoming inspired! 😉
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No dipping…. just accompanied by a glass of wine. Usually. (Now you know how utterly high-class I am!) 😉
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Very high class Gunta: Chips and booze…haha…we all know about you now. (just teasing you) 😉
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Behind the wonderful humor lies a glorious transformation: you called yourself a writer!!!!! I am pleased as punch to see that those words flew down your fingers onto your keyboard and into your post. You rock! And there is nothing narcissistic about that. (BTW-I can’t bear to look at what really is in Doritos. it is one of my favorite junk foods. Don’t want to take a chance of spoiling it forever.)
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Hey Janet: I guess I did mention something about that writer thing…hmmmm….it’s odd….my confidence grows….thanks for all the support…you are such a good person…and a good friend, thanks for that! BTW I couldn’t bear to look at the Doritos contents either…haha. Maybe some brave person will.
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Yes, confidence grows in tiny leaps, when we are not looking. The first time I told someone I was a musician, I was completely surprised that the “m” word came out of my mouth. Then I felt like I had to look over my shoulder in case somebody heard me, so I could tell them, “No, I did not really say that.”
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I had the same reaction Janet. I keep thinking: who am I to call myself a writer? I suffer from low self esteem but this is a step up since it used to be no self esteem so…who knows? Thanks again for your belief in me. It means so much! I will be sending you an e-mail soon, I received yours–thanks!
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Yeah! I love the writing…and I too have a soft spot for Doritos 🙂
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Hey Niaaeryn: Thanks. I hear from reliable sources that the Doritos have a soft spot for you too… 😉
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excellent post!!!! glad i stopped by!
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Thanks Terry! I’m glad you stopped by too! 🙂
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